October 2002 Archives

I'm guessing that by the time I get home, most of the trick-or-treating will be done in my neighborhood. Ahh... the joys of working late, with no overtime. Being on my own and in a new house, I was actually looking forward to passing out candy. I'll have to wait until next year. I wonder if the candy will keep that long. ha!

How about that? I'm out of breath, sweaty, and I barely made the train. I had planned to leave with plenty of time to spare, but last-minute conversations cause last-minute quarter-mile dashes. I'm having way too much fun.

I attempted to plan out my day, but events quickly overtook me, starting with a surprise 9:00 AM meeting that lasted until noon. A surprise meeting is like a pop quiz. You are expected to have understandable answers and printed material ready at a moment's notice about the latest and greatest project.

In a given half-hour, you assemble an executive summary, make a mental list of possible questions and suitable answers, print an ungodly number of color charts and schedules, and then panic. With all of that done, you run into the meeting room and inevitably one of two things happens...

1. Nobody asks you any questions or reads any of your material.
2. Everybody asks you questions you were unprepared for and there aren't enough handouts to go around.

Both incidents are unwanted and yet unstoppable. Both also leave you thinking, "Why do I put myself through this craziness?!" You can organize and plan all you want, giving yourself a false sense of control, but there will always be the surprises and general chaos to throw you off-guard. The chaos you can't control.

goodbye to control
it's such an illusion
hello to the truth of my need

- from "When I Close My Eyes" by The Basics

I watched Skate America. Michelle Kwan skated in this competition as a replacement for Sarah Hughes*, who missed the event due to injury. Ann Patrice McDonough, another American skater, put together a solid performance, which won her second place.
* Hughes put together a once-in-a-lifetime performance at the 2002 Olympics to beat out Kwan for the gold medal.

The heartbreaker of Sunday was the Giants losing the World Series to the Angels in Game 7. Everything felt fine until the seventh inning of Game 6, when Anaheim hit that critical three-run home run. At that very moment, I felt this wave of impending doom wash over me and I just couldn't bear to watch anymore.

• the Giants lost
• illogically, their loss has bummed me out and I feel bitter
• this was most likely Barry Bonds' first and last chance for a World Series ring
• the deafening thunder sticks and the wild rally monkey will be back next season

• according to baseball experts (whoever they are), the Giants were the least likely postseason team to make it to the World Series
• the Giants won 3 games, including the 16 run Angels clobbering
• Bonds did make it to a World Series
• Bonds walked 13 times, had 4 home runs, and was on base 70% of the time
• a California team still won, showing that West Coast baseball teams rock

After giving up on the Giants game on Saturday (agghh!), I went with D to Gyro's 3D Fear Factory in the Sunnyvale Town Center. I hadn't been to a haunted house in a while, so the whole thing was rather unnerving. There was screaming, spooky music, clanging and banging, people jumping out of dark corners, fog machines, blood and body parts. All good fun. What I found scarier, though, was the $17 ticket price.

Earlier in the day, I watched the DVD version of Monsters, Inc. that, oddly enough, looks exactly the same as the VHS version.

In Survivor news... Robb, the dork with a grudge against Shii Ann, was finally voted off. The night before his departure, he professed to his tribe mates that the experience had "changed his life" and that he suddenly realized the importance of "family, life, and love". The tribe voted Robb off anyway.

Moral of the Story: One day of being a nice guy does not erase 17 days of being a dumbass.

Game 5 of the World Series was huge for the Giants, with a 16-4 win. Jeff Kent came out of his postseason slump and blasted two two-run homers. It initially looked like the Angels were going to make a trademark comeback, but the Giants responded by widening the lead.

It should be noted that San Francisco doesn't have a rally monkey. Instead, it has the rally chicken. Fans twirl a rubber chicken above their heads whenever the opposition walks Barry Bonds. Said twirling is usually accompanied by an appropriate chicken dance.

Game 6 is tomorrow, back in Anaheim. I am really hoping that the Giants can pull it off. They haven't won a World Series in 48 years (that would be since 1954 for you math buffs) and have never won since moving to San Francisco.

Song on my mind... "Disease" by Matchbox Twenty

I find that I am rather predictable on the train. I might not get on at the same time, but I sit in relatively the same spot. Most riders, I think, have informally assigned seating in the mornings. If you were to look around each day, you would see people sitting in the same seat. I dread to imagine how somebody's day could be thrown off if somebody else sat in their seat. As a minor revolt against my predictability, I sat on the lower deck, right under where I normally sit. Okay, it is only six feet lower, baby steps... baby steps.

As a side note, a new addition to the 7:22 AM Train Show is Fashion Mag Girl, who sits on the second level and reads all types of fashion magazines.

Song on my mind... "Umbrella" by Picnic

I finally saw Monsters, Inc. over the weekend. I thought the movie was clever and funny. Jon Goodman and Billy Crystal were a riot. The computer animation was excellent (simulated hair never looked so real). I loved the songs and soundtrack by Randy Newman. The two shorts, "For the Birds" and "Mike's New Car", were roll-on-the-floor hilarious.

Trust me, the Friday Five could not come fast enough. This week, it is all about television, so here we go...

1. How many TVs do you have in your home?
Three. A new 27" Sony, a small television/vcr combo (a gift from a generous neighbor) and a smaller black & white that I'm "borrowing" from my sister.

2. On average, how much TV do you watch in a week?
Way too much. I counted 12 hours of shows that I consider "must-see" television. Very, very bad.

3. Do you feel that television is bad for young children?
Generally, no. There are plenty of solid educational and entertaining shows out there for young kids. Too much television, though, is definitely bad, especially if it is not balanced with plenty of sunlight, water and outdoor activities.

4. What TV shows do you absolutely HAVE to watch, and if you miss them, you're heartbroken?
Smallville, Scrubs, Firefly and Whose Line is it Anyway?.

5. If you had the power to create your own television network, what would your line-up look like?
Start with anything from Gene Roddenberry (Star Trek), add anything from Joss Whedon (Buffy), hold everything from David E. Kelley (Ally McBeal), sprinkle it with superheroes, smart comedies and improv, then stir!

For me, growing up on television was part of the family bonding ritual. It is a family custom to eat dinner together in front of the television. For my parents, it is their form of relaxation and entertainment.

I recall times when my mom would get mad and question why my sister or I weren't watching television with the family. If either of us wanted to go out and asked her to tape a show, she would often refuse. It was as if she thought we were being disrespectful to her and the family if we weren't participating in the "custom". I also remember her not being happy if we decided to watch something else in a different room. She would say, "Why are there so many TVs on? You're wasting electricity. Turn some of them off."

That is what I seriously need to do now, turn the the television off. Better yet, never turn it on in the first place.

I just don't care anymore
I've reached the end of the road
I just don't care anymore
Won't cry these tears anymore

- from "Can't Cry These Tears Anymore" by Garbage

I've decided to take all my thoughts of being in a rut and toss them into a box. I'm going to label the box "Self-Pity and Negativity" and hide it in a closet somewhere, so that someday I'll surprise myself with it. No good can come from dwelling on it now, so I'm back in denial mode.

I feel like I'm on a mental vacation at work. I just don't feel the drive or desire to be involved, useful or helpful. This really bothers me because I am usually all of those things. I think I'm burning out. I can't stop sighing and that can't be good. I feel like I'm slipping full tilt into slacker mode.

I'm in a rut and need to get out of it. I need a change and I need to change. I wish I had more time and energy. If I did, I would: exercise more, hike more, learn the guitar and learn Cantonese.

Song on my mind... "When You Say Nothing At All" by Ronan Keating

The song was mentioned over at daydreamy and I happened to have the mp3 on my computer to play a couple of times.

The price of 20 bags of Celestial Green Tea is $3.49 plus tax (including two free bags of Tuscany Orange Spice). The price of 20 bleacher seats at PacBell Park for World Series Game #3, $1,200 plus handling and convenience fees.

Fortunately, the limit is four tickets per person, which means if I had purchased the lower box seats, like I intended, it would have only cost me $580 plus handling and convenience fees. The only thing that saved me from giving up my front-row couch seats was an overtaxed server.

Today, our section had lunch a meeting at the Old Spaghetti Factory in downtown San Jose. I had the fettucine alfredo and a delicious bowl of cream of broccoli soup. Fascinating, I know.

Song on my mind... "Mobile" by Avril Lavigne

everything's changing when I turn around
all out of my control I'm a mobile

The big up of the day was an unexpected lunch at the International House of Pancakes, a.k.a. IHOP, with C, E and J. They are the young crowd (twenty-somethings) in the office. It is nice to have lunch with people closer to my own age for a change. Most of my coworkers are older, which always puts me on my best behavior. It is good to be able to just relax and have fun.

Useless factoid: Teriyaki sauce and cheese taste surprisingly good together, especially in a Teriyaki Mushroom Cheeseburger.

I am sipping an iced venti black tea while it is a breezy 55 degrees outside. I recall asking the barista at Starbucks for a hot black tea, but I guess "hot" sounds like "iced" when the jazz is playing loudly. Next time, I'll be sure to ask for "really, really hot tea, with no ice and I mean it, hold the ice!"

The dark skies give way to the morning light. Houses and buildings seem to float by. Streetlights glow brightly and trees sway slightly in the gentle breeze. The rhythm and hum of the train is quiet and steady.

Passengers pass the time in relative silence. Some read novels or the morning edition, some sip coffee, others take in the view and a few nap peacefully as the train travels to San Francisco.

Last night I missed Everwood, which is quickly becoming one of my favorite new shows. I know, I should have outgrown the whole sappy family and teen angst dramas by now, but I really can't help myself sometimes. I only caught the last 10 minutes of it, so I had no idea what was going on. Thanks to the WB's Easy View, I can catch the episode's rebroadcast this Sunday. Major props to creative programming.

Song on my mind... "I Feel Good" by James Brown

Some years back, it was the San Francisco Giants' theme song. Tonight's victory got me thinking back to 1989, the last time the Giants had been to the World Series. That series was nicknamed the Bay Bridge series or Earthquake series, when the 7.1 magnitude Loma Prieta Earthquake struck. The Oakland A's swept the Giants that year.

Today was a rather ordinary day. The weather was fine and I was fine, but it is amazing how a simple baseball game can transform ordinary into exhilarating and memorable. The Giants' victory over the Cardinals was today's moment. San Francisco somehow eliminated St. Louis in five games.

Matt Morris, the Cardinal pitcher, had allowed only one run the entire game, masterfully silencing Giants hitting. The game was tied 1-1 going into the ninth inning and there were two outs. David Bell and Shawon Dunston hit back to back singles. Tony LaRussa, the former A's manager, brought in Steve Kline to face Kenny Lofton. Lofton stroked the first pitch he saw into right field, Bell raced around third and slid headfirst across home plate to win the game! Utterly awesome!!

Though the media had focused on Barry Bonds the entire postseason, it was guys like Rich Aurilia, Benito Santiago (the MVP), J.T. Snow, Felix Rodriguez and Tim Worrell that really caused trouble for Atlanta and St. Louis. It goes to show that the key to a winning team and winning effort is a combination of stars and everyday guys who work hard and work together.

Tickets to the 2002 World Series are going on sale Wednesday morning. Seat prices start at $60 for bleacher seats. I am seriously considering grabbing four seats, just in case it takes the Giants another 13 years to get here again.

Aww... this is my first Friday Five, so let's see how successful I am, shall we?

1. If you could only choose 1 CD to ever listen to again, what would it be?
Good golly, how do you expect me to choose just one!? If you twisted my arm, I'd say What A Crying Shame by the Mavericks.

2. If you could only choose 2 movies to watch ever again, what would they be?
The Princess Bride and The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring.

3. If you could only choose 3 books to read ever again, what would they be?
Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand, The Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien and Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.

4. If you could only choose 4 things to eat or drink ever again, what would they be?
Chinese broccoli and black mushrooms, coffee, water, and minestrone soup.

5. If you could only choose 5 people to ever be/talk/associate/whatever with ever again, who would they be?
I'm not brave enough to touch this one.

• John Cusack (Grosse Pointe Blank, Being John Malkovich, High Fidelity)
• Owen Wilson (Shanghai Noon, I-Spy, any movie with Ben Stiller)
• Leslie Nielsen (Airplane, the Naked Gun series, Spy Hard)
• Cary Elwes (The Princess Bride, Robin Hood: Men in Tights)
• Ben Stiller (Meet the Parents, Zoolander, Mystery Men)
• Ryan Reynolds (Van Wilder)

Tonight is Survivor night. As usual, I catch an earlier train home to drive over to my parents' place. I eat dinner there and get my Survivor fix. My least favorite player is Robb and my favorite is Shii Ann (mainly because she calls Robb out on his stupidity). I also get caught up on The Amazing Race, which I think is one of the few good reality shows out there.

Song on my mind... "The Zephyr Song" by The Red Hot Chili Peppers

Why doesn't Caltrain put cupholders with every seat? My latte would feel so much more comfortable with its very own spot.

As I write this, the Giants game is well underway. I'm thinking good thoughts for San Francisco...

I worry a whole lot. I worry more than I should about the small things. To illustrate my point, the following worries took place this morning before getting on the train...

The alarm goes off at 6:15 AM. I consider resetting it to 6:30 AM, but I worry that it won't go off again (it has done that before) and I'll miss the train. I get up.

I put on some socks and suddenly worry that today will be the day that my dress shoes finally fall apart. I ponder for a moment and then set out my tennis shoes.

I then worry that I'll look dorky if I am wearing tennis shoes with regular dress slacks. I look through my jeans and see three pairs: black, light blue and dark blue. The black one is way too tight and makes me look skinnier than I already am. The light blue one has a manufacturer's discoloration, which really draws attention to a place I don't want attention. I pull out the dark blue pair.

I set my security alarm, close the door and lock it. I immediately worry that I didn't turn off the bathroom light. I unlock the door, race back in, turn the light off and race back out before the alarm finishes setting.

I get into my car and start the engine. I worry that I didn't lock the door. I jump out of the car, lock the door and jump back into the car. I look at the clock. I have just enough time to get to the train station.

I speed to the station and make it with a couple of minutes to spare. I wait for the train. Purple Backpack Girl appears* at the station. I've been meaning to say something to her, but I have no idea what. I worry that I will say something stupid. I say nothing and get on the train.
* Literally appears. You look away for a split second and she is suddenly there.

• SJSU Girl, she usually has a backpack and a bag or two and listens to her Walkman.
• Front-Seat Lady, she occupies two seats in the upper deck, one for her and the other for her bag and feet.
• Laptop Guy #1, he plays 3DO's Heroes of Might and Magic 3.
• Bellarmine Boys, a whole heap of guys from Bellarmine Prep take the train. One group has their daily card game in the bicycle car.
• IBM Twins, they don't look alike, but they wear the same IBM jacket every morning.
• Fife Guy, he plays the fife in the parking lot, at the station, on the train (softly) and walking to work. He knows many marching tunes.
• Walking Judge, he walks to his courtroom every morning.
• Red-Headed Girl, she works downtown and walks very fast.
• Purple Backpack Girl, she heads downtown and walks even faster.
• Skateboard Guy, he has a shaved head and a long skateboard.
• Laptop Guy #2, he watches various DVDs.
• Knitting Girl, she knits like crazy.
• Jansport Girl, her nose is in a book from the moment she sits down.
• Red-Headed Asian Girl, she is not to be confused with Red-Headed Girl and she dresses with style.

I must admit that I was stressing out last night over a simple baseball game. The Giants managed to make it to the National League Playoffs, despite Robb Nen's best effort to blow the save. Barry Bonds hit another home run and scored two runs to help eliminate Atlanta. It is off to St. Louis on Wednesday. Go G-Men!!

The highlight of the weekend came from Major League Baseball. The San Francisco Giants held off the Atlanta Braves to stay alive for Game 5 (thanks to Rich Aurilia and Livan Hernandez). Tonight, the Giants' Russ Ortiz (who bullied Atlanta in Game 1) faces the Braves' Millwood (who dominated SF in Game 2). Go Giants!!

Over the weekend, I watched Amelie on DVD. It was a great movie. Audrey Tautou played the title character and she reminded me a lot of Audrey Hepburn. I fell absolutely in love with the soundtrack.

I also saw Memento, with Guy Pearce (from the excellent movie L.A. Confidential). While I didn't have a problem with the movie, my family was confused by the storytelling technique and alleged plot inconsistencies.

This is my first journal entry. I am writing it on an outdated Palm V at the San Jose train station, waiting for the 6:15 PM train to Morgan Hill. I am using one of those nifty portable keyboards to type, seeing that I am horrible at using the stylus.

I was reading online journals during my lunch hour. It re-ignited my desire to start one of my own. It happened rather randomly. I was surfing the web when I ran across the wilco journals. His journal linked to an extensive series of other journals by Asians or Asian Americans.

As a bit of background, I am of Asian descent. My mom is Chinese and my dad is mainly Swedish. I relate more to my Chinese heritage. At least, I like to think so.

For the record, I am known for losing interest in undertakings like this one, so if this journal doesn't go beyond October, you'll know the reason.