Recently in listomania Category

After a long absence, I've decided to resuscitate the Baker's Dozen -- a fun and easy way to recap one's weekend. Originally, the exercise entailed summarizing the weekend with twelve bullet points and a photograph. I've made one change this time around by substituting a video for one of the bullet points. So, without further ado, let's bake...

1. Finally took down our Christmas tree. It was sad to see it go.
2. On the bright side, the living room looks huge.
3. Spent a few hours attacking the Clutter in the house, which is so pervasive, it requires capitalization.
4. Felt I made significant gains against the Clutter despite the house looking messier than ever.
5. Got sucked into Escape the Museum 2, a hidden object game (a.k.a. a time sink).
6. Hours spent playing the game weren't for naught. The skill to find hard to spot items came in handy when I accidentally spilled a bag of tiny nails in the garage.
7. Succeeded in eluding my inner editor long enough to write and post a short story on this blog¹.
8. Spent most of Sunday trying to keep the "delete entry" button away from my inner editor.
9. Watched the 52nd Annual Grammy Awards.
10. Found the Taylor Swift duet (with Stevie Nicks) and the 3-D part of the Michael Jackson 3-D tribute underwhelming.
11. My favorite performance of the night was P!nk's² "Glitter in the Air".

(For as long as it remains on YouTube, here's the video of P!nk's performance.)

(This weekend, thoughts of returning to Yosemite weighed heavily on my mind.)

¹ Short in terms of length, but long in terms of nonsense.
² If I ever become famous like P!nk, I'll seriously consider changing my name to Dav!d.

Whenever these five songs come on the radio, I find my heels bouncing on the floor and my head bobbing (a safe distance from the floor). Invisible drumsticks appear in my hands and I quickly lose myself in the beat. At the same time, the blood flees from my brain and seeks refuge in my ears, which is a good thing because if I were to actually stop a second to think about the lyrics, the joy would escape from the music, like helium from a balloon. These are songs to raise one's spirit, not necessarily one's intellect.

Note: The videos are from MTV Music, MTV's "beta" site (I hate the phrase "beta", but I like the site).

1. "Shattered" by O.A.R. (I swear it sounds as though James Blunt sings the first verse.)

2. "Viva La Vida" by Coldplay

3. "So What" by Pink

4. "Disturbia" by Rihanna (It starts out sounding a lot like an Aqua song.)

5. "Hot n Cold" by Katy Perry (She and Zooey Deschanel look so much alike, somebody has actually taken the time to do a side-by-side comparison.)

Of all the overused words and phrases tossed around, flung, or fired this endless election season, here is a list of the ugliest or most tired ones in dire need of retirement, or, at the very least, a long vacation...

• 270/538
• Blue State/Red State
• Domestic Terrorist
• Drill, Baby, Drill
• Elitist
• Executive Experience
• Fact Check
• False Equivalency
• Game Changer
• Gravitas
• Hatchet/Scalpel (and any other economic tool/instrument)
• In The Tank
• Joe Six Pack
• Joe the Plumber (and any other "Name the Occupation" variation)
• Kitchen Sink
• Kitchen Table
• Kool-Aid
• Lipstick
• Main Street/Wall Street
• Marxist
• Maverick
• My Friends
• Pro-America
• Reach Across The Aisle
• "Real" America
• Socialist
• Talking Points
• Vetted
• Without Preconditions
• You Betcha (whether used by a candidate or a columnist imitating a candidate)

Along with this list, I wouldn't mind seeing jokes regarding gained expertise based solely on one's line-of-sight shelved for at least four years.

1. This is a list of unrelated thoughts. I'm writing it because my brain feels blocked and this seemed like the easiest way to unblock it. Plus, I thought this would be the best way to combat my listlessness.

2. The World Series is tied at a game a piece. This, despite the fact that the Phillies have been more successful than the Rays at getting men on base. Philadelphia's problem has been leaving those runners on base instead of getting them across the plate. In just the first two games, they've stranded 22 men (compared to Tampa Bay's 7). If the Phillies want any chance at winning the championship, they need to get those guys home.

3. NaNoWriMo is nearly here and just the thought of the 50,000-word challenge fills me with dread because my recent track record of finishing challenges has been a complete disaster. I can't point to one success this year. It's disappointing. No. It's more than disappointing; it's unacceptable. It has created this cognitive dissonance between the guy I strive to be (someone who follows through) and the guy I've lapsed into being (someone who flakes). I need to get myself out of this hole. I tell myself NaNoWriMo could help, but my inner-coward (who is best friends with my inner-critic) keeps saying I'll only dig myself deeper.

4. When I saw this photo on Modern Hiker, it cracked me up...

For the next few minutes, I searched the web for other photos of walkable sleeping bag poses, but nothing compared to the first one I found on Amazon...

I understand and appreciate their practicality, but their Michelin Man appearance makes me snicker every time I see them. And now that I've said that, I kind of want one.

5. I just wanted to share another inspired print by the brain/talent behind Scary Go Round, John Allison...

I love the palette of the print and its mix of Halloween and Oz with a Scary Go Round twist. (First seen on his blog.)

Since the opening of the iTunes App Store, I've downloaded a number of free and not-so-free applications. While I was initially enamored with every download, time has been a useful sieve, separating the applications I actually use from the ones I thought I'd use. Here is a list of my Top 5 favorite iPhone applications:

• Remote (Free)
• Writeroom ($4.99)
• Pandora (Free)
• Wurdle ($1.99)
• NY Times (Free)

The Olympic flame arrived in San Francisco at four this morning. According to the Chronicle, there was "heavy police presence" to prevent anybody from messing with it, and nobody did because nobody in their right mind would be at the airport at four in the morning, especially after a late night of partying rallies, speeches, and vigils.

The flame was whisked away to an "undisclosed San Francisco location", which I took to mean "homeless encampment". Outdoor Community + City By The Bay + Heat Source = Olympic Spirit Safe Haven.

While most protesters will demonstrate peacefully, hold candlelight vigils, or conduct their own torch relays, it's inevitable that a radical faction will try to pull a spectacularly disruptive stunt like yesterday's banner display on the Golden Gate Bridge.

Because an attempt to extinguish the torch is a certainty, I thought it would be fun to make a "Top 5" list of creative ways the pro-Tibet forces could do it. These ideas aren't practical or realistic, but they aren't predictable or boring either. If people actually try one of these, I am not responsible for their actions (but I expect full credit for the idea).

1. Water Balloons: Previous torch attacks failed because the douser needed to be near the flame. The obvious solution is to launch a long-distance assault. A brigade of protesters could be strategically placed at the back of the crowd where they could fill and lob water balloons at the torch bearer. As long as the torch was within the "splash zone", a direct hit wouldn't be necessary. The balloons could be the color of the Tibetan flag and each could have a random message on it like "Free Tibet" or "To China With Love" or "Courtesy of Hetch Hetchy".
2. Tidal Wave: It's nearly impossible now, with so little lead time, but if protesters hadn't spent the past year focused on hanging banners on a bridge, they could have used that time to clandestinely install a tidal wave machine in the bay instead. I picture it playing like a scene out of The Lord of the Rings, specifically the one where Arwen takes Frodo to Rivendell by horse. To protest China's oppression of Tibet and Peter Jackson's deviation from Tolkien's books, Richard Gere could play Glorfindel, the actual character who rescued Frodo. If timed properly, it would look like he summoned the wave to wipe out the torch bearer and surrounding security team (a.k.a. the Black Riders). I doubt Gere's Elvish is as good as Liv Tyler's, but it would suffice.
3. The Butterfly Effect: Have a butterfly in Tibet flap its wings, thereby creating a tornado along the Embarcadero that would extinguish the torch. The trick would be finding the right butterfly. While in Tibet, a special team could search for the butterfly whose wings would cause the Giants to actually win a game.
4. Giant Straw: Taking a page from There Will Be Blood, each protester could smuggle in a big bubble tea straw. While the torch relay proceeded, the group could secretly connect the straws to create one gigantic straw that reached across the parade route. I don't have the technical details worked out, but it might be wise to have duct tape handy. Anyway, when the torch reached their location, the person with the largest lung capacity would huff and puff on the straw while everybody else yelled, "I BLOW OUT YOUR TORCH! I BLOW IT OUT!"
5. Deluminator: As a Plan B, elite teams should be sent around the globe in search of Dumbledore's Deluminator, the ultimate put-outer. Unlike my other proposals, this one relies on magic instead of physics, so it should only be used as a last resort.

Today was a company holiday, but I went to work (for the first half of the day anyway). I didn't do so out of an extra sense of duty or dedication. I did so to stay ahead of the game and ensure a good night's sleep.

I woke up at three this morning with thoughts of work floating across my mind. I tossed and turned for an hour before falling back asleep. Not exactly what I consider a fun or productive use of time. I'm hoping a few hours at the office today will prevent a repeat of that tonight.

While I wouldn't make a habit of it, working on a holiday proved to have some perks and revealed a few good reasons to work on the days when everybody else is gone. Here are my Top 5.

1. Less Traffic/Better Parking: It seemed like fewer cars were on the road (a likely combination of the holiday and Monday light). It made the drive more pleasant. I would have taken the bus, but I wanted to be able to leave early if I finished early. Also, when everybody else is gone, there are plenty of places to park. I'm not usually one who tries to grab the spot closest to the building, but I felt obligated to do so today.
2. Peace and Quiet: It was amazing how quiet the office was with only two or three of us there. I had gotten so accustomed to the constant chatter and racket, the silence was noticeable (and wonderful). It was also extremely conducive to getting tasks done.
3. No Interruptions: I didn't receive a single phone call or email and not a single soul stopped by my cubicle to ask questions or give me a fire to put out, which meant I could actually focus on the tasks at hand. It's almost miraculous how productive one can be when one's concentration is unbroken.
4. No Dress Code: Instead of dressing for work, I was able to dress to work. There was no need to worry about wearing slacks or dress shirts or ties. Nobody was around to judge what was proper attire or not, which meant I could wear muddy boots, comfortable jeans, and a long-sleeved t-shirt without feeling like a slacker. Today wasn't about appearance or pretense, it was about functionality.
5. No Hall Monitors: In every office, there are those who keeps tabs on when others arrive, take lunch, take coffee/bathroom breaks, and leave. I call them hall monitors. Luckily, on holidays and weekends, hall monitors aren't around to watch the clock, so if one wants to work through lunch, run across the street for a much-needed cafe au lait, or leave "early" because everything on the to-do list is crossed off, one can do so without being marked down.

Usually, when I'm hiking, I try to keep things low-tech. The only electronic device I have in hand is my digital camera. My iPhone stays safely in a pouch in my backpack. But yesterday, I began to think about ways my iPhone could possibly enhance my hiking experience.

For fun, I made a list of iPhone features or applications that could make hiking or visiting parks even more enjoyable. Here are my favorite five. It should be noted that some of these might already exist and a couple are tongue-in-cheek.

1. iCompass
It would be great if I could press a button on the screen and an arrow appeared, indicating magnetic north, if for no other reason than to confirm if my actual compass was telling me the truth. I know somebody has already created a simple compass application, but it has two limitations that are hard to overlook. First, it only works when the sun is out. Second, it doesn't work during Daylight Savings Time (or as the creator states "summer time is not supported"). In other words, it only works 25% of the year. That also means that if I got lost this weekend, the soonest the compass could help me would be the first sunny day in November.

2. onThisSpot
How about an application that determines your coordinates and then finds all of the geotagged photos and videos taken within a given distance of your current location? You could specify the provider (Flickr, Picasa, YouTube, Revver) and time frame (last 6 months, 1972, etc.). Of course, this could be dangerous around places like Glacier Point in Yosemite... "onThisSpot found 15,162,342 photos taken within five feet of your location. Display all?" A potential add-on to this program: onThisSpot: Seasons. As the name implies, it would show you what your location looks like during the peak winter, spring, summer, and fall.

3. The iDentifier
Instead of buying a thick booklet or several waterproof pamphlets, why not have an application that allows one to identify various animals, plants, and trees just by touching the screen? One would have to select the region and make the initial determination about the nature of the item in question, namely, is it an animal, plant, or tree, but once that hurdle was cleared, the program would help the user hone in on the ultimate identity. Of course, with my luck, the iDentifier would tell me something like, "You are looking at a common Poppy Oak Bear." Possible add-ons: track, scat, and bird call identifiers (just have the bird tweet clearly into the phone and the program does the rest).

4. Parkcasts
Not to be confused with Parkcast, a podcast that focuses on the issue of podcasting in national parks, but doesn't actually provide park podcasts. What I want to see are podcasts I can put on my iPhone or iPod that will enhance my experience as I visit popular points of interest in a given park. The best example of what I'm talking about can be found on Civil War Traveler, which offers battlefield podcasts for PDF map to carry with you, and enjoy a thirty-minute walking tour led by a park historian. Glacier and Yellowstone National Parks already offer podcasts, but it would be nice to see other parks podcasting, too.

5. ePassport To Your National Parks
How about an electronic version of the National Parks Passport? Instead of a 100-page booklet with a limited amount of space for stamps and stickers, have an application that allows the carrier to collect electronic stamps, images, or audio files as small keepsakes. The other benefit would up-to-date maps, park information, and photographs. This one came to mind because I'm always misplacing my passport or forgetting to have it handy when we're at a visitor center. I end up stamping a receipt and inserting it into the booklet after the fact.

1. Maintain a good posture.
2. Wear an easy cheerful countenance.
3. Constantly practice friendliness.
4. Speak distinctly.
5. Don't be overly inclined to give advice.
6. Don't be didactic.
7. Be a good listener. A good listener asks leading questions.
8. Be essentially informal.
9. One's success in any avenue of life depends a great deal upon his selling ability.
10. Don't take yourself too seriously.

Found on page 32 of Schulz and Peanuts: A Biography by David Michaelis. Originally printed in The Art and Science of Barbering.

According to Michaelis, these principles "established the professional tactics of Charles Schulz's entire career". They seem like good principles to practice, even if I'm not a barber or one of the world's greatest cartoonists.

I should begin by admitting defeat. I only read 49 books in 2007, 3 short of my intended goal. The cause of my defeat can be traced back to February and March, when I managed to read one piddly book over a two-month span. I made heroic efforts in May (8 books) and July (10 books), but they weren't enough. I plan to read 55 books this year to make up for last year's shortfall.

Of the 49 books I read, 33 were fiction and 16 were non-fiction. Only 4 were written by women and 3 of those were written by the same woman.

Who were the hot authors of 2007? P.G. Wodehouse (5), Terry Pratchett (4), Jim Butcher (3), J.K. Rowling (3), and Kurt Vonnegut (3).

While statistics are fun, lists are even better, so let's get to it. Titles in bold are my Top 5 Favorite Books of 2007.

1. Flashman's Lady by George MacDonald Fraser
2. The Highwayman by R.A. Salvatore
3. The Iraq Study Group Report by James A. Baker III and Lee H. Hamilton
4. Palestine Peace Not Apartheid by Jimmy Carter
5. The Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama
6. Goodbye to a River by John Graves
7. The Code of the Woosters by P.G. Wodehouse
8. Very Good, Jeeves! by P.G. Wodehouse
9. Jeeves and the Tie That Binds by P.G. Wodehouse
10. I Shouldn't Even Be Doing This! and Other Things That Strike Me as Funny by Bob Newhart
11. Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
12. Pudd'nhead Wilson by Mark Twain
13. Tortilla Flat by John Steinbeck
14. The Joy of Keeping Score by Paul Dickson
15. Requiem For An Assassin by Barry Eisler
16. Dispatches From The Edge by Anderson Cooper
17. The Old Ball Game by Frank Deford
18. Mother Night by Kurt Vonnegut
19. The Sirens of Titan by Kurt Vonnegut
20. At the Mercy of the River by Peter Stark
21. Wise Blood by Flannery O'Connor
22. Cannery Row by John Steinbeck
23. Battlestar Galactica by Gary A. Larsen and Robert Thurman
24. Watchmen by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons
25. Winston Churchill by John Keegan
26. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling
27. Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle
28. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling
29. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling
30. Holmes on the Range by Steve Hockensmith
31. On the Wrong Track by Steve Hockensmith
32. The Virginian, Horseman of the Plains by Owen Wister
33. Psmith in the City by P.G. Wodehouse
34. Flashman and the Mountain of Light by George MacDonald Fraser
35. The Last Season by Eric Blehm
36. Mike by P.G. Wodehouse
37. Mayflower: A Story of Courage, Community, and War by Nathaniel Philbrick
38. George Washington and Benedict Arnold: A Tale of Two Patriots by Dave R. Palmer
39. Making Money by Terry Pratchett
40. The Birth of the National Park Service: The Founding Years, 1913-33 by Robert Cahn and Horace M. Albright
41. Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer by Daniel Josephs
42. Strata by Terry Pratchett
43. Night Watch by Terry Pratchett
44. One Man's Wilderness: An Alaskan Odyssey by Richard Proenneke and Sam Keith
45. Blue Highways by William Least Heat-Moon
46. Storm Front by Jim Butcher
47. Fool Moon by Jim Butcher
48. Hogfather by Terry Pratchett
49. Grave Peril by Jim Butcher

For those just tuning in, it's 2008. I know. It came as a rather nasty surprise to me, too. One minute, at roughly 10:02 PM, it was 2007. The next minute, at exactly 7:27 AM, it was 2008. I thought I would be wide awake when we leaped into the new leap year, but the God of Sleep (and General Napping) had other plans, apparently.

I thought I would use this first post of the new year to briefly recount what I did during the last week of last year. To keep it brief, but interesting, I will limit myself to a bullet point summary.

• December 26 - Drove to Anaheim to visit M's friend and wander through Downtown Disney. (After a week in Disney World earlier this year, I was Disneyed out and didn't need to set foot in Disneyland.)
• December 27 - Visited Palm Springs and hiked in nearby Indian Canyons (more about that in a separate entry).
• December 28 - Drove home and succumbed to the will of the God of Sleep (and General Napping). Fourteen hours of driving over a three-day period (a sizable chunk through Los Angeles) was physically and emotionally draining. I don't think I could survive living in Southern California.
• December 29 - Pottered around the house and performed many domestic chores.
• December 30 - Drove to Yosemite. Explored and played in the snow-covered valley.
• December 31 - Spent New Year's Eve snowshoeing near Badger Pass (more about that in a separate entry, too). After an exhausting day, surrendered to the God of Sleep (and General Napping) two hours before the stroke of midnight.
• January 1, 2008 - Tried to avoid the drive home, but eventually did, due to a sense of obligation to work and the cat, but mostly the cat. (She expects to be fed daily and doesn't believe in sick days. She also has claws.)

A list of people and places that should work or be open from 5 to 9 in the morning and evening, instead of the typical 9 to 5, to make life easier for the rest of us...

• Auto mechanics
• Appliance repair people
• Doctors, dentists, and optimetrists
• Banks
• Libraries
• Post offices
• Department of Motor Vehicles

Is there anything missing from the list?

It feels like December. The mornings are chilly and foggy. Christmas decorations adorn lampposts and storefronts. Grocery stores have peppermint goodies stocked on shelves and a certain coffee chain is already using red cups and snowflake sleeves. When I walked by one of its many locations this morning, it was difficult to resist the temptation to go inside and order a cranberry bliss bar. I might not be so strong this afternoon.

If merchants and corporations are so eager for it to be December, I think The Powers That Be (TPTB) should eliminate November for a year, just to see how it goes.

• Coders at computer and software companies would have to work overtime to distribute patches for the change.
• Wristwatches with calendar features would need to be adjusted.
• The general public would have to get used to the idea that 11/9/07 was really December 9, 2007.
• Holiday listings would have to be revised (Veteran's Day - December 11, Thanksgiving - December 22, Christmas - December 55 (which could throw Santa for a loop), and New Year's Eve - December 61).
• People would also have to relearn Thirty Days Hath September.
• One's electric bill in December might look extra nasty, especially if one is a Christmas light fiend (as are so many of my neighbors).
• People who were November babies would suddenly be December babies, which might not sit so well with those who were born in the original month of December.

Of course, removing November could have a few positive repercussions, too...

• One would have one less house payment or month of rent to pay a year.
• Wall calendar publishers would only need to choose eleven photos, eliminating the need to pick that twelfth photo, which always seems to be a dud (and usually ends up in your birth month).
• Advent calendars would have 54 pieces of candy, instead of the typical 24.
• For television, November sweeps would become December sweeps and it would be twice as long. Imagine eight whole weeks where show producers and writers make a real effort to produce quality entertainment (or, at the very least, mildly amusing publicity stunts).
• And most importantly, NaNoWriMo participants would have 61 days to crank out their masterpieces. (820 words per day sounds doable!)

Despite that last upside, I'm glad nobody from TPTB has taken steps to eliminate November (that I'm aware of). The month might be gone in spirit, but not in name. Perhaps there will be a day when Thanksgiving and autumn will reassert themselves and take back the month that Christmas stole.

It's a contention of Heat Moon's -- believing as he does any traveler who misses the journey misses about all he's going to get -- that a man becomes his attentions. His observations and curiosity, they make and remake him.

- William Least Heat-Moon, from Blue Highways, p. 17.

This quote was tickling my brain this morning as I walked to work. I've been taking the same route for a few months now and in that time, I've slowly stopped noticing things without knowing it. The same buildings and trees (and people, on occasion) pass before my eyes, but I don't necessarily see them; I skim them. Today, I decided that had to stop. Instead of focusing on where I had to be and what I had to do when I got there, I focused on what was going on around me. Here is a short list of what I observed:

• The clock on the west wall of the tower above Starbucks is stuck at 7:48.
• The circumference of the average pant leg worn by the average college kid is two inches less than the circumference of the average college kid's leg. I believe this is known as performance enhancing fashion. The blood, unable to reach anything below the midriff, has nowhere to go but up to the brain, thereby boosting mental acuity.
• Both skateboarders I saw this morning were women. I wonder when that won't seem unusual to me.
• With two seconds remaining on the signal counter, a young man, wearing black baggy pants, an oversized white jacket, and a white baseball cap, entered the crosswalk without hesitation. He didn't look once at the three lanes of traffic waiting for him to cross. Maybe if he had worn tighter pants he would have had the wits to wait until the traffic had cleared before crossing against the light like the other kids.
• The marquee at Camera 12 claims they're showing THE HEARTBREA KID. I wonder how many people have gone up to the box office to tell them it's misspelled. I wonder how many have gone up and asked, "What is a heartbrea?"
• The hedge that lines Washington Square Hall is still in bloom with orange and red flowers.
• The biggest yawn I've seen in recent memory belongs to a tall, well-built guy, in his early twenties, with short blond hair and green eyes, wearing khakis and a bright yellow fleece jacket. He opened his mouth so wide, an overweight squirrel could have scurried inside without scraping its backside against his teeth. Of course, it wouldn't have had a chance to scurry because the guy's intake of breath was so strong and sudden, the squirrel would have been sucked in instantly.

Admittedly, none of these are earth-shattering or life-altering observations, but they still have value. They are the observational equivalents of practicing scales on the piano.

If I were serious about it, I would focus on one sense per day at first. Monday would be sight, Tuesday would be sound, Wednesday would be taste, and so on. And after I had mastered each individually, I would begin to practice them in combination, until I became so skilled that not only could I describe the sight of a man yawning, but I could also describe the sucking sound he made and the way the squirrel tasted, without missing a beat.

If a man truly becomes his attentions, he might as well have a little fun in the process.

Discworld is smarter (and funnier) than your average fantasy world. It doesn't merely defy fantasy and science fiction conventions; it pokes fun at them and pushes them around. It isn't simply fantasy with a twist. It's fantasy with a twist, a back one-and-a-half somersault, and a biscuit.

In his last few books, Terry Pratchett has shown that Discworld is smarter (and funnier) than your average real world, too. He has taken "real world" topics like revolutions (Night Watch), women in the military (Monstrous Regiment), the postal service (Going Postal), and racism (Thud!) and has explored them using one of the best tools ever invented: humor.

In his latest book, Making Money, he uses that humor to explore the seemingly dry subject of monetary systems. We follow Moist von Lipwig, the hero from Going Postal, as he takes charge of Ankh-Morpork's Royal Mint, tries to move the city away from the gold standard, and attempts to introduce its citizens to paper money.

In terms of other books I've read in 2007, I'm confident this will be one of my Top 5 Books of the Year. For those keeping track, I've only said that about two other books this year (The Virginian and The Last Season).

In terms of other Discworld books I've read, though, this wouldn't make it into my Top 5. If I were to hazard a guess, I would say it would be at the bottom of my Top 14. Havelock Vetinari (the Patrician) is in classic form in this story and the Glooper (a water-based economic model of the city) is hilarious, but they aren't enough to propel the book into my Top 10.

Just for laughs, here are my Top 5 favorite Discworld books...

1. Night Watch
2. Guards! Guards!
3. The Truth
4. The Wee Free Men
5. Hogfather

You can't tell by just looking at it, but that list took a lot longer to compile than I expected. The books I didn't include are giving me doleful looks and one is sobbing uncontrollably. I had better console it before it becomes waterlogged with tears.

With the fall television season well under way, I thought it would be fun to list the shows I'm watching (or not watching, in some cases). Instead of listing them in one big batch, I have broken the list down into easy to understand categories and added notes where appropriate...

Shows I Still Love...

• Bones - The cadavers still creep me out, but I stick around for the bickering between Brennan and Booth.
• Heroes - The chessboard is reset and new pieces (as well as old) are in play.
• How I Met Your Mother - Ted and Robin's on-again-off-again relationship is growing old, but the show still makes me laugh.
• Law and Order: SVU - My favorite of the L&O trio is still strong and I like the addition of Adam Beach as a new detective.
• The Office - Steve Carell, Rainn Wilson, and John Krasinski continue to make me laugh.

Shows I Once Loved That Now Make Me Cringe...

• Grey's Anatomy
• Desperate Housewives
• My Name is Earl

I don't know if the shows changed or my tastes changed, but in either case, whatever magic was there is gone.

New Shows I Wanted to Like That I Actually Like...

• Chuck - The show is worth watching if for no other reason than to see Adam Baldwin (Jane on Firefly) playing a tough guy in khakis and a green Buy More polo shirt.
• Life - Damien Lewis rocks as Charlie Crews

Shows I Have Been Actively Avoiding...

• Dirty Sexy Money
• Big Shots
• K-Ville
• Journeyman
• Ugly Betty

The last show on the list isn't going anywhere, but I'm hoping the other four disappear quickly so the fall replacements can fill their spots.

New Shows I Have Taken an Unexpected Shining To...

• Big Bang Theory - Before the show stales, I'm milking it for every laugh I can get. I also watch it for the theme song sung by Barenaked Ladies.
• Kid Nation - Watching 40 kids struggle and learn to establish a pioneer town in the desert is strangely appealing. Michael and Sophia are my favorites of the bunch.

Shows I Peeked at to Gain a Greater Appreciation for the Rarity of Good Shows...

• Gossip Girl
• Bionic Woman
• Cavemen

• To meet the needs of most modern people, the primary mode of transportation would have to be the horse and buggy or the horse-drawn carriage; each requiring one or two horses.
• People who drove SUVs would likely buy covered wagons that required four or more horses (or one elephant).
• Teenagers wanting the equivalent of muscle cars would hook four horses up to a buggy. They would probably watch shows like Pimp My Hooves and Monster Stable.
• Motorcyclists would learn to ride horses outfitted with chrome saddles.
• The equivalent of a Toyota Yaris or Ford Focus would be a donkey.
• People who liked hybrids would ride mules.
• Parking lots would have to be outfitted with hitching posts, water troughs, and parking attendants.
• In big cities, parking garages would be converted into multi-story barns.
• Gas stations would be feed and watering stations. There would be three qualities of hay: regular, premium, and unleaded (because folks can only handle so much change at one time).
• Fast food restaurants would have ride-thrus instead of drive-thrus.
• Mechanics would have to take crash courses in veterinary medicine.
• Auto dealerships would become horse dealerships. Domestic horses would have to compete with horses imported from Germany and Japan. To increase sales, Japanese horses would be advertised as being "Bred and Fed in America".
• At home, families would likely have to convert their garages or driveways into stables or pens.
• Those families you see with three or more cars out front could have six or more horses roaming their property.
• The DMV would have to change it's name to the Department of Horses or DoH.
• Instead of this video, David Hasselhoff would have made "Jump on my Horse"
• As for me, I probably wouldn't have a horse until I had received the proper allergy shots. In the meantime, I would be relegated to riding a bicycle, deriving what little pleasure I could from spooking horses by ringing my bell.

1. Arizona (Aug. 24) - Tomorrow, we're headed out for a short weekend trip to Arizona, somewhere in the vicinity of Phoenix. Hiking opportunities are minimal, but that hasn't diminished my excitement.
2. Season 1 of Heroes on DVD (Aug. 28) - The show returns for its second season in a month, which gives me just enough time to plow through this seven-disc set. I can't wait.
3. 3:10 to Yuma (Sep. 7) - It's a remake of a 1957 western film based on a short story written by Elmore Leonard. Russell Crowe and Christian Bale star in it.
4. Making Money by Terry Pratchett (Sep. 18) - Moist von Lipwig, the man who transformed Ankh-Morpork's postal service, will take on the challenge of printed money and the city's mint. Good Discworld fun!
5. Autumn (Sep. 23) - Cooler weather and less mosquitoes make it the perfect season for hiking. There are also fall colors to consider. It's one of my favorite seasons of the year.

Somewhere in the world right now,

• somebody just heard the news that Barry Bonds homered over the weekend to tie Hank Aaron's home run record.
• somebody else heard the news and couldn't care less.
• somebody still hasn't heard the news.
• somebody just asked somebody else, "What is a home run?"
• somebody thinks Bonds is the greatest baseball player ever.
• somebody else has no idea who Barry Bonds is.
• somebody believes Daniel Craig is the best James Bond ever.
• somebody else believes Daniel Craig is the best Barry Bonds ever.
• that somebody's friend just corrected him by saying, "It isn't Bonds. It's Bond, Barry Bond."
• somebody is thinking, "Mmm... donuts!"

It's Monday. The world is a wacky and random place. Enjoy every second of it.

I saw Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix last night. There wasn't a line to buy tickets, but there was a line for seating. By the time the movie started, every chair in the theatre was filled.

• The first ten minutes were the film's weakest. Once we left the Dursleys at 4 Privet Drive, the movie improved dramatically.
• The actors who portray Harry, Ron, and Hermione (Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, and Emma Watson) have matured and gotten better in their roles.
• Draco Malfoy and Hagrid had little more than cameos this time around.
• Filch was prominently featured, but had few lines. He mainly skulked, grimaced, and hung decrees on the walls.
• Neville Longbottom made giant strides in this film and received more development than any other character.
• The back story of Luna Lovegood was eliminated to save time, so the audience was presented with a bizarre blonde witch with a high-pitched voice and bare feet. She seemed to have a greater connection with Harry than Harry had with Cho Chang (Potter's highly touted love interest).
• Thankfully, two of my favorite characters, the Weasley twins, Fred and George, weren't eliminated from the movie. They were clever and mischievous and provided one of the film's best moments.
• The innocence and wonder of classes and magic at Hogwarts, as seen in previous films, is nearly gone in this installment. The closest it came to recapturing it was during the training meetings of Dumbledore's Army.
• The pace was brisk and had to be in order to cram 870 pages of book into a 138-minute movie. The screenwriter did an admirable job, but he sacrificed an awful lot of background to do it. Characters and concepts were presented without introduction, so unless one had previous knowledge, either from the books or movies, one had no idea what was going on or why it was happening.
• I was overjoyed to see the return of one of my other favorite characters: Remus Lupin. There is something about his genuine kindness towards Harry and something about the actor who portrays him (David Thewlis) that makes him incredibly likable.
• Quidditch was missing from the movie, which was disappointing.

Ranking this with the other Potter movies, I would put this one right in the middle, behind Prisoner of Azkaban and Sorcerer's Stone, but ahead of Goblet of Fire and Chamber of Secrets.

If you're familiar with the Potter series, I recommend this film. Although I'd suggest seeing a matinee if possible. If you're a Potter neophyte, then I'd suggest renting the previous films to familiarize yourself, otherwise you'll get little satisfaction from the movie.

I saw Ratatouille on Saturday. As soon as it was finished, I wanted to see it again. As with every new Pixar film I see, I was tempted to call this one my favorite of all time, but because I truly like it, I’m going to resist.

Instead, I’m going to envision how I will feel about it a year from now, and I believe when Time has had a chance to shake Ratatouille through the filter of perspective, it will be my second favorite Pixar film of all time.

• The Incredibles
• Ratatouille
• Finding Nemo
• Toy Story 2
• Cars
• Monsters, Inc.
• Toy Story
• A Bug’s Life

Ratatouille is another step forward for the studio. The artistry, animation, attention to detail, and storytelling are all levels above any previous efforts. Despite the fact that the movie is about a talking rat who dreams of being a chef in Paris, it felt more "real" than any film I've seen in recent memory.

The world the animators created felt so complete. In every scene, in every corner, there was a treat for the eyes. Gusteau’s kitchen was full of shelves, stoves, spices, pots, pans, utensils, and dirty dishes. The pantry was filled to the ceiling. When dinner service arrived, the kitchen was busy with a full complement of chefs preparing dishes that made my mouth water.

One of my favorite scenes was when Remy, the main character (and a rat), reaches the rooftop and discovers he’s in Paris. It's near sunset and the skyline is breathtaking. As the camera pans, one realizes and appreciates just how much time and effort the animators spent researching and studying their subject.

Finally, one of the reasons I loved the movie was the orchestral score that accompanied the film. Michael Giacchino, who wrote the music for The Incredibles (and Lost), created a musical feast for the ears. In parts, it felt as though the music came first and the action on the screen was a physical representation of the sound. It made the film feel dynamic and alive and it topped off what was a wonderful movie experience.

1. soda
2. feet
3. dialogue
4. animals in the road
5. tires

I changed my first flat tire yesterday. As far as locations were concerned, I couldn't have picked a better spot. M noticed the flat while we were parked at Asilomar State Beach in Pacific Grove, only a hundred feet from the Pacific Ocean. It was a sunny Sunday afternoon. Temperatures were in the mid-sixties and there was a mild breeze - ideal conditions for car repair.

The actual changing didn't take long. I simply lifted the car with one hand, ripped off the flat with my teeth, and threw on the spare. At least that’s the story I’m telling my grandkids in a few decades when jacks, lug bolts, and tire irons are obsolete.

Before dumping it in the trunk, I inspected the flat tire and discovered the source of the leak - a mean-spirited metal screw had punctured the rubber. It likely attacked the tire near the train station where a new apartment complex is going up; throwing itself in the middle of the road where it knew an unsuspecting wheel would roll over it.

Concerned the spare wouldn't survive the sixty-mile trip home, M called a few local gas stations to see if they'd be able to patch a flat on a Sunday. We thought none would and we were right. We enjoyed what is known as a hollow victory. Afterwards, we decided the next best option would be to drive to the closest Co$tco where we knew they serviced tires.

I thought there was a Co$tco in Monterey, but I wasn't sure, so we charted a course for Gilroy where we knew one existed with absolute certainty. We hopped on Highway 1 and crept at a steady 50 miles per hour, fearing the spare would blow if I drove any faster. Cars behind us came up fast and flew past. I lasted a mile before losing my nerve, and exited at the next off ramp.

We pulled into the first gas station we found and I asked the attendant if there was a Co$tco in Salinas. I didn't say Monterey because I didn't want to jinx us. The hedging worked because the attendant replied, "Yeah, there's one in Salinas, but why not go to the one in Sand City? It's just four miles down the road." I nearly jumped across the counter to hug the man, but there were strangers watching, so I simply smiled and said, "Thank you".

We got back on Highway 1 and inched our way to Sand City. It took a great deal of resolve to ignore the cars zipping by. I made a point of avoiding eye contact with the rearview mirror, which was eager to show me the mile-long trail of cars tailing us.

When we reached Co$tco, luck with us. The good people at the tire department were able to squeeze us in and get us back on the road with fresh tires in less than two hours.

There seems to be an inordinate number of movie sequels hitting theaters this summer. I thought it would be fun to list as many as I can. I've broken them into three groups - those I plan to see on the big screen, those I plan to watch on DVD, and those I refuse to see unless the fate of the world hangs in the balance.

• Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End - I'm curious to see what happens to Jack Sparrow and his crew.
• Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - It opens a week before the last book hits shelves.

• Shrek the Third - The first two were hilarious. The third might be, too.
• Spider-Man 3 - Critics have panned it, but I want to see why they did.
• Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer - Silver Surfer is one of my favorite comic characters.
• The Bourne Ultimatum - I probably should watch The Bourne Supremacy first.
• Rush Hour 3 - It will likely be awful, but it's Jackie Chan.

• Live Free or Die Hard - Why?
• Ocean's 13 - There's something about The Modern Day Rat Pack that annoys me.
• Evan Almighty - I'm a Steve Carell fan, so I might end up watching it anyway.
• Resident Evil: Extinction - Gore and horror just aren't my style.

• Very Good, Jeeves! by P.G. Wodehouse - A compilation of Jeeves and Wooster short stories. I revel in Wodehouse's ability to use the same formula (Wooster gets in trouble, Jeeves saves the day) to create so many fresh and funny tales.
• Jeeves and the Tie That Binds by P.G. Wodehouse - I was on such a roll that I had to read another Wodehouse novel before tackling another author.
• I Shouldn't Even Be Doing This! and Other Things That Strike Me as Funny by Bob Newhart - Part autobiography, part Button-Down Mind in book version. Both parts are entertaining. Newhart is an affable comedian who manages to disguise his sometimes subversive humor with his squeaky clean image. The book inspired me to rent the first season of The Bob Newhart Show, his hit comedy series from the seventies.
• Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut - Before his passing, I hadn't read a single word by Vonnegut. It wasn't that I was avoiding him; I just hadn't gotten to him yet. I'm glad I finally did. The story of Billy Pilgrim is one of my favorites of the year.
• Pudd'nhead Wilson by Mark Twain - While searching for Vonnegut, I came across Twain and decided it had been too long since I had last heard him tell a tale.
• Tortilla Flat by John Steinbeck - And since I was in the section, I grabbed one of Steinbeck's novels as well. Tortilla Flat is a somber story (with touches of humor) about a group of friends (paisanos) living in Monterey.
• The Joy of Keeping Score by Paul Dickson - A book I found at a local bookstore. Filled with great anecdotes, quotes, photos, and trivia about scoring and the game of baseball, it's what inspired me to try my hand at keeping score at the Giants game last week.

Even with my recent reading gains, I'm still six books behind. To close that gap, I'm going to be implementing a new project tentatively called Prime Time Reading. For an hour every night, between 8 and 11, instead of watching a television show or DVD, I'll be reading a book. Why watch an unappealing episode of The Real Wedding Crashers when one can enjoy a few engaging chapters of Huckleberry Finn instead?

I wrote this last Friday, but forgot to post it.

In the United States, there are 388 national parks. Of those, I have visited 14 (12 in California, 2 in Hawaii). Of those 14, there are four I'd like to visit again (Haleakala, Kings Canyon, Sequoia, and Yosemite). That leaves 374 left to explore. Even if I were to travel to 12 a year (one per month), it would take 31years and 2 months to visit every park. I imagine it's possible to cut that time down if I were to plan trips to particular regions to maximize the number of parks I saw.

To make this potentially monumental undertaking more manageable, it would be helpful to prioritize which parks I wanted to see first. It would also be helpful to set a few constraints. Let's stick with 2007 and California for the time being.

1. Lassen Volcanic National Park
2. Whiskeytown National Recreational Area
3. Joshua Tree National Park
4. Death Valley National Park
5. Channel Islands National Park

It could be possible to combine Lassen and Whiskeytown in one trip during the summer. The Channel Islands might be neat in the summer as well. Then, later in the fall, when temperatures are cooler, a combined Joshua Tree/Death Valley trip sounds feasible.

All of this is still in the early fuzzy phase of planning. Anything and everything could change. Right now, it's just fun to think about it. In the next couple of weeks, I should do some research on those parks to see what is possible and what is practical.

1. Pack a ripe banana in the side pouch of your backpack to prevent it from getting smashed.
2. Wear the backpack as you cross the street to work.
3. Cross the street with only five seconds remaining on the crossing signal's countdown.
4. Halfway across, decide it might be a good idea to sprint the rest of the way.
5. Feel something hit the back of your leg as you kick into your sprint.
6. At the corner, turn around and audibly gasp as you notice your banana lying helplessly in the middle of the road.
7. Contemplate running into oncoming traffic to rescue your banana.
8. Quickly avert your eyes and walk away as the oncoming traffic hurdles towards your banana.
9. After the onslaught of tires, look back and let out a celebratory yelp as you realize your banana has miraculously survived.
10. With renewed hope, run back to the intersection to save your once-doomed fruit, but then watch in slow-motion horror as a left-turning truck blows through a red light and smashes your banana, splattering yellow bits all over the asphalt.

1. Barry Bonds, Giants - Controversy aside, it's still exciting to see him hit one deep. Yesterday's splash hit brought back happy memories. This may be the last season fans get to see anyone hit those with any regularity.
2. Craig Counsell, Brewers - Counsell doesn't have the most impressive hitting stats, but his defense is incredible and I love his crazy stance. He one of those guys who gives the game everything he's got. He embodies what I love about baseball.
3. Greg Maddux, Padres - Maddux is just one of the finest pitchers out there. His control is still amazing. He's played for a number of teams since pitching for Atlanta, but I'll always think of him as a Brave.
4. David Ortiz, Red Sox - Big Papi is the heart of the Red Sox. It's fun to see him crush the ball, especially when the game is on the line.
5. Roy Oswalt, Astros - He's one of the most dominating pitchers in the game. It was tough watching him and Houston lose in the World Series two years ago.
6. Albert Pujols, Cardinals - He's off to a slow start this year, but I'm sure he'll heat up in no time. Like Ortiz, he's an intimidating player that can change the entire game with one swing of the bat.
7. Jose Reyes, Mets - I'm a fan of leadoff men like Reyes - guys who are excellent contact hitters and speedy base stealers. Whenever he's at bat, the intensity of the game rises.
8. Curt Schilling, Red Sox - I remember rooting for him when he pitched for the Phillies. The 1993 World Series was a painful affair to follow. Arizona in 2001 solidified him as one of my favorite pitchers, and Boston in 2004 pushed him to the top spot (and I'm not just saying that because he has a blog).
9. Ichiro Suzuki, Mariners - Like Counsell and Reyes, everytime I see Ichiro play, I'm reminded why I love the sport so much. He lives the game. Everytime he steps to the plate, it feels like he's going to make something happen. It's a thrill to see him beat out infield grounders and work the basepaths.
10. David Wright, Mets - He has been a solid hitter and third baseman for New York since 2004. He reminds me a lot of Matt Williams - professional, level-headed, hardworking, and likable. Plus, he's getting better every year.

You might have noticed that seven of the ten players I mentioned are National Leaguers. The N.L. is still my favorite league.

So, who would you pay to see play ball?

Abraham Lincoln was born on this day in 1809. While his birthday isn't a federal holiday (George Washington is the only president with that honor), it is a holiday for state government and some local school districts.

Of course, the federal government isn't letting the day go by completely unobserved. There will be a wreath laying ceremony at the Lincoln Memorial and a special celebration at the Library of Congress sponsored by the Abraham Lincoln Bicentennial Commission, a fifteen-member group created by Congress to commemorate the former president's birthday in 2009. The celebration will include a "Lincoln-themed" lunch and a special appearance "by Abraham Lincoln*".

The lunch sounds rather suspicious. "Lincoln-themed" - what does that mean? Will people be eating what Lincoln normally ate for lunch? Or will they be simply having dishes with corny names like "Second Inaugural Spinach Salad", "Lincoln Linked Sausages", and "Honest Abe Apple Pie"?

And why is there an asterisk after Lincoln's name? Are organizers afraid people will believe the Lincoln appearing at the event is the real Lincoln?

• The White House's Biography of Abraham Lincoln
• Abraham Lincoln Online
• The Lincoln Museum
• Lincoln Boyhood National Memorial
• A. Lincoln Blog

1. Temperance: Eat not to dullness and drink not to elevation.
2. Silence: Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself. Avoid trifling conversation.
3. Order: Let all your things have their places. Let each part of your business have its time.
4. Resolution: Resolve to perform what you ought. Perform without fail what you resolve.
5. Frugality: Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself: i.e. Waste nothing.
6. Industry: Lose no time. Be always employed in something useful. Cut off all unnecessary actions.
7. Sincerity: Use no hurtful deceit. Think innocently and justly; and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
8. Justice: Wrong none, by doing injuries or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
9. Moderation: Avoid extremes. Forebear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.
10. Cleanliness: Tolerate no uncleanness in body, clothes or habitation.
11. Chastity: Rarely use venery but for health or offspring; Never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another's peace or reputation.
12. Tranquility: Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.
13. Humility: Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

When I first read his autobiography a couple of years ago, I copied the list of virtues into my PDA for handy reference and gradually forgot about them. I don't refer to them as often or adhere to them as strictly as I should or as I imagine Franklin did, but I will use the great man's birthday as a reason to resolve myself to more actively practice them from this day forward.

It has always been (or at least it seems like it has always been) a family tradition to visit the theater on Thanksgiving to watch a movie. Although the family is gathering to celebrate the holiday (at the Santa Cruz Wharf), we won't be taking in a show before the feast this year. Chalk it up to the majority's disinterest in the current box office offerings. Maybe next year.

1. Stranger Than Fiction
2. Bobby
3. Casino Royale
4. For Your Consideration
5. The History Boys

Whatever your family traditions may be, treasure them. Happy Thanksgiving!

A true major league baseball fan would have his or her ear against the Astroturf every day, listening for tiny vibrations, those advanced warnings of players hired, fired, retired or traded (the non-rhyming member of the transaction quartet). Naturally, nobody has conducted a long-term study on the effect of constant skin contact with Astroturf, which is why I keep my head far away from the stuff. I'm not going to risk an ear shriveling up, turning green, and falling off just to learn, five minutes before everybody else, that the Yankees traded Gary Sheffield to the Tigers. It's interesting news, but not worth an ear.

1. The Oakland Athletics are moving to Fremont. I was ecstatic about the news until I learned the earliest the team would move to their new ballpark, Cisco Fields, would be in 2010.
2. Oakland's Frank Thomas will be playing in Toronto next year.
3. Oakland is interested in acquiring Barry Bonds. Can the A's convince him to play across the bay? And if so, does Bonds have enough left to linger another four years to play in Fremont? Does he even have enough left to put up Thomas-like numbers next season?
4. San Francisco's Moises Alou will play for the New York Mets next year.
5. Bill Mueller, who once played for the Giants and won a World Series ring with the Red Sox in 2004, retired and joined the Dodgers' front office.

The Top 5 things that made me laugh this weekend:

1. reading Big Money by P.G. Wodehouse.
2. catching sight of Nicole Richie's The Truth About Diamonds on the shelf at the bookstore. Curiosity may drive me to read it.
3. watching This is Spinal Tap.
4. seeing this duck at Target. I may just have to get one.
5. 1 vs. 100, the new game show on Friday nights hosted by Bob Saget. It's almost as hilarious as Deal or No Deal.

Last night, at the del.icio.us three-year + millionth-user bash I attended, somebody asked me what I blog about, which I must admit isn't something I'm asked often (or ever). So, of course, I had trouble answering it. I think I said something like, "Well, uh, at the moment, because the postseason just started, I'm writing about baseball, but I also write about hiking and stuff."

I suppose a better response (or at least a different response) would have been, "I write about life in general." If it catches my attention, piques my curiosity or seems worth remembering, I'll write about it.

Since quite a few things happened last night, it's all rather a mess in my head, so I thought the best way capture the parts I wanted to remember was to make a list.

• Last night was the regular blogger gathering at Barefoot Coffee Roasters.
• Elkit, Hank, Silvia, Kevin and Rich attended.
• According to Hank, Casa de Fruta, the monster-sized fruit stand on the outskirts of Hollister, hosts a Civil War reenactment every year. I hope to see it next summer.
• NaNoWriMo is nearly here. Elkit already ordered her NaNoWriMo shirt and mentioned there's even a special NaNoWriMo coffee blend this year. Now, all they need is special NaNoWriMo Skittles and I'm set.
• Due to the less-than-ideal furniture arrangement at Barefoot, a suggestion was made to hold one of the monthly blogger gatherings at the new It's A Grind near the Apple campus.
• Someone proposed a margarita night at Aqui in Willow Glen.
• Kevin highly recommended a podcast by Garrison Keillor called The Writer's Almanac.
• The de.licio.us event took place at the Yahoo! campus in Sunnyvale.
• I met a few friendly people - Andrew, Eszter and Richard - last night. (Since it was a del.icio.us event, I thought it more appropriate to link to their del.icio.us accounts rather than their blogs.)
• Rich and fling93 were also in attendance.
• I recognized some folks in the crowd, either from their blogs or their Flickr accounts, which reminded me of just how intertwined the various social networking sites are. The bees are busy cross-pollinating in this virtual garden.

That sums up my night and provides a relatively fresh sample of what I blog about.

Well, I've been having all sorts of fun tonight trying to upgrade the black box that produces this journal. After a series of errors and botched efforts, I think the new Movable Type 3.33 is finally running smoothly. The latest installment has fancy new features like tags and widgets, but I haven't had much time to sit and fiddle with them. So, if anything breaks in the next few days, you'll know why.

On an unrelated note, Sunday was National Punctuation Day. I would've never known if the Language Log hadn't mentioned it.

1. Lynne Truss. She wrote Eats, Shoots & Leaves, a book that champions proper punctuation.
2. Victor Borge and his phonetic punctuation. He would assign unique sounds to common punctuation marks and then read a brief passage from a story to show the audience how his system worked. The excerpt, no matter how serious, always turned out sounding comical. It's a lot funnier if you see it for yourself (it's a subdued version, but still illustrative). When I saw him perform it live at the Flint Center in Cupertino many years ago, I thought it was one of the funniest (and most memorable) parts of the show. His inflationary language sketch was also hilarious.
3. Allan Sherman. I remember listening to my grandfather's old comedy albums. On one of them, Sherman (the Weird Al of the 1960s) sang "Night and Day (with Punctuation Marks)", a parody of the Cole Porter classic. It wasn't as funny as "Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah (A Letter from Camp)", but it was mildly amusing.

It's the last day of the month and I'm 390 pages away from the end of the book I'm reading currently. Since it doesn't contain a lot of pictures or graphs, I'm going to venture out on a limb (a short, sturdy limb) and predict that I'm not going to finish it tonight. That means I can share the list of books I read in July. This month, I completed five more books, which puts this year's total at 29.

1. Flashman by George MacDonald Fraser (7.4)
2. Royal Flash by George MacDonald Fraser (7.7)
3. Generation Me by Jean Twenge (8.1)
4. The Killer Angels by Michael Shaara (7.5)
5. The Life of David by Robert Pinsky (6.2)

1. Quicksilver by Neil Stephenson (6.1)
2. Jefferson's Second Revolution by Susan Dunn (7.3)
3. Flashman on the March by George MacDonald Fraser (7.8)
4. The Last Assassin by Barry Eisler (7.3)
5. Fantasyland by Sam Walker (8.2)

Of the five, The Last Assassin (TLA) was the quickest read and Quicksilver was the slowest. Measuring time in espresso drinks, I was able to finish TLA in the time it took to drink two grande lattes, which isn't a knock, but a credit to the book considering it took sixty venti lattes to complete Quicksilver.

TLA is a great cafe read. Without revealing too much, I was glad to see Eisler's assassin return to his roots and make at least one death look like a result of natural causes, but I was sad to see one of my favorite characters pass away.

Jefferson's Second Revolution focused on the contentious Election of 1800 that pitted John Adams against Thomas Jefferson and resulted in the first peaceful transfer of power in history. I use peaceful in the narrowest sense of the word. Federalists and Republicans, the emerging parties of the day, waged a mighty war of words in the papers and in Congress that shook the very foundation of the Constitution, but they didn't actually kill one another.

I discovered Flashman on the March because Terry Pratchett mentioned that Fraser was one of his favorite authors. I actually read the last book in the series first and recently went back to the beginning. I just finished the first two books in the collection.

The book I most highly recommend is Fantasyland. In 2004, Sam Walker, a sportswriter for the Wall Street Journal, finagled his way into Tout Wars, one of the nation's elite rotisserie baseball leagues. What starts as an experiment soon becomes an obsession. To help him win, he hires a crack research team (including a NASA scientist and a psychic) and travels to ballpark locker rooms around the country to get the inside scoop and encourage "his" players. The book is infused with humor and is a great summer read for anybody who loves baseball.

• Panhandlers who emerge from dark doorways
• Panhandlers who recognize you
• Bus riders who like to discuss bible verses with complete strangers and by complete strangers, I mean me
• People who get you to sign a petition and then ambush you with eight other petitions (complete with clipboard and pen) they've somehow managed to hide from view
• People who don't blink
• More than speaking in public, the anticipation of speaking in public
• Magicians who ask for volunteers from the audience
• News reports related to terrorists and our preparedness for terrorist attacks
• World leaders who seek nuclear capability
• World leaders who have nuclear capability and plan to test a long-range missile
• World leaders who have nuclear capability, but can't pronounce "nuclear capability"
• Odd specks of an unidentified substance in my coffee
• Cups filled to the brim with hot liquid
• Sharp knives in the dishwasher (A long time ago, I slashed a finger reaching in for a spoon)
• Having to pass cars on a two-lane road
• Big rig trucks that tend to drift
• More than mosquitoes, the sound of mosquitoes
• Mosquitoes who can pronounce "nuclear capability"

1. England vs. Paraguay (1-0)
2. Trinidad & Tobago vs. Sweden (0-0)
3. Mexico vs. Iran (3-1)

I missed the United States vs. Czech Republic game on television, but thanks to the wonders of technology, I was able to follow a real-time feed of the game on my computer and see my country's team go down in flames while I worked. The best feature of the simulcast was the sound effect alerts. Whenever I heard the roar of the crowd, I switched over to see what minute the Czechs scored a goal against us. For the curious, the Czech Republic won 3-0.

Admittedly, I don't follow professional soccer with any regularity and I don't know why. If I were to rank sports I like, soccer would come in third, behind baseball and hockey. Basketball and football would round out my top five.

1. Limited substitutions. Each team is only allowed three substitutions per game. Unlike basketball, where coaches can replace players on a whim or players can choose to rest whenever they feel the need, soccer imposes consequences for changing the line-up. It forces teams to consider the optimal time to take out or bring in players. It recognizes the significance of fresh players with fresh legs that can spark a goal or provide a more vigorous defense.
2. No time outs. Time outs in basketball and football are intrusive momentum killers. Instead of trying to shift the momentum on the court or on the field, the coach tries to affect the momentum from the sidelines. In soccer, the players must shift it themselves, while the game is going.
3. The clock doesn't stop. When there is a foul, a penalty kick, a corner kick or a player change, the clock keeps running. None of it happens outside of the game time, outside of the reality of the game. If there are too many interruptions, the officials simply tack time on at the end of the half. Unlike football, where a sixty-minute game takes two hours to play, a ninety-minute soccer match really lasts ninety minutes.

One of the reasons I don't like soccer is the bad acting that occurs whenever players are fouled or believe they've been fouled. For a good ten seconds, they are in pure agony, sprawled on the ground, exhibiting enough distress to convince any reasonable onlooker that they'll never walk, let alone play soccer, ever again. Moments later, they're miraculously back on their feet, running around as though nothing ever happened. When little kids pull similar stunts, it's somewhat adorable. When grown men do it, it drives me crazy.

1. Go to Wikipedia.
2. In the Search box, type your birth month and day (but not year).
3. List three events that happened on your birthday.
4. List two important birthdays and one interesting death.
5. Post it.

• 1850 - Honolulu, Hawaii, becomes a city
• 1967 - Thurgood Marshall is confirmed as the first African American Justice of the United States Supreme Court
• 2005 - The 17th Street Canal in New Orleans is breached during Hurricane Katrina, leading to massive flooding and destruction.

• 1918 - Ted Williams, baseball player (d. 2002)
• 1972 - Cameron Diaz, American actress

• 30 BC - Queen Cleopatra VII of Egypt (b. 69 BC)

If you want to give this one a try, go for it.

I thought I would take a minute to list the books I read in March and April. I also thought I would use the same minute to rate them on a scale from 0 to 10, where 0 is "Help! My eyes! My eyes!!" and 10 is "I never ever want to stop reading this book. Never. Ever!" I could have said I would score them on a scale from 0 to 10, where 0 is bad and 10 is good, but that would make sense and, well, why would I want to make that? I would recommend anything rated 6.5 or greater.

• Had Enough? by James Carville (6.3)
• The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova (7.0)
• Feet of Clay by Terry Pratchett (8.1)
• A Preface to Paradise Lost by C.S. Lewis (6.0)
• Jingo by Terry Pratchett (8.5)
• Wedding of the Waters by Peter L. Bernstein (7.2)
• Misunderstimated by Bill Sammon (3.5)
• The Fifth Elephant by Terry Pratchett (8.0)

As you might notice, I've resumed my Pratchett habit. I know of no more entertaining way to read about discrimination, racism, nationalism (or jingoism), crime, war (the worst crime of all) and werewolves than to read a Discworld novel.

For over two weeks, I've been trying to get through Neal Stephenson's Quicksilver. The book is over 900 pages long and is the first of three in Stephenson's The Baroque Cycle. (I say this not to brag, but to excuse my slowness.) It's a piece of historical fiction set in late 17th-century England. The first quarter of it focuses on Daniel Waterhouse, a member of the Royal Society, who returns to England from Boston to try and settle a dispute between Isaac Newtown and Gottfried Leibniz over which of the two men invented calculus first. This book is like quicksand. It isn't a quick read, but I'm hopelessly drawn in and the only way to escape is to finish it.

• The Ring of the Nibelung by Richard Wagner/Andrew Porter
• C.S. Lewis: A Biography by A.N. Wilson
• Paradise Lost and Paradise Regained by John Milton
• Shopgirl by Steve Martin
• The Pleasure of My Company by Steve Martin
• The Pilgrim's Regress by C.S. Lewis
• Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris
• The Partly Cloudy Patriot by Sarah Vowell

Rich tagged me with this meme, so here I go...

1. Lost
2. Scrubs
3. American Idol
4. Grey's Anatomy

1. Library Assistant
2. Engineering Intern
3. Engineering Trainee
4. Engineer

1. Hong Kong
2. Vancouver
3. Vienna
4. Mau'i

1. Canon Powershot S40
2. Palm V
3. Yepp Digital Audio Player
4. AFLAC Rubber Stress Duck

1. CNN
2. New York Times
3. San Jose Mercury News
4. Major League Baseball

1. Yosemite
2. At a quiet cafe
3. Someplace overlooking the ocean
4. Appleland, I mean Disneyland!

Four bloggers I'm tagging:

Okay, I'm copping out and saying if you want to give it a go, go for it.

Last Friday, I finished my third book of the year, Sarah Vowell's Assassination Vacation. She packs this quick and enjoyable read with information, anecdotes and asides about her obsession with assassinated presidents and their assassins that inspired her "vacation".

Because we're in the middle of Blog Sweeps Week, here is a simple game that you (or your inner-child, age five and up) can play. I'll call it The President-Assassin Matchmaker, primarily because I can't think of a cute or clever name for it. Actually, with the number of times I've used the word assassin, this entry will probably pop up on some federal agency's radar, so it might be better to call this Match the Bunny Rabbit. The answers are at the end of this entry.

A. Abraham Lincoln (1865)
B. James Garfield (1881)
C. William McKinley (1901)
D. John F Kennedy (1963) [not in the book, but added anyway]

1. Leon Czolgosz
2. Charles Guiteau
3. Lee Harvey Oswald
4. John Wilkes Booth

From her writing, one can tell that Vowell is enthusiastic about her subject, unabashedly tossing in facts and details that typical people would discard as extraneous trivia, but fellow enthusiasts and those with any sense of curiosity would happily soak up like a sponge. She has a way of blending her knowledge of history with humor and pop culture references that I find appealing.

1. Stephen Sondheim wrote a musical called Assassins. It ran from December 1990 to February 1991. I can only imagine how disturbing it would be to watch actors portraying presidential assassins sing and dance. Would I want to see it? I don't think so, unless I was in one morbid mood.
2. Vowell loves plaques. I must admit to being fond of them, too. I like that they kindly remind us that an important event transpired or a significant building once stood on the very spot where we're standing. Whenever I spot one, I can't help but stop and read it. Plaques are more than markers. They're time traveling devices. I know it's dorky, but maybe one day I'll make a Top 5 list of favorite plaques.
3. The Robert Todd Lincoln (a.k.a. Angel of Death) Link. Lincoln's son stood at his father's deathbed, witnessed Garfield's assassination as his Secretary of War and detrained at the station where McKinley was shot only moments before. If I were a president back then and could connect the dots, I would make sure the man stayed as far away from me as possible.
4. The Story of Theodore Roosevelt's Assassination Attempt. His would-be assassin shot him at close range, but a fortuitously placed steel eyeglass case and folded campaign speech in his chest pocket slowed the bullet. He defiantly declared, "You see, it takes more than one bullet to kill a Bull Moose." He then went on to deliver the speech before rushing to the hospital to remove the bullet.
5. Vowell's religion is American democracy. In the book, she states that she doesn't believe in God, but she believes in our nation's system of government. She doesn't worship at any church, but regularly visits the Lincoln Memorial. Her journey to various historic sites isn't a road trip, but a pilgrimage. And she frankly states that our latest president has shaken her faith.

As a tangent from that last fun fact, I never really equated the belief in the principles of one's country with the belief in the principles of one's religion, but I can see the similarities. I know it's going to sound weird, but I find the parallels fun to think about. It tickles my brain to view our country in terms of devout or non-practicing Americans and our political parties as denominations of the same faith. In times of partisanship (or denominational division), as was evident during last night's State of the Union address, it would be nice if those in the room and those of us at home could refer back to a (yet-to-be-written) book called Mere Democracy. It would be akin to C.S. Lewis's Mere Christianity and would "explain and defend the belief that has been common to nearly all Christians Americans at all times."

As a final aside, it's apparently old news, but I only found out last night, from watching The Tonight Show, that Harrison Ford is currently shooting a historical drama about the capture of John Wilkes Booth. It's called Manhunt and is slated for release in 2007. After reading this book, I can't wait to see the movie, but I have a feeling that Vowell can't wait to see it even more than I do.

Answers (if they could be upside-down, they would be): A � 4. B - 2. C - 1. D - 3.

1. Sharing a long piece of red licorice with your dog will bring you prosperity, the longer the piece, the greater the prosperity. The catch (and there's always a catch) is that you both must eat the licorice at the same time, a la Lady and the Tramp. Tip: Giving your dog a breath mint beforehand is cheating, but recommended.
2. This year, picking up after your dog will bring you bad luck (especially if it's after eating the licorice). By doing so, you'll be scooping away your good fortune. As luck would have it, by picking up after somebody else's dog, you can scoop up their good fortune and add it to your own. Tip: I suggest wearing gloves when handling other people's fortune.
3. Dressing your dog in traditional Chinese garb, having his or her portrait taken by a professional pet photographer, framing the 24" × 36" portrait and hanging it on your front door will triple your luck and double your happiness. Tip: Pay no mind to the looks your neighbors give you. Remember, they're not judging, they're just jealous.

Happy Lunar New Year! Oh, and Happy Belated Birthday, Mozart (if you're reading this)!

1. 1776 by David McCullough. It's the captivating telling of one of the most important years in American history. It's a work of nonfiction that reads more like an exciting novel than a tedious piece of research.
2. Post Captain by Patrick O'Brian. It's the second book in O'Brian's well-written series of naval adventures featuring Jack Aubrey and Stephen Maturin. (Master and Commander was the first.)
3. Thud! by Terry Pratchett. Breaking away from history and historical novels, here was a book that made me laugh out loud. Pratchett balances between the critical and the comical.
4. The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman. This was the first book of His Dark Materials trilogy. It's a fascinating tale that stays in the realm of young adult reading without really touching on the darker, more religious topics the subsequent books explore.
5. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling. Like the other books on this list, I was unable to put this book down. There was a lot of hype around the sixth book, but unlike other hyped books, this one didn't disappoint.

Then he said to the man at the bus stop, "And that's why flamingos only dance the samba."

• "O Holy Night"
• "The First Noel"
• "Winter Wonderland"
• "Jingle Bells" (The Barenaked Ladies or Bing Crosby version)
• "Little Saint Nick"

• Coffee
• Skittles
• An MP3 player (loaded with songs) or your own personal rock band
• Every waking moment At least an hour a day
• A computer or laptop with a working spacebar and at least one functioning letter key
• A comfortable chair, but not so comfortable as to cause sleepiness
• Ten fingers (one minimum)
• One brain (half minimum)

The last book I read: The Swords of Lankhmar by Fritz Leiber
The book I'm reading: Master and Commander by Patrick O'Brian
The next book I'll read: The Golden Compass by Phillip Pullman

Three weeks ago, a l tagged me with a meme. It looked innocent enough, at first, but once I got into it, I found myself getting stuck repeatedly. Every other day or so, I would take a stab at it between reading and writing other entries. Don't get me wrong. I had fun. It was just well-paced fun. You are most welcome to try it yourself. I can almost guarantee that your answers will be more entertaining than mine.

1. sudden, loud sneezes
2. the alarm clock in the morning
3. some of the things I see and read in the news
4. books thicker than a brick with fonts smaller than should legally be allowed
5. people on the bus, especially those that openly talk about how they were just in jail for knifing somebody
6. clowns
7. my reflection (seeing myself in the mirror is the visual equivalent of someone jumping out from behind a couch and yelling, "Boo!")

1. a good story
2. a good laugh
3. a good hike
4. a good cup of coffee
5. a good tune
6. a good baseball game
7. a peaceful night of sleep

1. bed
2. pillow
3. blanket
4. curtains (to keep out the light)
5. alarm clock
6. television (in case the alarm clock fails)
7. door (for easy access to the other six important things)

1. I started drinking coffee during my third year of college
2. Dimes are my favorite coin
3. I find it easiest to work and write with instrumental music (classical, surf and trance) playing in the background
4. I've worn glasses since I was nine
5. If I like a piece of clothing, I will wear it until it falls apart from too many washings
6. Growing up, I never dressed as a ghost for Halloween. I think it was because we didn't own any plain white sheets and I would have been too embarrassed to be draped in Peanuts print
7. If I had to choose a favorite spot in Disneyland, I would pick the lakefront near the Golden Horseshoe Saloon in Frontierland

1. visit England
2. visit the Statue of Liberty and the Baseball Hall of Fame
3. visit as many national parks as possible
4. have a midlife crisis that doesn't involve a sports car
5. learn how to make great espresso
6. see Brian Wilson in concert
7. finish this meme

1. listen to the same song over and over again tirelessly (presently, it's "God Only Knows")
2. eat a half-gallon of ice cream in one sitting
3. read in most moving vehicles (without moving my lips)
4. fall asleep almost anywhere
5. wander through bookstores, REI and Target for hours without growing bored
6. get myself easily turned around on clearly marked trails
7. sit for an unhealthy amount of time trying to think of a seventh thing I can do when I'm pretty sure I'm capable of doing lots of things

1. burp the alphabet
2. be a telemarketer (at least not a successful one)
3. speak Klingon
4. run a marathon (yet)
5. wear velour (it's more won't than can't)
6. spell occasionally without saying, "one s," to myself first
7. whistle loudly

1. "Um."
2. "Nice!"
3. "Huh?"
4. "What?"
5. "What the -?!" (with variations of - being heck, hey and hooey)
6. "Dude."
7. "Good golly!"

1. Sandra Bullock
2. Sela Ward
3. Lisa Loeb
4. Ashley Judd
5. Kate Beckinsale
6. Audrey Tautou
7. Rachael Leigh Cook

Perusing the last few weeks of box office reports, the titles in the top ten haven't impressed me much. I think the major production companies could have saved some money if they had collaborated to make one monstrous movie called Bigalow, The 40-Year-Old Wedding Crasher of Hazzard.

Judging from recent trailers on television, it seems the only films out are brainless comedies and gory fright flicks. Maybe I'm mistaken. Maybe the companies producing the worthwhile movies are simply averse to advertising through mainstream media outlets. Maybe they simply can't afford it. Whatever the case may be, if they're out there, they're doing a fine job of hiding.

The only movie that looks anything close to appealing is March of the Penguins, but I'm of the opinion that a documentary, even a exceptional one with penguins and Morgan Freeman, isn't worth ten dollars. Don't get me wrong. I want to see it. I just don't need to the full "theater experience". I'm content to add it to my queue and watch it when it comes out on DVD.

Until then, either I can continue to rant about the slim pickings or I can be more positive and make a list of upcoming movies that have caught my eye. Let's go with the second option. Here are the Top 5 future features I want to see in the theaters.

1. The Chronicles of Narnia. The seven-book series by C.S. Lewis comes to life. I hear that it will be a trilogy, a la The Lord of the Rings, where Disney releases one installment each December.
2. Serenity. It's the movie adaptation of Joss Whedon's short-lived television sci-fi western. I hope the show translates well to the big screen.
3. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I'm curious to see how much the actors have changed since the last one. The plan is to watch the first three again over a period of weeks to keep the interest burning, but at the same time, not burn out.
4. Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit. They endeared themselves to me with their short films. Wallace is the wacky inventor who loves cheese. Gromit is his dog and the smarter of the two. They finally get their first full-length film.
5. King Kong. It has the potential to be campy and awful, but I'm hopeful that Peter Jackson will be as masterful with dinosaurs and a giant gorilla as he was with elves and orcs.

If I had written this yesterday, I could have started with the generic, "Greetings from Massachusetts!" But since I didn't write this yesterday, this will have to do...

Greetings from (yawn) California.

M & I just spent a week on the East Coast, leaving last Thursday and returning last night. To most people (and that was but a handful), I said I was in Boston, but we were only in the city for a day. We were in small towns, like Bedford, Dennis, Marblehead and Rockport, the rest of the time.

Thanks to the generosity of M's friends, C & S, we had a nice place to stay in Bedford. The only tradeoff was spending parts of our trip with a 3-year-old and a 16-month-old, which is not a bad tradeoff at all. Toddlers are amazing creatures (and I use that term because calling them human hardly seems sufficient). They have the ability to change from angels to monsters and back to angels in the blink of an eye, before you can call for help. They can melt your heart with a giggle and drive you up the wall with a wail. Now I have even more respect and appreciation for people who are parents. They are incredible.

• flew to Providence, Rhode Island.
• took the T.
• ate at Dunkin' Donuts.
• drank a Sam Adams at Cheers (the Bull & Finch Pub).
• was keenly aware of how difficult it is to find television shows suitable for young children.
• thought, "Too many lighthouses! Too many lighthouses!"
• put my feet in the Atlantic Ocean.
• did not shave for a week. (I now look like a survivor from Lost.)

I'm a few days late, but Happy August!

• Is this a perennial or an annual?
• Will it do well in my zone?
• What the heck is my zone again?
• Does it need full or partial sun?
• Is it drought resistant?
• How big will it be when fully grown?
• Will its colors complement my current landscaping concept?

These just aren't things I usually think about. According to the gardening book I borrowed, I live in Zone 14, but honestly, I think I'm living in The Twilight Zone. How else does one explain my sudden interest in P. Allen Smith, nurseries and Sunset: Life in the West? My world has become a very scary place filled with terms like dahlia, deciduous and deadheading.

• lavender
• coreopsis
• day lilies (yellow, white or orange)
• japanese maple (oshio beni or oshu beni)
• tulips
• delphinium
• plumbago
• roses (Heirloom, Mister Lincoln and Pearl Essence)
• bird of paradise
• a dwarf conifer, possibly a false cypress of some sort

The impatiens already in the yard will provide plenty of color as they grow and bloom, but I'm beginning to think they might be too bright and colorful for the garden I'm envisioning. They may eventually have to find a new home.

Besides visiting three nurseries, I bought an iron arbor with a gate and two side shelves. It will make a charming entrance into the garden. I will take a picture of it after it's been assembled. I still need to post a photo of the pavilion. Next tasks for the yard: pegging down the weed cover and mixing topsoil into the planting areas.

The first weekend of June zipped by and I find myself on another Tuesday morning train. It's hard to believe that a new guest will soon be residing at the Four Seasons Resort and Karaoke Bar. Spring's visit is almost over. Summer's stay is less than three weeks away.

I've been remiss about recapping my weekends lately. I haven't been much in the sharing mood, feeling as though the things I do aren't worth writing about, which is both true and false and also irrelevant considering how I recently spent two hundred words rambling about a bench. Therefore, just in case somebody asks and my memory fails, this is what I think happened over the last few weeks or so. I:

• Enjoyed a San Francisco Symphony performance of Handel's Water Music (along with Bach's Orchestral Suite No. 4 in D major).
• Saw Keane in concert in Berkeley and had a blast, but also felt somewhat dizzy after watching the most hyperactive keyboardist in the world dance and bounce around for an hour.
• Saw Star Wars: Episode III and liked it well enough. I believe Chewbacca deserved more lines and had better hair than Anakin.
• Read Explorers House, a great book about the National Geographic Society, which flourished under the leadership of Alexander Graham Bell, Gilbert H. Grovesnor and Melville Grovesnor.
• Visited Point Montara Fog Signal and Light Station. Note to self: Post photos.
• Attended my sister's graduation, had thoughts about returning to graduate school, but then the sugar rush from the Skittles wore off.
• Got a few bricks closer to finishing the backyard. The end is in sight (at least for the bricks).
• Spent a May weekend in Yosemite, a few days after the valley flooded. The tremendous runoff produced the most spectacular waterfalls I've ever seen. Note to self: Post these photos as well.
• "Hi. I'm Eddie. How do you like me so far?" Started watching the first and only season of Keen Eddie, a police comedy about an American cop in London, on DVD. Like Firefly, Due South and Brisco County Jr., it's one of those offbeat shows that died too soon.
• Attended a wedding shower in the city on one of the windiest days I've ever experienced. Luckily, I wore heavy boots.

I was going to write about Tuesday night's episode yesterday, but then I heard about the phone number debacle and the encore episode, so I held off. I then made the mistake of reading somebody else's recap of the show. It was roll-on-the-floor funny, but left me feeling untalented by comparison. So I had to wait a day to feel the inspiration to give my recap a go.

1. Hair. Everybody seemed to be having a bad hair show.
2. Ryan's t-shirt. All I remember was that is was red. Tight and red.
3. The tiny orchestra accompanying the rock band. I could see them. I just couldn't hear them.
4. Paula Abdul's inability to keep her hands and lips off of Simon Cowell.
5. Hair. It was so bad, I had to mention it twice.

Now, here are my thoughts on this week's performances. In the spirit of Whose Line is it Anyway?, I'll be giving out points, but remember, the points don't matter. Just like my opinions about these performances, they don't mean a thing.

As I watched Anthony Fedorov sing "I Knew You Were Waiting For Me", I wasn't really listening. All I could hear was this tiny voice in my head saying, "Good golly, if you close one eye and tilt your head to the right, he looks kind of like a blond Harry Potter." A thousand points for Gryffindor.

Remember, the points don't matter, so 1,000 could be good, bad or worth only 1,216 Canadian points.

After Carrie Underwood sang "Alone", Simon declared her the winner, claiming she would be the Best Idol Ever. I didn't see it. The only thing I saw was her hair, which looked like it lost a horrific battle to a curling iron and then went through a hairspray hurricane. 1,100 points after a 900-point deduction for the hair.

Scott Savol sang "Against All Odds". I'm not a big fan of his baseball cap or sunglasses, so when he tossed them away, I was actually relieved. 2,500 points for the crazy good voice and for ditching the costume.

Bo Bice sang "Time in a Bottle", the first Billboard #1 hit not from the eighties. I love the song. While listening to him, I forgot that I was watching Idol. 3,000 points for a sincere performance and song selection.

Nikko Smith sang Sisqo's "Incomplete". The performance was "just okay" for me. After a 500-point deduction for not singing the "Thong Song", 1,800 points.

Vonzell Solomon sang "Best of My Love". She finally seemed to get everything in gear. Not much else to say, but 3,500 points for an awesome performance.

Constantine Maroulis sang "I Think I Love You" by the Partridge Family (+500), which was unexpected (+500). He gave it a twist (+500), but it was a Constantine twist (-500). On the plus side, he still makes Ryan look like a midget (+300). It all equals 1,300 points.

Nadia Turner sang "Time After Time". When asked if she wanted a mohawk, Nadia should have said no, but instead of a simple no, she should have spiced it up David-Spade-style and asked for a nohawk or a nonytail or just her usual, ultra-cool afno. 500 points for the scary hair.

Mikalah Gordon sang "Love Will Lead You Back". One would think a girl who sounds like Taylor Dayne could sing Taylor Dayne. One would be wrong. It was the worst performance of the evening. Taking that into account, along with the Mikalah Factor, she receives -500 points.

Anwar Robinson sang "Ain't Nobody". It was a weak performance, which is hard to say since I like him. He had a few good notes, but they were utterly outnumbered by the bad ones. On the upside, he didn't have a mohawk. 600 points.

Finally, Jessica Sierra sang the sixth song from the 80s and the second from 1983. I don't know what it is about "Total Eclipse of the Heart", but I really dig it. I didn't think she did as much with it as she possibly could, but it was still darn good. 2,611 points, just because I can.

Tonight, I predict that Anthony, Nikko and Mikalah will be in the bottom three. And maybe, if the points can matter just this once, Mikalah will be going home.

This morning I woke up excited to go to work. It's sad, I know, but true. This isn't to say I'm not excited about coming to work every day, but today I happened to be doubly excited.

Yesterday, I spent the afternoon (and better part of the evening) moving into a new cubicle. Typically, that type of thing wouldn't emotionally move me one way or the other. Once one becomes accustomed to changing cubicles every six months, the whole business of boxing up belongings becomes rather boring. I've been a human ping-pong ball that has been bounced between two floors of the same building for the last five years.

Yesterday's move (a ping, if I'm not mistaken) was entirely different. Unlike previous moves, my new cubicle is 1.5 miles away from my old one. Moving required more than a hand truck. It required two trips using a personal vehicle and parking in a green unloading zone (thirteen boxes, one CPU and one monitor's worth of unloading).

1. I'll be working with people closer to my age, not my parents' age.
2. I'll have a shorter commute, four light rail stations shorter.
3. I'm closer to a wider assortment of restaurants.
4. I'm within easy walking distance of green, open spaces. It means I can escape to a park during lunch and read or get fresh air
5. Most importantly, there are at least six cafes within a quarter-mile radius, half of them bearing the Starbucks logo.

This excitement is, of course, tempered by a dose of sadness. I'll miss the old building that I called home for five years. Okay, I didn't really call it home. I called it the office, but let's not quibble about names and simply focus on the sentiment. I'll miss the day-to-day interaction with the cool people there. I'll miss the free parking. I'll miss the corner market where I bought Skittles regularly. And lastly, I'll miss Japantown, which was right down the street. Sushi (Kazoo, Minato) and Hawaiian food (Hukilau) were only a five-minute walk away.

Well, this is the stop for the new office. The time has come to see what the day brings and for the excitement to begin.

This morning, Penelope Illustration posted a list of ten things for which she is grateful and prefaced it with this description:

"I started doing this a long time ago, now. When you need
a pick-me-up, you write down 10 things you are grateful for
right off the top of your head. Don't think too much about
it. Just write them."

1. bus shelters that don't leak on rainy days
2. warm parkas with big pockets
3. my new moleskine pocket planner
4. programmable coffee makers and Beethoven's Blend
5. the music of Randy Newman ("I Think it's Going to Rain Today" is apropos)
6. a book that makes me laugh
7. text messages that make me smile
8. movies like Finding Neverland
9. the word perspicacity
10. chipmunks (because someone ought to be grateful for them)

I don't usually drink hot chocolate, but ever since somebody brought in a container of Nestle hot cocoa mix to make the office coffee more bearable, I've been having a cup every afternoon. It's sad how the quality of the coffee has deteriorated over the last few months. Anyway, besides avoiding bad coffee, part of my motivation to drink it drew from the fact that I recently acquired a bottle of Starbucks peppermint flavored syrup (clearance priced!). Nothing keeps the holiday spirit alive like a fresh cup of peppermint hot chocolate in January.

Today is the first Friday of 2005. It's a little hard to believe that a week of the new year is now in the history books (or electronic archives). That seems awfully quick, as though whoever is in charge of spinning the world put something extra on the first few revolutions.

This post wasn't intended to be about hot chocolate or marveling at how fast time passes. It was supposed to be about my resolutions, but I was at a loss and couldn't think of a single one, not because I couldn't find any areas for improvement, but because I found too many. For guidance and a starting point, I looked at what others resolved to do in the new year, which is my way of explaining why a few of these might look familiar to some of you.

1. eat healthier and drink more water
2. learn to cook edible dishes
3. set and keep an exercise routine
4. volunteer more
5. read and write daily
6. clean, cleanse and organize my place
7. update this journal every day (or at least 365 times this year)
8. continue to step outside of my comfort zone
9. be more patient, mature and considerate
10. save money for long-term dreams (travel, art, a cabin)

First, I wanted to send out a belated happy holidays and happy new year to those of you checking in to see if this place has been updated recently. For those hoping there wouldn't be an update, my apologies. I hope everybody had a wonderful time with loved ones, celebrated safely and received everything they asked for on their Amazon wish lists and more.

Eleven days away from the computer is a long time in blog terms (both in writing and reading). My absence coincided with the company's winter furlough, which happens every year and is the adult equivalent of winter break. During the furlough, the office shuts down and employees are required to take time off. To ensure no one comes to work, the company locks the doors and turns off the heat. Okay, that's not true, but those who want to dwell in their cubicles during the holidays must have written permission from their supervisor.

• celebrated Christmas with family
• had Chinese dinners on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day
• received very thoughtful gifts, including dress socks from Fluffy, the family dog (who knew he had disposable income?)
• drove down to Anaheim for a short road trip
• visited Hearst Castle in San Simeon
• visited Disneyland and California Adventure for a second time in one year
• gawked at Christmas decorations in the castle and parks
• got soaked in Southern California
• rode a roller coaster in the rain
• drove back to the Bay Area in the rain
• came down sick
• drove up to Sacramento a day after the road trip
• picked a person out of a police photo line up
• got a call from the auto body shop saying the repairs were finished
• medicated myself and slept
• went to dim sum with the family on New Years Eve
• medicated myself and slept some more
• watched The Rocketeer and Jay Leno on a (thankfully) quiet New Years Eve
• drank more soup and jok in a four-day period than ever before
• watched parts of a Monk marathon while recovering
• didn't drink coffee for three days (three whole days)
• failed to write my 2005 resolutions (but will soon)
• watched Dodgeball (for the third time) and The Terminal
• slept like it was going out of style

There are photos to share and bullet points to expand on, but I'm out of writing time. I'm off to find a hot cup of coffee.

A couple folks plan to use their Christmas breaks to catch up on movies. They created lists of the films they plan or hope to see during their time off, which inspired me to come up with two lists of my own.

1. Sideways
2. Finding Neverland
3. A Very Long Engagement
4. House of Flying Daggers
5. The Aviator
6. Motorcycle Diaries
7. Closer
8. De-lovely
9. Million Dollar Baby
10. National Treasure

1. Meet the Fockers
2. Alexander
3. Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
4. Christmas With the Kranks
5. Fat Albert

National Treasure originally started on the list of movies I want to avoid, but when I wasn't looking, my curiosity allowed it to sidle over to the first list, tap Napoleon Dynamite on the shoulder and shove that film into its locker.

Outside has grown dark and cold. As the sun sets, trees of green begin to look black. Streetlights appear between branches. Red lights atop high rises begin to mark the nighttime horizon as planes carrying Thanksgiving travelers descend into Mineta International Airport.

The sky is now dark purple and fluorescent lights from my cubicle reflect in the window, making the city difficult to see. It won't be long before I'm amongst the high-rises, having dinner and partaking in pre-Thanksgiving festivities.

• Boston winning the World Series
• another season of The Amazing Race
• Pixar
• Keane
• The Sims 2
• spam filters
• the snooze button
• Yosemite
• Salzburg
• penny machines (those machines where you pay fifty cents so it can have its way with your perfectly shiny penny and make it pretty, but worth less than a penny)

This list was assembled on the fly, but I'm satisfied with it. Happy Thanksgiving!

• is an early riser and late sleeper, but doesn't mind sleeping in now and then.
• loves to explore, but isn't adverse to relaxing at a sidewalk cafe.
• prefers not to rush, but can rush when needed.
• knows what he or she wants.
• can compromise.
• can stand in awe for a moment before taking a photo.
• can sometimes just stand in awe.
• is curious, patient and trustworthy.
• is willing to try the local cuisine.
• can appreciate the architecture and landscape.
• can set aside an hour for napping when the other isn't feeling well.
• knows how to plan, but doesn't panic when the plan goes awry.
• doesn't mind getting lost.
• can think on his or her feet.
• has common sense and a sense of humor.

Certainly, it's an incomplete list, probably missing some crucial qualities, but it's a start. Sometimes, being a good travel companion is difficult. Sometimes, being one is the easiest thing in the world. Traveling, by its nature, is fun with a high potential for stress. There are places to be and things to see on a tight budget of time and money. The stress only increases when traveling with the wrong person.

During our first night in Vienna, my travel companion and I went on a dining expedition down Wipplingerstrasse, a street we would walk many times during our stay. Intent on finding restaurant signs and menus in windows, my eyes were blind to the streets and alleys we passed along the way. Four or five blocks into our journey, she stopped me and pointed down a narrow street off to our left. Tucked behind a row of buildings stood Maria am Gestade, the beautifully lit church in the photo. It was one of many occasions where, if not for her, such a sight would have gone unseen. A good companion spots what the other overlooks.

Through the bad times, they can make everything more tolerable. During the good times, they can make the experience that much better. If any the listed traits make someone a good travel companion, then mine was a good one indeed.

1. Everwood
2. Scrubs
3. Smallville
4. Lost
5. The Mountain

Another show that looks like it could be good for a laugh is the WB's Drew Carey's Green Screen Show, which features most of the cast from Whose Line is it Anyway? as well as some new improvisational blood. The concept sounds interesting, but I wonder how well the group can pull it off.

1. On Friday, I had breakfast for lunch.
2. I have to believe IHOP is one of the greatest restaurants on the planet.
3. I had dinner at Amici's in Mountain View.
4. And ordered a pizza called the Greek Isle (feta, mozzarella, artichoke hearts, sun-dried tomatoes).
5. Partly because it sounded tasty. Partly as a feeble tribute to the Olympics.
6. Vanderlei De Lima, the Brazilian runner who was leading the marathon until he was attacked three miles from the finish line, is my hero. He won the bronze medal.
7. This is supposed to be a list of thirty things about me.
8. I apparently have a short attention span.
9. And can be easily sidetracked by the simplest...
10. I'm wearing a shirt and tie today at work.
11. I'm not "surrendering to the system", just pretending to act my age.
12. This is my first day as a thirtysomething.
13. I never saw the television show. Maybe it could give me pointers how to act my age.
14. To honor me a day early, Athens blew out a giant candle.
15. Technically, they "extinguished the Olympic torch", but let's not quibble over semantics.
16. To help me celebrate, the GOP is throwing a four-day long party in New York City.
17. The Dems jumped the gun and partied a month ago in Boston.
18. Items 14-17 display a shamefully egocentric view of world events.
19. Now I feel guilty and bad for writing them.
20. Yet not remorseful (or creative) enough to delete them and come up with something more modest.
21. On Saturday, I attended a wedding in Portola Valley.
22. One wall of the church was all glass and looked out upon a beautiful green forest.
23. I was the only guy in attendance wearing brown boots.
24. If I said I didn't imagine how I would like my own wedding to be one day, I'd be lying.
25. If I were ever to be married, I wonder how much say I would have in the whole process.
26. Besides the qualities listed in Item 8 and 9, I have a tendency of getting ahead of myself.
27. On Sunday, I was lucky enough to see Movin' Out in San Francisco.
28. It was an amazing show that reminded me why I love Billy Joel's music.
29. I wanted to say something incredibly cheesy here, but that's just not me.
30. Okay, who am I kidding? I'm extremely cheesy, but thankfully, this list only goes up to thirty.

Oy! This is a late entry for a Friday. I really shouldn't be anywhere near a computer with internet access, but I'm in limbo. Typically, I would be on my way home, but I'm heading up to Mountain View for dinner later tonight. It seemed stupid to drive 24 miles south, hang out for an hour at home and then drive 37 miles north. Since I recently decided to start reducing my stupidity, that idea was tossed.

I contemplated seeing a movie, but realized that anything I wanted to see would cause me to be late. The only movie that worked within the given timeframe was Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2. Luckily, I had my stupidity-reduction decision to save me from it. I then nixed a slew (or slue) of other bad ideas and that's why I'm sitting here typing what you're reading (or skimming or possibly pretending to read to impress your friends).

1. Hero
2. The Motorcycle Diaries
3. Napoleon Dynamite
4. De-lovely
5. Before Sunset

I watched Hero on DVD and it was a feast for the eyes on the small screen. I can only imagine how beautiful it will look in the theater. I caught the trailer of The Motorcycle Diaries when I saw Garden State. It's based on the journals kept by Che Guevara and Alberto Granado as they crossed South America by motorcycle.

Over the last few weeks, I've been growing more fascinated with how people chronicle their travels. I think it began after I listened to A Walk in the Woods, which recounts Bill Bryson's attempt to hike the entire Appalachian Trail, "a 2,174-mile footpath" according to the National Park Service.

Shortly after finishing that audio book, I stumbled upon The Great Sitting, a site created by two guys who planned to cycle from California to Maine and blog their thoughts and progress as they crossed the nation. Jeff and Mike completed their two-month trek this week.

The Adventure Journalist is currently blogging about her family's 40-day, 12,000-mile road trip around the United States. This is Day 6 of their journey. I like her writing style and photos. It's exciting (to me, at least) to follow along. Each day reveals another part of their story on the road.

I'm out of time. Have a great weekend everybody. If this is Saturday or Sunday and you're still reading this, stop now, go outside and play! I mean it. Go!

a.k.a. "In the Last Five Minutes I Heard..."

• the stairway door slam
• footsteps across pavement
• leaves rustling
• mumbled voices coming from a parked car
• a car engine start
• the store door chime twice
• "Hello."
• a microwave beep
• the wrapper crinkle
• the cash register ring
• the receipt print out
• the cash drawer open
• "A dollar ten, please. Ten cents."
• coins and keys jingle
• "Thank you."
• the store door chime twice more
• birds chirping
• a rock skitter across the sidewalk
• a train horn in the distance
• a van door slide shut
• a car trunk slam
• a paper bag crinkle
• car brakes squeak
• a banging hammer
• footsteps on brick
• the walk tone of a crosswalk signal
• the ding of the elevator
• the elevator doors open
• the wrapper tear open
• Skittles pour into my palm, then into my mouth
• "Mmm... good!"

Over the Fourth of July weekend, I went camping and hiking in the Cedar Grove area of Kings Canyon. Last year, I recounted the trip by numbers and had so much fun, I thought it would be amusing to do again. Because I'm a statistics freak, the previous trip's tally is given in parentheses for comparison purposes.

Price for a gallon of gas: $2.19 ($2.09)
Hours spent in the park: 69 (45)
Miles hiked: 41 (18)
Hiking companions: 2 (2)
Number of times lost: 2 (3)
Waterfalls seen: 3 (5)
Bears seen: 0 (0)
Deer seen: 2 (2)
Liters of water consumed on the trail: 6.5 (7)
Liters of Gatorade consumed: 3.5 (2.5)
Number of pictures taken: 176 (198)
Number of times hearing Kylie Minogue's "Can't Get You Out of My Head" : 3 (5)
Rattlesnakes seen: 1
Cost of a ten-minute shower: $2.50
Number of showers: 3
Number of Clif Bars eaten: 8.5
Cumulative elevation gained during hikes (in feet): 10,800
Number of lovely mosquito bites received: 12
Number of shooting stars seen: 2
Price of a cup of hot coffee: $1.75
Minutes needed to become cold coffee: 5

This visit was better than the last one, even with the bug bites and a brief thunderstorm. Admittedly, there were a few moments when I felt less than patriotic for missing the weekend's typical barbecue and firework fanfare. However, as I walked through our campground and spotted sites decked out in the red, white and blue, I took a little time to give thanks and remember those who fought and sacrificed for the freedoms I enjoy today.

1. "Warmth of the Sun" by The Beach Boys
2. "Island in the Sun" by Weezer
3. "Soak Up the Sun" by Sheryl Crow
4. "Sunshine on My Shoulders" by John Denver
5. "Walking on the Sun" by Smash Mouth

1. Saw Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban in my town's recently renovated theater.
2. David Thewlis was endearing as Professor Lupin, the latest Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.
3. Productively spent four hours finishing the backyard brickwork while waiting for a phone call that never came.
4. "All in all, not bad, not bad at all." - Ronald Reagan
5. Smarty Jones was that close to winning the Triple Crown.
6. Inadvertently found a CD, missing for three months, in a random DVD case.
7. Had the most delicious Kahlua Cream Cheese pie (with chocolate cookie crust) from Marie Callendar's.
8. Spent another beautiful (but brief) day on Angel Island.
9. After the short hike, rewarded myself with a cup of Cinnabon Flavored coffee.
10. The best car conversations shrink the miles and expand the mind.
11. Greg Kinnear does a perfect impression of Ted Koppel in Stuck on You.
12. I've never laughed so hard at somebody dressed as a giant teddy bear.

Every once in a while, it's fun to go archive diving. Driven by random curiosity, I wonder what people wrote X years ago on this day. One could probably describe, at great length, what is so fascinating about delving through past musings, but that isn't the point of this post. I recently stumbled across something daydreamy wrote two years ago. Inspired by LuckyKat, she compiled a list of the 25 most influential books in her life.

1. Greek Gods and Heroes by Robert Graves
2. Lord of the Flies by William Golding
3. Lost Horizon by James Hilton
4. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
5. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
6. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
7. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest by Jack Kerouac
8. The Complete Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle
9. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
10. Sez Who? Sez Me by Mike Royko
11. The Natural by Bernard Malamud
12. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
13. The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
14. Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
15. Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
16. Curtain by Agatha Christie
17. The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan
18. The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri
19. Walt Disney by Bob Thomas
20. The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand
21. The Art of War by Sun Tzu
22. On the Good Life by Cicero
23. Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett
24. Walden by Henry David Thoreau
25. This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald

1. I once wrote a song about Will Clark leaving the San Francisco Giants.
2. I can't tell a joke to save my life.
3. Amongst other things, I wanted to be a Disney Imagineer when I grew up.
4. At one time, I considered majoring in political science.
5. I've eaten a half-gallon of ice cream in one sitting.
6. For what it's worth, I have an MBA.
7. I started drinking coffee during my junior year in college.
8. I have no aunts or uncles.
9. My first job was as a student assistant in the periodical section of the university library.
10. When humming absent-mindedly, I tend to lapse into "High Enough" by Damn Yankees.

1. baseball
2. figure skating
3. hockey
4. college football
5. college basketball
6. soccer
7. beach volleyball
8. Winter Olympics (speed skating, skiing, luge and curling)
9. Summer Olympics (track and field, swimming)
10. The X Games (snowboarding, skateboarding, rollerblading)

If money weren't a factor, I would watch as many baseball games as possible at the ballpark. Unfortunately, money is always a factor and ticket (and parking) prices won't be coming down any time soon. The season starts again in just three weeks.

Of the ten sports or events listed, I've only seen the first six in person. I would love to attend the Olympics. If I had to choose one, it would be the Winter Games. The next one will be held two years from now in Torino, Italy. In two days, the Olympic flame will be lit for Athens 2004. It's something to look forward to this coming August.

This site inspired me to write my own list of things I always do or always try to do for one reason or another (or for no good reason at all)...

I always sit one seat in from the aisle when watching movies alone. It just feels safer.

I always turn on the stereo as soon as I get home. Otherwise, the house is much too quiet.

I always write my Zs with a horizontal line through them.

I always change the station whenever a Dave Matthews, Lenny Kravitz or Vanessa Carlton song comes on. They are likely nice and talented artists, but something about them irks me.

I always eat Skittles in the same color order: yellow, green, purple, orange and red.

I always have the alarm television set to NBC11, so when it comes on, I can watch Christine Nubla deliver the traffic report.

At home, I always pour the sugar and milk into the cup before I pour the coffee.

I always roll up my sleeves when wearing long-sleeved shirts.

I always climb stairs two steps at a time

I always end up writing about one thing (like this list), when I should be writing about something else entirely (like Cinequest).

Songs about shaking things have been around a long time. Elvis had "Shake a Hand" and Pam Tillis sang "Shake the Sugar Tree". The Beatles, U2 and others have sung about it, but shaking things that shouldn't be shaken seems to be a recent phenomenon.

A couple of people have mentioned that Polaroids need no shaking, contrary to what the catchy (and now overplayed) Outkast song recommends.

On Tuesday's episode of The Ellen DeGeneres Show, William Hung sang "Shake Your Bon Bon". It might have been better if his bon bon had remained unshaken.

Then, on yesterday's installment of Ellen, J.C. Chasez, of *NSYNC, sang about shaking soda. It won't take long for Coke and Pepsi to issue statements reminding people not to do that to their carbonated drinks.

1. snow globes
2. spray cans
3. a stick
4. tambourines
5. a salt shaker (it's even in the name)
6. Gatorade (product placement is key in today's songs)
7. an Etch-a-Sketch (retro products are even better)
8. Shakira's hips
9. a leg (unless it isn't yours)
10. a present (unless it contains a rattlesnake)

For your own amusement, imagine Barry White reading the title of this entry aloud.

The long weekend brought together two closely related days: Valentine's Day and President's Day. I hope that if you didn't have a sweetheart to shower with cards, roses or fragrant fruitcakes, you at least showed your favorite president some love. Calvin Coolidge, the 30th president, was the object of my affection this year.

1. Hung out at the Bamboo Lounge on Friday.
2. Had breakfast, slept in and then had second breakfast on Saturday.
3. Fiddled with the journal's banner and colors. Brown is the new blue.
4. Watched Waiting For Guffman. "This Bulging River", a song included as a deleted scene, was hilarious.
5. Was mildly entertained by Johnny English.
6. Was surprised the Yankees acquired A-Rod.
7. Joined the family to celebrate my dad's birthday.
8. Learned how to play 501 on his new magnetic dartboard.
9. Treated him to dinner at Hukilau.
10. From our table, we caught a glimpse of a Day of Remembrance candlelight procession through San Jose's Japantown.
11. Had hot taro milk tea at Verde Tea & Espresso Bar. They had a S.H.E. karaoke DVD playing on repeat.
12. Monday's bowling scores: 133, 148, 156.

• "Words Like Rain" by Maya Marin
• "Only Happy When It Rains" by Garbage
• "Here Comes the Rain" by The Mavericks
• "Rain" by Dana Glover
• "Day Without Rain" by Enya

1. The O.C.
2. Monk
3. The Bachelorette
4. American Idol 3
5. Everwood

On The Bachelorette, I enjoy observing the little interactions and exchanges between the bachelors and Meredith as they vie for her affection. I search for clues during the rose ceremony as though something can be gleaned from a sparkle in her eye, the way she smiles or her inflection as she says a bachelor's name. Although Rick, a.k.a. Mr. Happy Feet, received the white rose, I'm rooting for Chad and Lanny to win her heart.

• Fallen - Evanescence
• Meteora - Linkin Park
• Waking Hour - Vienna Teng
• The All-American Rejects - The All-American Rejects
• More Than You Think You Are - Matchbox Twenty

While hanging out with T in Seattle, he said some of the funniest things. At first, I didn't notice it, but a pattern slowly emerged over the three days I spent with him.

• "I think that's our bus. We better run for it."
• "Have you seen my camera?"
• "Have you seen the paper?"
• "Have you seen my phone?"
• "The station is a minute away and we have five. Don't rush."
• "Oops. There's the bus. Run for it!"
• "I have an awful whispering voice."
• "It was free acupuncture. He offered to put needles in my ear."
• "Can you find some gloves?"
• "Can you find some knives?"
• "Here. Can you put these knives in your bag?"
• "Hey! Can you pick up that ear?"
• "There's the bus. Run for it!"

The bus quote became our "Geronimo!" and our bus chases are now some of my fondest memories of Seattle.

This is the fourth and final day of my wickedly long weekend. My folks will be coming down to pick up my houseguest for breakfast and a visit to Carmel and Monterey. I should be working on some voluntary writing project that shall not be named, but family comes first, so I'll probably end up spending the day with them. A day in Carmel? Oh, the sacrifice! Before everybody shows up, here is a quick and dirty dozen or so to recap the weekend.

1. Had dinner at P.F. Chang's and tried the Dragon Eye Oolong Tea (oolong with ginger and peach flavoring).
2. Went to Sunnyvale's Rooster T. Feathers for the first time.
3. The headliner was Andy Campbell, but it was Kevin Avery, who rocked.
4. Sunnyvale is apparently an easy target for comics.
5. Watched Gosford Park for the umpteenth time and I'm still not sick of it.
6. Also watched Finding Nemo on DVD... righteous!
7. Intended to run on Sunday, but got to San Francisco too late.
8. Spent the morning writing at Caffe Mono instead.
9. Hiked the Land's End Coastal Trail in beautiful weather.
10. Had a late lunch or early dinner, depending on your preference, at Naan n' Curry on Irving.
11. Had a latte bowl at The Canvas Gallery, which has the coolest combination of food, coffee, art and music I've ever experienced.
12. Got back just in time to open David's Unofficial Bed & Breakfast for my first official houseguest.

Typically, Tuesdays are one of my most productive days, but today feels like a Monday. My fingers move across this keyboard like they're typing underwater. Here is a short recap of a long weekend.

1. Saw Intolerable Cruelty and Lost In Translation. If you only see one, see the latter.
2. "The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you."
3. Learned new facts about coffee.
4. Hiked along the coast in Point Reyes on Saturday.
5. Our table had eight loaves of bread while eating dinner at the Buckeye Roadhouse.
6. Watched Germany take down Sweden in the Women's World Cup. Darn it!
7. The third-place U.S. team looked to Emerson for motivation, "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."
8. Got muddy while playing volleyball on the Marina Green on Sunday.
9. Paused to see the Blue Angels fly overhead for Fleet Week.
10. Had dinner at Pizza Orgasmica and saw the 49ers lose to the Seahawks.
11. Reconfirmed that backyard landscaping will be a costly investment.
12. Missed the Game 3 fiasco, but saw Boston tie the series up with New York. Go Red Sox!

Sometimes I'm drawn to movies for no other reason than who is starring in them. It's completely ridiculous, but there are some people I apparently find so irresistibly captivating, I can't help but waste money to see their latest project. Most of the time, it turns out to be horribly mindless material. On some occasions, my curiosity is richly rewarded with fine film entertainment.

Here are the top 5 movies I want to see simply because of the actors themselves:

• Lost In The Translation (Bill Murray)
• Once Upon A Time In Mexico (Johnny Depp)
• The Rundown (The Rock)
• Under the Tuscan Sun (Diane Lane, Sandra Oh)
• Underworld (Kate Beckinsale)

1. Attended the Taste of Morgan Hill on Saturday.
2. On hand were a number of local wineries, including one located down the street from my neighborhood.
3. I'm sure there are many other things located down the street, I've just never ventured that far off into the wilderness.
4. Yesterday, I ran in Pacifica's Fog Jog, which is part of the annual Pacific Coast Fog Fest.
5. Someone told me it was the first time, in a number of years, where the weather was actually overcast with a hint of fog.
6. Unique features along the five-mile course included the Pacific Ocean, the Pacifica Pier, the Sharp Park Golf Course and a tunnel.
7. The good news: I ran it in forty minutes, won my age division and received my first trophy.
8. The bad news: I was the only one in my division of 20-29 year old males.
9. Afterwards, I had an awesome almond roca mocha from the Bay Coffee Company.
10. They also have a drink known as a depth charge. It's a cup of coffee with a shot of espresso hidden below.
11. I've been meaning to add artwork to my place and discovered some beautiful lighthouse and coastal-themed photos and paintings.
12. When $1,300 prints fall into my price range, they will look wonderful on the walls.

First off, thank you all for the birthday wishes. I truly appreciate them.

I spent the Labor Day weekend camping and hiking in Sequoia & Kings Canyon National Parks. I haven't had time to sit down and write about it properly, but I thought it would be cool (and easier) to summarize the trip by numbers, in no particular order:

Highways taken: 101, 152, 99, 180
Hours driving there: 3.5
Price for gallon of gas: $2.09
Hours spent in parks: 45
Miles hiked: 18
Hiking companions: 2
Number of times lost: 3
Waterfalls seen: 5
Bears seen: 0
Deer seen: 4
Elevation (in feet) of camp: 6,589
Highest elevation climbed: 8,044
Liters of water consumed on the trail: 7
Liters of Gatorade consumed: 2.5
Number of granola bars eaten: 8
Number of pictures taken: 198
Number of pictures of me: 8
Number of good pictures: 190
Price of a double caramel latte at village coffee cart: $4.00
Number of times hearing Kylie Minogue's "Can't Get You Out of My Head" : 5
Hours with television, internet or cell phone reception: 0

It all equaled a great weekend.

I'm trying a cafe sua da, which is tasty. It is typically milk and coffee over ice, but this place substitutes the coffee with four shots of espresso.

As I fight off the urge to think discouraging thoughts, I need to remember eight simple rules...

1. Even if my gut feeling tells me they will say No, I shall ask anyway.
2. I shall not take it personally when they tell me No.
3. I shall not allow my gut to gloat or say, "I told you so."
4. I shall not overthink the words used or reasons given.
5. A No is not the end of the world.
6. In this "game", there are only two strikes. A second No means I'm out.
7. I can be disappointed, but not defeated.
8. I shall keep trying. Otherwise, there will never be a Yes.

Today was busy, peaceful, distressing, reassuring and exhausting. Between all of the emotions, I got nowhere near posting an entry, which brought about the emotion of guilt. So I sit here, still experiencing guilty exhaustion, attempting to gather my thoughts. So let me do a quick baker's dozen...

1. "May I smoke in here?" "Only if you're on fire."
2. Barbecue with good food and good company.
3. Played a couple rounds of Quarters, a crazy card game.
4. a.k.a. Screw Your Neighbor (according to the youngsters)
5. a.k.a. Take All of David's Quarters (according to me)
6. Eleven-year olds play ruthlessly and have no sympathy for poor twenty-somethings trying to make it in this world.
7. Stopped by Japantown's Obon Festival on Sunday.
8. Went to the Mountain Winery in Saratoga that evening.
9. It is a beautiful venue with a wonderful view of San Jose.
10. The Mother Truckers opened and had a great song called "Put the Gun Down".
11. Dwight Yoakam was the main act and was excellent.
12. I especially loved "The Back of Your Hand", "Two Doors Down" and "Fast As You".

Addendum: Technically, the photo is the thirteenth, but I'm not one to quibble... apparently.

13. Accidentally woke up early on Sunday (thinking it was Monday) and went running against my will (since I couldn't fall back asleep).

Five ingredients for a worry-free weekend, a little...

1. cinema (Arnold or Depp & Bloom)
2. music (Beyonce or Yoakam might do)
3. running (coastal, preferably)
4. reading (unread Potter pages work fine)
5. sleep (head-on-pillow time is always a winner)

A little distraction could be the remedy. Have a good weekend!

I don't get a chance to do it often, but I love shooting pool. Last night, after a quick stop for dinner at TK Noodles, we hit South First Billiards, which has nice Monday night rates on tables. We played some cutthroat and eight ball, with no one really running the table. It was better that way.

1. the chaos of a solid break scattering everything across the felt.
2. the cue ball rolling back perfectly to set up the next shot.
3. barely brushing a ball hugging the cushion, causing it to roll and drop into a corner pocket.
4. the blue chalk.
5. racking the balls to break them again.

1. Watched more Wimbledon action than I care to admit. (Andy Roddick!)
2. Found Nemo for the second time and loved it even more.
3. "It's because I like you, I don't want to be with you. It's a complicated emotion."
4. Gave in and bought the latest Potter book while visiting my folks.
5. My sister got 150 pages into the book before I snagged it back.
6. At a page a minute, I'll be done in less than 15 hours (over an unspecified number of days).
7. Summer is already a week old.
8. In that week, there was a month's worth of heat.
9. Went day trippin' in Capitola to get away.
10. Unfortunately, so did everybody else.
11. Enjoyed a repeat showing of Boarding House: North Shore. (Holly Beck!)
12. Got to bed early Sunday night, which may explain my good mood this morning.

I've been in slow motion this entire morning. My brain and legs are aching. The coffee machine is acting up, so my system is lacking the proper coffee level to function. Before I go roaming for an espresso, here is this weekend's dozen.

1. Dare: Go two days without coffee
2. Liked The Matrix: Reloaded
3. Enjoyed Two Weeks Notice
4. Loved Spirited Away
5. I survived the Bay to Breakers (barely)
6. Clever costumes, flying tortillas and naked runners
7. Time taken to run 7.5 miles: 1 hour, 19 minutes
8. Time taken for return bus ride: 45 minutes
9. Time taken by 3-time winner, James Koskei: 35 minutes
10. The Bachelor proposes to the right girl
11. Grass pollen is evil
12. So is caffeine withdrawal

It seems that I have another busy day ahead, which balances out the slow and enjoyable weekend. Until I have more time to write, here is a summary...

1. Stanford Taiko Spring Concert 2003
2. "Comparing will only bring you sadness."
3. Started the May Day Project
4. Parental visit on a Saturday morning
5. A brief stint with allergies
6. Weekend traffic jams are fun, really.
7. Forgot the camera in the car, so ends the project.
8. Mixed seafood and vermicelli in saday sauce
9. A Mother's Day brunch at Flames
10. Lazy reading on a beautiful Sunday afternoon
11. "Concierto de Aranjuez" by Joaquin Rodrigo
12. Good golly, the tribe spoke for a sixth time.

1. was born in Hong Kong and raised by her grandmother.
2. came to America, to live with her parents, when she was 11.
3. was given a speech therapist in school to help her speak English without an accent.
4. is left-handed, but was taught to eat and write with her right hand.
5. grew up in Santa Cruz, California.
6. worked in her parents' grocery store while attending high school.
7. stayed at home to raise my sister and me.
8. is a wonderful artist, but hasn't painted in many years.
9. played the guitar and ukulele when she was younger.
10. is a perfectionist and tends to worry too much.
11. is the glue that keeps our family together.
12. insists on biweekly family dinners at our regular Chinese restaurant.
13. always orders tofu fa when we have dim sum.
14. is the most talkative one in our family.
15. knows everything about the neighbors, postal worker, grocer, car mechanic and others.
16. likes to keep things clean and orderly because of her allergies.
17. buys gifts and cards months in advance and then forgets where she hid them.
18. loves taking photos and has more photo albums than I can count.
19. loves television. Ironically, she falls asleep during the shows and wakes up for the commercials.
20. loves to watch figure skating, but only if she knows the results ahead of time.

In the event of something happening to me
There is something I would like you all to see
It's just a photograph of someone that I knew

Have you seen my wife, Mr. Jones?
Do you know what it's like on the outside?
Don't go talking too loud, you'll cause a landslide, Mr. Jones.

1. "New York Mining Disaster 1941"
2. "How Deep Is Your Love"
3. "I Can't See Nobody"
4. "I Started A Joke"
5. "Massachusetts"

1. The Matrix: Reloaded
2. X2: X-Men United
3. The Hulk
4. Mamma Mia in San Jose
5. Finding Nemo

Keanu, comic books, ABBA and fish. Simple pleasures for a simple mind.

Growing up, the parent-controlled radio was usually on during breakfast. It was tuned to the easy listening channel, which nobody changed since it was my mom's favorite station. Also, the radio was strategically stuck behind bags of music books that were stuffed next to the piano, making it difficult to reach.

1. The Lettermen ("Goin' Out of My Head")
2. John Denver ("Annie's Song")
3. The Carpenters ("Top of the World")
4. Richard Clayderman ("Ballade pour Adeline")
5. Roberta Flack ("Killing Me Softly With His Song")

Hectic is the word I'd use to describe this morning. I've been running late from the moment I woke up. A late lunch is still a welcome lunch.

1. Exercise. Run two miles, cycle two miles and work out for thirty minutes.
2. Eat. Lemon chicken, mixed vegetables and rice, followed by a grande tazo chai.
3. Television. Watch the Velvet Teddy Bear sing "Kiss and Say Goodbye" on American Idol and then quickly turn it off before the big Cher special.
4. Read. A Haruki Murakami novel works well.
5. Music. Listen to simple stuff while reading, like The All-American Rejects or Green Day. (I can't believe Dookie is nine years old!)

Peel me off this velcro seat and get me moving
I sure as hell can't do it by myself

The drawers in my cubicle should probably only be filled with pertinent, work-related items. But that changed one day, after skipping lunch and then feeling hungry later in the afternoon. By that time, the office cafe was already closed and the nearest source of food was too far away to sneak out and grab something. The next day, I brought in a bag of cookies to keep in one drawer, so that I'd have something to snack on.

Time has passed and I haven't been paying much attention to everything I've stashed away. I thought I'd list the wide assortment of less-than-healthy food items in the snack drawer. Let's see, there is...

• a bag of double stuffed fudge cookies
• a bag of raisin cinnamon muffins
• 4 cups of instant soup
• 4 cups of yogurt
• 2 14 oz bags of M&M's
• 3 bottles of water
• 15 tea bags
• and a banana

There are also various plastic forks, spoons, chopsticks and napkins. In case of an emergency, where I can't leave my desk, I'm pretty much set.

1. "Everybody's Fool" by Evanescence
2. "Nobody's Fool" by Cinderella
3. "The Fool On The Hill" by The Beatles
4. "These Foolish Things (Remind Me of You)" by Nat King Cole (I hear him and not Rod Stewart)
5. "Why Do Fools Fall In Love?" by Frankie Lymon and the Teenagers

Sparked by a post I read on geeky chick dot net. Mine is a rather long-winded version...

1. Saw Mina Shum's Long Life, Happiness and Prosperity.
2. Went to SFIAAFF in San Jose's Opening Night reception held at d.p. Fong Galleries.
3. Guava cake is delicious.
4. Slept in late on Saturday and contemplated cleaning the house.
5. Practiced proper procrastination techniques and decided to go running instead.
6. Went to purchase tickets for Charlotte Sometimes, but it was sold out. Decided to try the "rush line" later.
7. Killed time by having dinner at Tengu Sushi and taking some pictures.
8. Waited at least thirty minutes in the ironically-named "rush line" and barely got in to see the movie.
9. Went to The Agenda Lounge, which was hosting Directions in Sound, a "celebration of the Asian American music underground".
10. Slept in even later on Sunday.
11. Lost two pounds running and allegedly dancing.
12. Watched The Bourne Identity and was disappointed that Clive Owen had such a small role.

1. When I'm down, an annoying clown doesn't come around and rub it in
2. Bills every three days seems a bit excessive
3. No weekends, life without real weekends is just wrong
4. Deleting a pool ladder doesn't cause me to swim around endlessly until I drown
5. I don't become hopelessly trapped by poor furniture placement

1. Changing clothes would require only a spiffy spin
2. Home decoration and remodeling would be so simple
3. Time at work would fly by, just like that
4. You could tell if you were scoring points (literally) with somebody by the plus signs or heart above their head
5. People wouldn't think you're all that weird, should you accidentally say shoon shoon instead of good-bye after playing way too much of the game

1. broadband internet
2. cable television
3. TiVo
4. a video game machine (PS2, GameCube)
5. espresso machine

I struggled with the last one, but I'm sure that there are countless hours of fun in trying to produce the perfect caffeinated concoction from an espresso machine.

1. Peanuts
2. Dilbert
3. Foxtrot
4. Calvin & Hobbes
5. Dick Tracy

1. knows a lot more about reality television than admitted here.
2. sings more, but annoyingly, doesn't remember most of the lyrics.
3. uses phrases like "cool", "man", "no way" and "uhhhh-huh".
4. swears more as in "darn it", "dang" and "holy crap".
5. is skinnier and walks faster.
6. tends to smile and laugh more, but just a little.
7. doesn't :( or :P or sigh
8. uses less punctuation and doesn't refer to the dictionary as often.
9. doesn't use single initials to refer to people I know.
10. doesn't time stamp thoughts or provide permalinks to them.

1. Alison Krauss + Union Station
2. The Goo Goo Dolls
3. No Doubt
4. Live
5. Simon & Garfunkel

1. High Fidelity
2. American In Paris
3. Princess Bride
4. Amelie
5. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

• Could ornaments be any more fragile?
• What if you don't have a chimney?
• Who puts the snow in snowglobes?
• Just what is figgy pudding?
• Does anyone eat fruitcake?
• Who tangles the lights?

1. family
2. relatively good health
3. new house
4. financial security
5. the good weather
6. Bay Area baseball
7. freedom of speech
8. people who listen and make me laugh
9. music
10. coffee

• I set my alarm for 1:30 AM to catch Matchbox Twenty on Conan O'Brien.
• It is always a bad idea to set an alarm for that early in the morning, regardless of how good an idea it seems at the time that you're setting it.
• I was later jolted out of bed by the sounds of a concrete truck backing up to my neighbor's fence.
• No one should be allowed to drive a concrete truck in reverse before 8:00 AM on the weekend.
• I cleaned my house, giving it a good once-over.
• Unfortunately, it really needs a good twice-over.
• On Saturday, my parents and sister brought over the last of my stuff that had been stored at their house.
• I never realized how much of my stuff is packaging and recyclable.
• I was hoping to see the Christmas tree lighting at Pier 39.
• The family's response was unenthusiastic apathy, so I didn't go.
• I ended up putting up my artificial Christmas tree.
• I spent a relaxing Sunday at my parents' house.
• Instead of football, I watched figure skating. Sasha Cohen and Michael Weiss won the Troph�e Lalique in Paris, France.
• Afterwards, I went for a walk around the old neighborhood.
• Somehow, I ended up at Starbucks. Imagine that!
• A pretty girl, named Launa, walked past me as I entered the coffee shop. She and I went to the same high school.
• I noticed her, but she didn't notice me.
• Not much has changed since high school.

• John Cusack (Grosse Pointe Blank, Being John Malkovich, High Fidelity)
• Owen Wilson (Shanghai Noon, I-Spy, any movie with Ben Stiller)
• Leslie Nielsen (Airplane, the Naked Gun series, Spy Hard)
• Cary Elwes (The Princess Bride, Robin Hood: Men in Tights)
• Ben Stiller (Meet the Parents, Zoolander, Mystery Men)
• Ryan Reynolds (Van Wilder)

• SJSU Girl, she usually has a backpack and a bag or two and listens to her Walkman.
• Front-Seat Lady, she occupies two seats in the upper deck, one for her and the other for her bag and feet.
• Laptop Guy #1, he plays 3DO's Heroes of Might and Magic 3.
• Bellarmine Boys, a whole heap of guys from Bellarmine Prep take the train. One group has their daily card game in the bicycle car.
• IBM Twins, they don't look alike, but they wear the same IBM jacket every morning.
• Fife Guy, he plays the fife in the parking lot, at the station, on the train (softly) and walking to work. He knows many marching tunes.
• Walking Judge, he walks to his courtroom every morning.
• Red-Headed Girl, she works downtown and walks very fast.
• Purple Backpack Girl, she heads downtown and walks even faster.
• Skateboard Guy, he has a shaved head and a long skateboard.
• Laptop Guy #2, he watches various DVDs.
• Knitting Girl, she knits like crazy.
• Jansport Girl, her nose is in a book from the moment she sits down.
• Red-Headed Asian Girl, she is not to be confused with Red-Headed Girl and she dresses with style.