December 2002 Archives

I don't know if I mentioned this before, but there is a noticeable generation gap in our office. One that I have the great fortune of bridging. So while I can enjoy arcades and drinks at Dave & Buster's a week ago, I can also enjoy a party with gumbo and adult conversations the next week. How I wish I could express how happy an evening I had with such good company. It is the closest I come to experiencing what it would be like to grow up in a big family. sigh

Christmas Day was spent at my house this year. It was the first major celebration in my new pad and I was a little freaked out. When I say major, I don't mean it by the number of people that were there. It was major in terms of family tradition. As my sister and I get older, I think my mom works harder to keep certain traditions alive and I find myself trying to help her to that end.

Everybody received very nice gifts, though pajamas and socks seemed to be the main theme for my sister and dad. A major no-no came to light when my mom revealed that my dad asked her to wrap her own gift! Bad... very bad. I attempted to drag my parents into the new century by getting them a DVD player. The first movie they watched was from my own 4-DVD "collection".

My best gifts were the George Foreman Grill and a first aid kit. I don't know exactly what message was they were trying to send, but I just want to say that I can cook without injuring myself, really. It was pure coincidence that we went out for dinner. Nothing says Christmas more than Chinese food, so we ended the holiday with a small feast at my parents' favorite Chinese restaurant.

The sky may be overcast and the air a bit chilly, but it all doesn't really matter. The family will be here soon and gifts will be exchanged. We will laugh and enjoy each other's company while holiday music plays in the background. We will eat good food and take plenty of pictures. And after the last guest has left and the last wrapping paper has been recycled, I will sit back and think about how wonderfully warm this Christmas day has been. Merry Christmas, everyone!

I saw The Two Towers earlier today. There had been so much hype around this film, I was expecting to be let down. Instead, I was blown away. The battle scenes, the music, the landscapes, the storyline and the attention to detail come together to make a beautiful movie. It didn't take me long to pick up where the first installment left me and get swept away by this sequel. Legolas (Orlando Bloom) was cool, but Aragorn (Viggo Mortensen) rocked. The movie moved me to finish re-reading Tolkien's classic. The only bad news is that there is a twelve month wait before the trilogy's finale is shown.

This is my first entry using Movable Type. I have been attempting to get this up and running all day. It has been no easy task. I finally got it working in between wrapping gifts, eating meals and drinking coffee.

Tomorrow, I see The Two Towers. I can't wait. I have been reading a little of the book over the last couple of days and listening to the soundtrack from the first installment. I just hope I don't overdose on Tolkien before I actually sit down in the theater.

After I get home tomorrow, I will have to finish cleaning my house. I volunteered to host Christmas at my house this year. I may have done so during a momentary lapse in sanity. I just hope there are enough chairs, snacks and refreshments for everybody. Family plans call for eating dinner out. This is good news to me because I really didn't want to put my cooking inabilities to the test.

Last night, E, J and I went to Dave & Buster's for a pre-furlough celebration. More folks were supposed to come, but sickness and the nasty weather claimed last minute casualties.

The place was pretty packed and we grabbed a couple drinks when we first arrived. There weren't any billiard tables available (all of them had been reserved!), so we hit the arcades. I will say right now, I was simply awful at everything... shoot-em ups, racing cars, racing motorcycles and racing boats. Maybe, if someone would buy me a PS2, I could put in some quality practice time. ;p

After all of that, we checked out the Great Mall. There was a huge indoor skateboard park, the first one I had ever seen. The ramps were massive and kids were flying up and down the halfpipes with little effort. I was amazed. After a little more window shopping, we finished the night off by grabbing a bite to eat at Johnny Rockets.

I had such a great time, but the long day and the long drive home wiped me out. I think I was out cold when my head hit the pillow.

I feel the dream in me expire
and there's no one left to blame it on
I hear you label me a liar
'cause I can't seem to get this through
You say it's over, I can sigh again, yeah
Why try to stay sober when I'm dying here

And I am aware now of how
everything's gonna be fine one day
Too late, I'm in hell
I am prepared now,
seems everyone's gonna be fine
One day too late; just as well

- from "Fine Again" by Seether

This sinking feeling
Coming as you leave
Only for a while
Feeling like forever

Being there with you
Listening, laughing
Those little moments
Always made me smile

I vowed to myself
I would not be hurt
I would stay untouched
By the thought of you

Oh, but here I am
Breaking my promise
Finding myself with
This sinking feeling

I really wish it could snow around here, unfortunately that is almost a physical impossibility. Song on my mind... "Snowfall" by Claude and Ruth Thornhill. sigh

Gently
Softly
Silent
Snowfall

Covering trees
Misty lights
Velvet breezes
'Neath my window

Drift down
Drift down
Drift down
Snowfall

• Could ornaments be any more fragile?
• What if you don't have a chimney?
• Who puts the snow in snowglobes?
• Just what is figgy pudding?
• Does anyone eat fruitcake?
• Who tangles the lights?

Last night was the opening night of The Nutcracker, presented by Ballet San Jose Silicon Valley. The orchestra sounded wonderful, better than ever before since the new acoustical shell was recently installed at the Center for the Performing Arts. I simply love Tchaikovsky's music. According to the program notes (yes, I read those), the version I saw had totally new choreography by the artistic director, Dennis Nahat. My two favorite scenes came in Act II. They were entitled "The Land of the Shifting Sands" and "The Land of the Ivory Pagoda". The San Francisco Ballet also has an annual performance of The Nutcracker, which I hope to see next year.

There is a little project out there called the Mayfly Project. It asks readers to sum up their year with exactly twenty words. So here is my 2002 in 20...

worked hard, fell hard, withdrew,
bought house, rediscovered independence, laughed,
hiked, discovered solitude, sighed, found weblogs,
awoke suddenly, sought redemption

All of us wait, waiting, waiting
The soil and streams and plants and trees
Rooftops and sidewalks and pavement
Expecting, anticipating

Gray clouds slowly gather above
Hover ever so patiently
Hoping for the coming command
To let go, to release, to rain

I just made the last train to Morgan Hill after attending the Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony at Christmas in the Park in San Jose. For those of you who don't know, this annual event has been going on for 23 years and is held at Cesar Chavez Park in downtown, between the Fairmont Hotel and the Tech Museum. It is one of the city's biggest seasonal attractions.

There are plenty of lighted and automated displays (they even have their own music), food vendors and a center stage for nightly musical performances. The major tradition, from my point of view, is the forest of Christmas trees that are decorated by the local high schools, Boy Scout and Girl Scout troops and other community groups.

The ceremonies started around 5:30 PM with the emcee being Jon Farley, the NBC 11 weatherman. I braced myself for some bad weather humor, but it never came. There was, however, a slight drizzle and some fake snow.

The Lincoln High School Chamber Chorale performed a number of traditional Christmas carols that were only marred by the airplanes that passed overhead every 3 or 4 minutes. There were the unfortunate sing-a-longs that had minimum audience participation. The crowd, by the way, was made up of many young families with little children, young couples out on a Friday night and many Sharks fans who were there to catch the lighting before tonight's game.

There were a couple of guys next to me who were waiting for the tree to be lit. They would yell out at the end of each carol, "Light the Christmas tree!" It became a theme as we then listened to a speech by the Mayor, Ron Gonzales. Mayor Ron took the opportunity to let us all know that for the third year in a row, San Jose has been declared the safest big city in the U.S. by the FBI. While I was happy to hear that, I worried that his stating that fact would jinx the whole town.

After his speech, there were a couple more yells for lighting the tree. Instead, the city's Postmaster presented the new holiday stamps and encouraged everybody to buy it for mailing out this year's Christmas cards. The guys that had been yelling decided they needed a beer before the Sharks game and left for a nearby bar.

The kids on the other side of me were getting punchy and asking their mom, "When are they going to light the tree?" It looked liked they were, but instead the chorale came back and sang a few more songs.

I looked at my watch. It was 6:10 PM. I needed to start heading to the train station soon. I could hang around another ten minutes. The chorale looked like it had another twenty minutes of material in them. I was starting to worry, when suddenly, by some divine intervention, they abruptly finished.

The weatherman came back up, with the mayor, to let everybody know, that "This is being timed with NBC 11's news broadcast and we are expected to light the tree at exactly 6:20 PM." I groaned, that was exactly when I needed to leave. I snapped another photo, wiped the raindrops from my glasses and waited. Farley was now talking about rehearsing the countdown to the tree lighting, stalling for time. We all counted down from 10 just for good measure, just in case none of us had ever witnessed this phenomenon at, oh, New Year's Eve.

The time finally came, the actual countdown went off without a problem and everybody cheered as the 55-foot tree was lit. I took a quick picture as I sprinted to the last shuttle heading for the train station.

I am becoming aware that I have the annoying habit of writing what I feel and then censoring or revising it. It goes beyond grammar and spelling, which I believe should be done just for readability's sake. The self-editing is my own personal spin control. From here on out, I am aiming for less spin and more truth.

I haven't been able to get Eminem's "Lose Yourself" out of my head. It is on the 8 Mile soundtrack, which is now on my music wishlist. Here is a taste of the chorus...

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

The song resonates with my current frame of mind. Undertaking something without holding back, pursuing a goal or vision, taking the risk, taking the chance, all because the rewards are just too good to pass up, because the alternative isn't an option.

I now own a copy Lilo and Stitch on DVD. I really got a kick out of the movie, especially the animation style and the beautiful watercolor backgrounds. I loved the soundtrack, which brings together Hawaiian music, Elvis songs, and classic film scores. The film is an original that lives up to the old Disney standard, unlike the painfully mediocre animated sequels (Cinderella II, Peter Pan II). I shudder at the thought of those "movies".

I'm finally in the mood for Christmas. Not that I have much choice, it's coming whether I'm ready or not. This year, it just seems as though the holidays have been thrust in my face. Stores and television commercials were ringing sleigh bells while I was trying to finish my Halloween candy.

Christmas is coming fast and furiously. I have yet to send out my Christmas cards. I should get them in the mail right quick. I've decided this year to send e-cards to those friends I haven't kept in touch with in a while. So much can happen in a span of a couple of years. I am curious to find out what is going in their lives.

I'm in the mood for bowling. I haven't bowled for so long, at least a year. I feel the need to knock down a few pins, but I will wait until after my crazy gift shopping spree before splurging on such recreation.

I'm in the mood to shoot some pool. I would love to own a pool table one day. I picked up the game in college. It was a great diversion between classes. I need to see if there is a pool hall in Morgan Hill.

I'm in the mood for Japanese food. There is Hiromi's Japanese Restaurant just a few blocks from my house. I've been meaning to eat there. I'm going to add that to my eating list for after the holidays.

Many of the online journals that I read are catalysts for me. They pique my curiosity to listen to different music (They Might Be Giants or Aimee Mann), read other authors (like May Sarton or Nick Hornby's High Fidelity) and see other movies (I'm really looking forward to Hero). They open my eyes to different points-of-view... well-articulated, funny, insightful points-of-view. Some reaffirm that the doubts I feel are not mine alone, but doubts shared by others as well. I appreciate and admire them all. They are people who are willing to show and share themselves and their lives. They inspire and motivate me.

Book on my coffee table... Journal of a Solitude by May Sarton.

After a morning run for a mocha, I ran across K2, who works in a different division than me. We got to talk for a few blocks, it was a comfortable but short conversation. Too short. Perhaps I should walk slower.

Our office is having a potluck on the 13th, which always raises the question, "What do I bring?" I am tempted to bring eggnog. I better get to the sign-up list fast, before someone else writes that down.