December 2006 Archives
I'm interrupting this unexpected hiatus to say farewell to the old year and say hello to the new year. Have fun celebrating the arrival of 2007 and I'll see you next year.
Elkit did a year-in-review meme that seemed worth trying. The challenge is to post the first sentence or two from the first post of each month of this year.
January: Hobbes: How are you doing on your New Year's resolutions?
February: Last Friday, I finished my third book of the year, Sarah Vowell's Assassination Vacation.
March: Write what you know. It's the one piece of advice every aspiring writer learns.
Apri: The following is the result of riding the bus and reading Pratchett on another rainy day...
June: As a friendly reminder, it's June, so don't forget to flip your wall calendar to the next month.
August: Since exploring Desolation Wilderness four weeks ago, I haven't been hiking much.
September: I've yet to adjust to the feeling of repeating stories.
October: Ever since I upgraded Movable Type, I've been having plug-in troubles and template problems.
Gawker recently published an article listing the fifteen most recycled clichés used in blog-media today. I read it with apprehension, afraid they would "out" the unoriginal jokes and references that litter my writing. Fortunately, they overlooked most of my repertoire and only mentioned three I've been guilty of using.
[undesirable counter-example], not so much.
The punchline that ends a thousand million columns and blog posts. Weak as the lightest of lite beers, or the puny farts you get from such beer.
This one cropped up twice in 2003. Once in a title (Running? Not so Much) and once in a post about surfing (My courage… not so much).
[adjective]-y goodness
"Goodness" once might have served as a comical placeholder for sarcastic expressions of positivity, but now it exists in this construction purely to demonstrate the high-lariousness of the writer. A near cousin replaces "goodness" with a noun specific to the context, such as "his sexy backness."
I used this one twice in 2005. Once it appeared as minty goodness (to describe a peppermint patty) and once as crunchy goodness (my interpretation of a statue).
[x] is the new [y].
The unkillable grandaddy of them all, a Protean monster capable of adapting to any topic, discussion, situation, or writer. Has gone through so many levels of irony, sarcasm, and hipster appropriation that it deserves to be captured and dissected so we can finally understand its vigor. There is likely no defense, but fight it as long as you can. Your sacrifice will be remembered.
In 2004, when talking about changing this journal's banner and color scheme, I felt compelled to say brown was the new blue.
To reiterate, this doesn't mean my writing is free from clichés. It only means no one has bothered to compile a list of the ones I use or I haven't been made aware of the list… yet.
For those curious about the other twelve clichés, but not curious enough to click on the link at the beginning of this post, here they are…- Best. [ultimate thing or experience.] Ever/Evar.
- FTW, O RLY, lol, FTL, OMG, FWIW, btw, PWND, ROTFL, etc.
- [negative experience, situation, or description]; I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.
- [purposefully non-ghetto statement], yo.
- [undesirable conclusion]. Oy.
- [amazed paraphrase of opposing position]. Seriously? Seriously?
- What's next? [outlandish scenario]?
- I'm looking at you, [example of complaint].
- Um, [condescension]?
- [Argument], wait for it, [rhetorical flourish].
- [Undesirable experience] made my [sensory organ] bleed.
- [any word]-gasm
Good evening, Sports Racers. It's Monday, December 18th. Knowledge says I've been watching too many episodes of The Show with Ze Frank and Knowledge is right.
I started with Episode 1 (03-17-06) on Thursday and just finished watching Episode 100 (08-08-06). For those who like analysis, each episode is approximately three-minutes long. That means I've watched 300 minutes of the show. Averaged over five days, I've only watched sixty minutes of Ze a day. (I included the word only in the previous sentence to make myself feel better about this growing timesink.)
At my current pace, I'll be caught up with the show on Saturday, which will either be a great achievement or very sad.
The show is smart, current, interactive, intimate, crass, and silly. Ze Frank is appealing because one can see he revels in creating and playing with the medium. His appeal also stems from the fact that he reminds me of Stan Laurel for some reason. It probably has less to do with his toilet humor and swearing and more to do with certain facial expressions and his messy hair.
As someone who isn't tech savvy, I find it heartening to know he produces his show with only a basic video camera and (relatively) simple software like iMovie and GarageBand. When I watch him, I'm almost inspired to try my hand at podcasting. Almost. The only things stopping me are reality and a general lack of talent.
I will end this post with one of Ze's songs. He wrote it in response to criticism from a viewer who chided him for wasting time talking about evolution and intelligent design instead of giving the audience a tour of Cannes. The song is called "Anti-intellectualism". You can hear it near the beginning of his 05-05-06 episode. Here are the lyrics...
Let's watch the monkey dance
Anti-intellectualism
Make fun of the South of France
Anti-intellectualism
I found these balls
They're made of brass
This little bathtub
Smells like ass
Look!
A see-through wall of glass!
Anti-intellectualism
Let's watch the monkey dance
Anti-intellectualism
Make fun of the South of France
Anti-intellectualism
I bet this bike goes really fast!
Oh, and Joel, kiss my ass!
Anti-anti-anti-anti-anti-anti-anti-anti-anti-intellectualism
That's classic Ze Frank, a guy who's thinking so we don't have to.
Song on my mind... "Never My Love" by The Association
You ask me if there'll come a time
When I grow tired of you
Never my love, never my love
You wonder if this heart of mine
Will lose its desire for you
Never my love, never my love
What makes you think love will end
When you know that my whole life depends
On you
Never my love, never my love
You say you fear I'll change my mind
I won't require you
Never my love, never my love
How can you think love will end
When I've asked you to spend your whole life
With me
On Friday, the new Trader Joe's in Morgan Hill opened for business. Like most locals, I was ecstatic. We had been anticipating the arrival of the small grocery chain for more than two years. Constant rumors had sustained hopes, but physical proof of any truth to the rumors didn't appear until this fall, when a fully constructed building dropped from the sky and landed on the empty lot tucked behind Scrambl'z Diner (on Dunne, right off South 101).
With the store finally open, curiosity mandated a visit. So, on Saturday morning, we drove over and followed a steady stream of cars (a la Field of Dreams) into the parking lot. After finding a spot, I grabbed one of the nice, new red baskets (with black handles) and rushed inside with an exuberance more appropriate for a new game machine than a new food market.
The store was magnificent. Baked goods filled every sliding shelf, fresh produce overflowed every bin, and an abundance of store brand and organic products lined every aisle. The sight of it all sent me into a fit of hyperbole.
It's a glorious bounty, a heavenly harvest, I thought to myself as I surveyed the store. "It's also the exact same selection of food you could find at every other TJ's," said my internal voice of cynicism. The voice was right, of course, but I didn't let it spoil my enjoyment of the moment.
The mood of the store was also different. People weren't their usual grouchy grocery-shopping selves. This weekend, in this store, they were actually happy and smiling. It was an unusual sight.
"Look, Mom, now you can come here and shop whenever you want," I overheard one woman say to another woman I assumed was her mother. "You don't have to stockpile anymore." I saw people stroll down aisles and point out products to others as though it was a surprise to find those items on the shelf. Reflecting on it, the assorted scenes of joy were somewhat bizarre.
At one point, I stopped by the Tiki Hut in back where they were serving free coffee samples. The short, gray-haired woman behind the counter wore a green Trader Joe's sweatshirt with a pin that said, "I Love Morgan Hill." She was friendly and talkative and obviously affected by the mood in the store. She chattered away about coffee brewing and the store opening and I happily listened while sipping my sample.
Since we had to be going and wouldn't be returning to the house right away, we only bought a few snacks to get us through the rest of the day. We made a second visit that same evening to do some real shopping. At the checkout stand, the crew member (a.k.a. employee) pointed at a tall, narrow cylindrical box with white and red stripes. "Go ahead and take one of those. It's free," she said.
I'm not one to argue with people giving away free things, so I blindly obeyed and grabbed one. I only stopped to look at it after it was securely in my hands. The packaging indicated it contained peppermint chocolate cookies. As soon as we got home, I tried one and then tried (with some difficulty) to stop at just one.
And that sums up my first experience at the new grocery store in town.
The day was ending. The sky was darkening. The temperature was dropping. Most people were heading home for the night, but a few individuals braved the dark and the cold and sat around a table in a cafe, drank coffee, and philosophized. That they philosophized about gummy bacon, Guitar Hero, or Day of the Ninja is unimportant. What is important is that they ended the day sharing laughs and liveblogging their silliness. Photos from the mosaic can be found on Flickr. The title of this entry is a quote courtesy of Rich.
It has now been two months since I last hiked. I've been missing it, but I've only myself to blame. It's true how we make our own misery.
Fall is a wonderful time to hike. The days may be shorter, but the weather is cooler and there are less mosquitoes and people. With such appealing conditions (especially the less people part), it's hard to believe I haven't made any effort to hit a trail.
With the recent news about the rescue of the San Jose couple who were lost for five days in Castle Rock State Park and their lack of preparation, I've been thinking about how well-prepared I am whenever I wander into the wilderness.
Before I hike, I have a relatively good idea of the route I want to hike. I also try to make sure I have extra water, extra food, extra clothing, a hat, sunscreen, a poncho, a first aid kit, matches, a map, and a flashlight. How it all manages to fit in a backpack is a modern marvel. Somehow it all does, so I'm happy.
The one big omission from the list is a water filter. Until now, I've been lucky and have never needed one, but I should invest in a filter to be on the safe side.
With thoughts of preparation, I found a great list of common sense rules for hikers on Winehiker Witiculture that I wanted to share. It's called The Hiker’s Top 25 Rules for Returning Home Safely. It's a good bit of reference to keep handy and check before heading out on a hike.
I don't know if I'll be making it to any parks this month. The National Park Service is encouraging folks to visit a park during the holidays and it has a list of special events happening across the country through the end of the year. It would be great to experience Christmastime in a park. I hope to, but we'll have to see if the stars of free time and good weather align.
Last night was the fall finale of Heroes, marking the end of an eight-episode fall season. The show now goes on winter hiatus for six weeks, returns with a block of sixteen new episodes in January, and finishes with a season finale (or would that be a spring finale?) in May.
Heroes isn't the only show adopting a two-finale system. Shows like Prison Break and Jericho are also giving the new concept a try. Of course, they're all following the lead of Lost.
During the summer, Lost announced it would be airing a block of six new episodes in the fall, taking thirteen weeks off, and airing the remainder of the season (without repeats) in the new year. This would help avoid the stress and chaos the network created last season when fans never knew if Wednesday night would bring something new, something old, or something recycled (episodes containing 95% reused material).
Breaking Lost's season into two blocks was good for the fans and the network. It made it easier for fans to follow the show and it gave the network a season within a season to showcase another program.
The concept of two blocks of fresh episodes makes sense. One wonders why executives were so reluctant to do it before. Perhaps there was never enough demand for a change. Popular shows like ER, CSI, or Law & Order don't rely on long story arcs, cliffhangers, or momentum. There isn't a critical link between episodes and there's rarely the risk of the audience losing track of the main storyline because the main storyline is contained within the episode.
With a show like Heroes, which relies on pacing, ongoing story arcs, and an established timeline, mixing new episodes and repeats indiscriminately breaks the continuity and turns away fans who tune in to find out what happens next.
If the popularity of shows like Heroes or Prison Break continues to increase and both shows retain their audiences over the winter break, expect to see more programs with fall finales next year.
This weekend, I
> didn't decorate the house. It's disappointing, but not devastating. I figure the later they go up, the later they will come down. At this rate, if I hang the last ornament on the tree this Friday, it only seems reasonable to keep it hanging until at least February. Maybe March. My strongest excuse for not decorating is that we were out of town and I didn't feel comfortable delegating the responsibility to the cat, at least not this year.
> attended a baptism in Davis on Saturday. The baby was well-behaved, better behaved than I would have been if somebody had been speaking in a language I couldn't understand and then had poured water on my head.
> ate lunch at Dos Coyotes (in Davis). I had a Colorado Burrito, which is made with angus beef, anasazi beans and four types of chili (if one is to believe the menu). It wasn't the best burrito I've ever had, but it was good enough to make me want to come back.
> visited Union Square in San Francisco. We arrived at the perfect time. The sun had already set and the store decorations were on - snowflakes adorned Saks Fifth Avenue, wreathes hung in the windows of Macy's. The towering tree near the center of the square was lit and dazzling. Shoppers were milling through the plaza and bustling in and out of the surrounding stores. Tourists dressed in evening attire stood in long queues in front of hotels and waited for taxis to whisk them away to other parts of town. The spirit of the season in the city is intoxicating. I wonder if it feels the same in places like New York City or Boston.
> ate dinner at Dojima-Ann in San Francisco. I had the Moriawase Sashimi ($16.95). It had fourteen pieces of assorted sashimi: hamachi, maguro, saba, and sake. It also came with the standard salad, rice, and miso soup. We had to wait ten or fifteen minutes outside for a table, but I think the food was worth the time spent out in the cold.
> ate breakfast at Copenhagen Bakery in Burlingame on Sunday. I had plain ham and eggs. I also had more cups of coffee than I could count - mostly Viking Blend and Millenium Joe (made by Adam's Organic Coffees).
> attended a wedding later the same day in Burlingame. The ceremony started thirty minutes late, but only took twelve minutes, so it all worked out in my book. The pre-reception and the reception filled the next five hours. The happy couple must have been running on sheer adrenaline by the end of the night. I don't know how anybody could endure that many hours of standing, smiling, and posing for photographs. Although they don't read this journal, I want to wish them all the best. I also hope their cheeks aren't too sore from all of that smiling.
