September 2003 Archives

On my way to work, I grabbed a caramel macchiato and was pleasantly surprised by the coffee sleeve I found snuggly hugging the cup. Most of the time, sports promotions and other advertisements encircle the drink, but this one had art! JavaArt, to be exact. It was a painting by Elisabetta Franchini called "Venezia" and it brightened my morning.

Ten things I shouldn't have before going to bed:

1. A glass of milk
2-10. Double Delight Oreo Mint 'n Creme cookies

In all honesty, it was a momentary lapse in control. My "official" story is that the cookie jar could hold all but nine. They needed someplace to stay and so I offered my stomach.

For the diet-conscious reader, those ten things were only about 700 calories. For everybody else, those ten things were really, really good.

Sometimes I'm drawn to movies for no other reason than who is starring in them. It's completely ridiculous, but there are some people I apparently find so irresistibly captivating, I can't help but waste money to see their latest project. Most of the time, it turns out to be horribly mindless material. On some occasions, my curiosity is richly rewarded with fine film entertainment.

Here are the top 5 movies I want to see simply because of the actors themselves:

• Lost In The Translation (Bill Murray)
• Once Upon A Time In Mexico (Johnny Depp)
• The Rundown (The Rock)
• Under the Tuscan Sun (Diane Lane, Sandra Oh)
• Underworld (Kate Beckinsale)

1. Attended the Taste of Morgan Hill on Saturday.
2. On hand were a number of local wineries, including one located down the street from my neighborhood.
3. I'm sure there are many other things located down the street, I've just never ventured that far off into the wilderness.
4. Yesterday, I ran in Pacifica's Fog Jog, which is part of the annual Pacific Coast Fog Fest.
5. Someone told me it was the first time, in a number of years, where the weather was actually overcast with a hint of fog.
6. Unique features along the five-mile course included the Pacific Ocean, the Pacifica Pier, the Sharp Park Golf Course and a tunnel.
7. The good news: I ran it in forty minutes, won my age division and received my first trophy.
8. The bad news: I was the only one in my division of 20-29 year old males.
9. Afterwards, I had an awesome almond roca mocha from the Bay Coffee Company.
10. They also have a drink known as a depth charge. It's a cup of coffee with a shot of espresso hidden below.
11. I've been meaning to add artwork to my place and discovered some beautiful lighthouse and coastal-themed photos and paintings.
12. When $1,300 prints fall into my price range, they will look wonderful on the walls.

Last night was the first time I played open gym volleyball. It felt smaller and more serious than the grass court. Halfway through the first game, I knew I was in over my head and others knew it, too. They must have seen me as liability and started covering for me, which made it difficult to improve on any skills. They wanted to play, not coach, and I should have known better.

Anyway, the big ego blow came late in the session. I was playing right forward. The center forward poached the ball and set me up too close to the net. I should have jumped to dink it, but froze instead, thinking it was over. My perspective was off and the ball landed on top of the net, paused and lazily dribbled down our side. I swore and tried to rescue it by reaching out an arm and bouncing it back to the center.

That move only made things worse. I was so busy internally cursing my stupidity that I was unable to react as the center slammed the volleyball into my face. The ball struck my glasses, bending the frame and stunning me.

At that moment, I wanted to give up and call it a night, but something inside me said stick with it. I wasn't going to let one hit to the head take me out. Two, maybe, but definitely not one. Thankfully, the rest of the night went on without incident.

I'm not going to give up on this yet, but I hope any future stories from the court are happier ones. Notes to self: 1) Start looking for beginner/intermediate clinics. 2) Think about investing in sports goggles.

This week's Photo Friday challenge is Heights. Trees and high-rise buildings immediately come to mind.

The Knight Ridder building borders the Circle of Palms and stands adjacent to the San Jose Museum of Art in downtown. The plaza is one of my favorite places to eat lunch and read. It's about a mile from work, which makes it a great escape within walking distance.

Good coffee: A cup of Hawaiian Hazelnut in the morning.
Bad coffee: Any blend with International Delight Kahlua creamer added.

This week's theme for Theme Thursday is It's All Good. "Our favourite photographs are taken when we are smiling whilst looking through the camera..."

The afternoon was upon us and we were in search of waterfalls. Just off the Kings Canyon Scenic Byway was Grizzly Falls. I loved the sound and way the water tumbled down and splashed around the rocks. If there had been more time and less people, it would have been a perfect spot to reflect, read or write.

Last night, after dinner and the premiere of 8 Simple Rules, I headed up to the Hemlock Tavern in San Francisco. Surprisingly, I didn't get lost and easily found parking. Having written that, it will never happen again.

Seattle's Jen Wood Trio didn't begin until around 10:30. Guitars from Washington apparently don't like the California weather. She apologized for having to tune it numerous times. Most of her songs were slow and personal. I especially loved the vocal harmonies.

Odessa Chen's songs had a haunting, yet comforting feel to them. It's hard to describe. I especially liked the percussionist who accompanied her on drums. Using brushes and what looked like soft timpani mallets, he never overpowered the melody. On a couple of songs, he would run a bow along the edge of the cymbal, creating an eerily cool effect. I had never seen that before.

As I walked to work yesterday, I spotted a blue tie in the gutter. It had graphics of pancakes, eggs and toast on it. I wondered if somebody had gotten fed up wearing it and had tossed it aside in disgust.

Anyway, it got me thinking about the day I will finally succumb to wearing the standard shirt and tie, like so many of the engineers and architects do in our office. To them, it represents competence and professionalism. To me, it only symbolizes conformity.

I'm sure my life would be easier if I fashionably fell in line, but I can't bring myself to do it. I still associate the clothing with an older generation, my parents' generation. I associate it too closely with the image of a typical engineer and I really don't feel like fitting the profile.

My coworkers and supervisors probably believe my casual attire is just a phase. I don’t think so, but we'll see how long it is before I surrender to the system and wear more upwardly mobile apparel.

"For, after all, time is not money; time is an opportunity to live before you die. So a man who walks, and lives and sees and thinks as he walks, has lengthened his life."

- Donald Culross Peattie, "The Joy of Walking"

"When we walk, we naturally go to the fields and woods: what would become of us, if we walked only in a garden or a mall?"

- Henry David Thoreau, Walking

It would have been nice if yesterday's San Francisco looked more like the photograph. Instead, it must have been in the 90s. Under the sun, we played volleyball on the Marina Green. Sunscreen and hydration were the words of the day. For me, hydration is defined as a morning cup of coffee on a Sunday afternoon.

Someone mentioned how humbling it can be trying to learn something new. I felt like that yesterday. It's easy to be discouraged and beat myself up after every mistake (I make so many and have the bruises to prove it), but I take heart in the little improvements. I'm bad, but getting better. It's all about patience and practice.

This has been a San Fran September. I've been to the City more times this month than in the previous twelve months combined. Tomorrow night, I'll be heading up once more to see Odessa Chen perform. Gas stations must be loving me.

I caught a little bit of the Women's World Cup between USA and Sweden. I don't know if I mentioned it before, but I'm part Swedish (mostly my last name), so I ended up rooting for both sides. Brandi Chastain, of the recently defunct San Jose CyberRays, was sidelined with an injury. Mia Hamm had three assists in the 3-1 victory.

There is nothing quite as satisfying as sleeping in late on Saturday and watching Trading Spaces: Boys vs. Girls. This week, the boy's bedroom was redone with a baseball theme. He had Astroturf carpeting, a desk made to look like a dugout, baseball card curtains, real stadium chairs and a circular bed with a baseball comforter. I kept thinking, "Man, I want my bedroom like that!" Then I remembered, "Oh wait. I'm an adult. Darn it!"

This week's Photo Friday challenge is Found.

One July evening, as I walked across the train station parking lot, I found these unoccupied shoes. For some reason, I thought it was the funniest thing and took a photograph. Who would leave them there? Had the heel broken? Did they ditch them for something more comfortable? Were they planning to come back for them? It's the case of the abandoned footwear.

Why did I try that coffee blend? How did I happen upon that journal? How did I stumble across this house? Out of random curiosity.

Everyone and everything is like a new trail, a potential path to be traveled. Some will be beautiful and some will be barren. Some will be worth the effort and others will be too difficult, at least for now.

However different, every trail will test and teach me. Each one will start with that first step, the initial risk. It will require picking pathes and knowing I won't be able to get to them all.

I've often been paralyzed by indecision and anxiety. Sometimes I still am, but I’m tired of standing still. I want to learn and experience.

So, I'm challenging myself to explore, letting my curiosity quell my anxiety and choosing random trails to follow. I'll never know, unless I go.

I thought explaining a name would be short and simple. I should know better by now.

For the second year in the row, the Giants are in the playoffs! I'm stoked. Last year, they made it as a wild card team. This year, they led the division throughout the entire season. Unfortunately, the last three teams who stayed in first never reached the World Series. Hopefully, San Francisco can break that streak.

With eleven games left in the season, two pieces of business remain to be finished. The first is achieving the best league record for home field advantage. The other is Barry Bonds’ pursuit of third place on the all-time home run list. He is only five shy of passing Willie Mays. He can do it.

By the way, there is no personal item precious enough that requires scaling down the side of a stadium and losing one's life trying to retrieve it.

For her birthday, my sister recently received The Rocketeer on DVD. It's one of her favorite movies and one of mine, too. I was still in high school when it premiered.

I remember first being drawn to the art deco poster. Then I saw the trailer on television and the musical score caught my attention. James Horner was the composer and the film's theme has been reused in a number of subsequent movie trailers. Secondhand Lions being the latest. My sister still has the soundtrack on cassette. Due to the movie, I attempted to learn Cole Porter's "Begin the Beguine" on the piano.

After seeing it the first time, I had a crush on Jennifer Connelly. Seeing it now reminded me why I liked Billy Campbell so much. He plays the affable hero who takes as many punches as he throws. Watching him also made me nostalgic for Once and Again, but let's not go there.

Overall, it's simply a fun film that makes me smile and brings back good memories.

A couple of weeks ago, someone planted the idea in my head to redesign. I was hesitant at first, but spent my usual writing time tinkering with the journal's innards. I thought the new name needed to be lighter and maybe hint at a more adventurous spirit. Apparently, the extent of my color coordinating skills is to mix fourteen shades of blue. I just hope everything still works. It wasn't pretty.

Taken five seconds faster and you would see Leo Estrella, the Milwaukee pitcher, looking in at the catcher, believing he could pitch his way out of a bases-loaded situation in the bottom of the eleventh inning.

Taken five seconds slower and you would see Todd Linden, the San Francisco reserve left fielder, running down to first as he singled. Marquis Grissom, the center fielder, would be crossing the plate to score the winning run.

Looking through the viewfinder from the bleachers in left field, I had a feeling something would happen. It was like having a sixth sense. It was probably from sitting out in the sun too long. Either way, the Giants beat the Brewers on Sunday. Here are five things I will remember about this game:

1. Barry Bonds made two appearances in the eighth. The first was a walk. The second was an ejection.
2. We cheered louder for Jose Cruz, Jr. because someone in our group was also named Jose.
3. The game lasted 3 hours and 45 minutes.
4. There was a guy who would yell slowly and hoarsely, "Let's go, Giants! Let's go!" He was scary.
5. There was another guy who would yell, "Let's go, Sandy! Let's go!" He then attempted an awful rendition of "Sandy" from the musical, Grease. He was scarier.

On Saturday, I drove up to San Francisco to meet other SF Bay Bloggers. At the corner of Noe Street and Market Street is Cafe Flore, a little place with walls of glass and tables bolted to the floor. It was quite nice, but rather hot. I had a cup of ice with milk and two shots of espresso.

The heat didn't deter us from hanging out and laughing. It was good to meet new faces, from near and far, and associate real people with the journals I read. Typically, anxiety kicks in when meeting a group of strangers, but it helped to have a couple of friendly and familiar folks there. I'm looking forward to the next one, but hopefully it will be a little closer to home.

Last year, our volleyball team had little squirt guns, a.k.a. opposition distraction devices. If we couldn't beat other teams with skill, we could at least get them wet. The strategy didn't quite work and we were soundly trounced in the first round.

We fared slightly better this year. We beat the first team and then were soundly trounced. I was pretty sloppy and my serves were inconsistent, but I also made some nice plays. If nothing else, the day sparked a desire to practice and improve.

I was watching the finals later that afternoon and remarked to G, "X was looking tired, but he seems to have picked up his game." G replied, "He'd better. Y is watching, if you know what I mean."

(An aside: "if you know what I mean" is one of my favorite phrases, mainly due to the Whose Line Is It Anyway? game of the same name. It's as subtle as a two-by-four to the head, but I like it.)

I knew what he meant. Earlier in the day, when I glimpsed a certain someone watching us play, I was undeniably motivated to impress and play harder. On the court, it made sense. But now, it just seems silly. I mean, could someone really be won over with a good show?

Of all the days to have a company picnic, it has to be on what is forecasted to be one of the hottest days of the month. I imagine it wouldn't be so bad if we were simply enjoying a barbecue and beer, but there is the annual volleyball championship up for grabs. While I've been with the division, we've never won. Coincidence?

Today will be the second time this week I've played outdoor volleyball. It will also be the second time this year. The first was a Sunday afternoon affair in San Francisco. After many poor passes and sets there, any delusions I had of being the next Eric Fonoimoana were dispelled. My aching muscles are just barely recovering.

Every year, I'm volunteered for the division's team. Everybody (including myself) conveniently forgets how badly I played the previous year. Every year there is a brutal refresher course. Maybe today will be different. We'll see. On the upside, the faster we lose, the more time we'll have to enjoy the barbecue and beer.

To celebrate the moon festival, the company's Chinese-American Association (yeah, we have one of those) had lunch at Hong Fu in Cupertino. It was an endless stream of seafood and vegetable dishes. For dessert, there were red bean moon cakes.

Throughout lunch, I felt a little left out. Most of the conversation at the table was either in Mandarin or Cantonese. My contribution was a lot of smiling, nodding and clueless looks. A, a member of our department's MIS group, noticed my bewildered countenance and was kind enough to translate every so often.

After work, I joined a large group for a full moon hike in the Marin Headlands. Our destination was Tennessee Beach, which is at the end of the popular Tennessee Valley Trail. It's amazing how much longer a hike feels when carrying extra blankets, food, logs or two buckets full of beer-soaked corn. We ate, drank and tried to stay warm as we waited for the moon to rise above the cliffs. It finally did, just as the rangers came by to tell us to extinguish our source of warmth. In the silver glow of moonlight, we enjoyed moon cakes and green tea.

On Sunday, I woke up early for the annual Komen San Francisco Race for the Cure. This year, it was held at Crissy Field in the Presidio. The purpose of the event was to raise money for breast cancer research, dedicate the day to those suffering from the disease and celebrate those who have survived it.

The morning was cool and sunny. The Golden Gate Bridge was entirely visible and so were the boats sailing in the bay. The 5K loop began on Mason Street, circled the field in a counter-clockwise fashion up to Fort Point before returning. The fastest runner finished in 15:12, while I moseyed in with a 24:21.

I met up with a couple of folks after the run. We grabbed our free breakfast and filled our bags with all types of goodies. I now have enough PowerBars to last me the entire week. We hung out there for a little while and enjoyed the bay, the breeze, the people and the running high. It felt good.

Yesterday, I felt like I was moving in slow motion. I meant to write entries and reply to people, but I just couldn't find the time. I will today.

E was set on playing pool and wanted company. I could sense it was something more than a simple desire to sink the eight ball. So after work, I took the train home, only to drive back downtown. I had planned to stay an hour or two, but ended up staying close to midnight. Nothing else seems to matter much when being there to provide a listening ear.

Enough of my internal pep talk and on to something lighter. It's been a month since the last Friday Five and it's all about cleaning, the constant chore. So here we go...

1. What housekeeping chore(s) do you hate doing the most?
I know they're my toilets, but really, I'm not a fan of cleaning them. I usually get them done and over with first. Ugh!

2. Are there any that you like or don't mind doing?
Vacuuming is the best part of cleaning, no doubt. My vacuum cleaner is a mean, low-riding, four-wheel machine with headlight and powerful motor that is built to suck on all types of indoor terrain.

3. Do you have a routine throughout the week or just clean as it's needed?
I really should have a weekly routine. It would probably save me time. But I try to be a guy and avoid the cleaning for as long as possible. I can keep up that front for about two weeks before the dust, dirt and clutter get to me.

4. Do you have any odd cleaning/housekeeping quirks or rules?
My only rule is to work from the top down. Dust and then vacuum.

5. What was the last thing you cleaned?
My backpack. There was a nasty Gatorade spill and I tried my best to clean it, but it still smells like orange.

My world has grown over the last month or two. These little and sometimes spontaneous steps outside of my comfort zone have been exhilarating but scary. With each one, I want to shrink back to safety, like I always do, like I know I shouldn't.

I fear this is all too fragile. If I try too hard and grab on too tightly, everything will crumble. But if I don't hold on tightly enough, everything will slip through my fingers. I need to find the balance.

There are risks to take, skills to improve and lessons to learn. There will be joy and disappointment and possibly every emotion in between, if I can allow myself to experience it. For my world to continue to grow, I can't remain afraid.

In July 1983, Robert James Waller gave a commencement speech at the University of Northern Iowa. He spoke about being a romantic and how easy it is to drive romance away. But he followed with "suggestions for keeping romance around you or getting her back if she has flown". They are simple and natural ways to nurture one's self and I wish to remember them.

• Read some poetry every day. Set a new schedule for yourself and do your reading then.
• Sometime in your life, build your own house or at least the most intimate parts of it.
• Collect little things...
• Play a musical instrument.
• Travel is good for romance. But don't just travel; travel.
• Keep good journals of your life and travels.

It is very easy to lose sight of such things in our busy lives, with everything and everybody moving so quickly. There needs to be time or time needs to be made for the slow, quiet and maybe even unfashionable activities that can rejuvenate and inspire the spirit.

I like the way Waller puts it, "In a sense, romance is practical. It fuels your life and propels your work with a sense of vision, hope and caring."

I was late. I just knew I was. Waiting at the stoplight, in the left turn lane, I could see the red lights flashing at the railroad crossing. It meant the train was pulling into the station and I had about a minute to turn, park and board the train. It wasn't looking good.

The light turned green and I hauled the sedan around the concrete median and pulled into the second driveway. I could see the last passengers boarding as I wheeled around cars and planters to stop abruptly in an empty stall. It was going to be close. I was losing hope and picturing myself futilely running towards a departing train. But as quickly as my imagination was churning, my muscles were moving faster.

I yanked the key from the ignition, grabbed my bag, opened and locked the door in one motion and then jammed from the car, slamming the door closed behind me. I could see the two conductors standing on the steps of the train. I was at least two hundred feet away. One had his arm raised, holding the key above the doors, ready to close them. He surveyed the lot one last time and saw me sprinting. Telepathically, I sent him a message, "Please keep it open five more seconds!"

He must have heard me and motioned with his other hand to keep coming. For an instant I thought it would be the greatest practical joke to make me run all the way there, only to "accidentally" close the door at the last moment. He would smile and say, "Oops. Did I do that?" To my relief, nothing like that happened. As I reached the first steps, the kind conductor smiled and said, "Welcome aboard. Good hustle!"

I recently renewed my driver's license and the replacement card arrived yesterday. It has my new address and new photo, but they didn't update my weight, so my old high school weight remains. Thirteen years ago, I was fifteen pounds lighter than I am today. If you believe the camera adds ten pounds, I actually appear 25 pounds heavier than stated.

The new card design has the main photo on the left and the same photo, faded and a quarter of the size, on the right. Isn't technology great? They've now managed to squeeze two bad photos of me onto one card.

First off, thank you all for the birthday wishes. I truly appreciate them.

I spent the Labor Day weekend camping and hiking in Sequoia & Kings Canyon National Parks. I haven't had time to sit down and write about it properly, but I thought it would be cool (and easier) to summarize the trip by numbers, in no particular order:

Highways taken: 101, 152, 99, 180
Hours driving there: 3.5
Price for gallon of gas: $2.09
Hours spent in parks: 45
Miles hiked: 18
Hiking companions: 2
Number of times lost: 3
Waterfalls seen: 5
Bears seen: 0
Deer seen: 4
Elevation (in feet) of camp: 6,589
Highest elevation climbed: 8,044
Liters of water consumed on the trail: 7
Liters of Gatorade consumed: 2.5
Number of granola bars eaten: 8
Number of pictures taken: 198
Number of pictures of me: 8
Number of good pictures: 190
Price of a double caramel latte at village coffee cart: $4.00
Number of times hearing Kylie Minogue's "Can't Get You Out of My Head" : 5
Hours with television, internet or cell phone reception: 0

It all equaled a great weekend.