Mon Ami Gabi (Or, We'll Always Have Faux Paris)

Upon our return from Valley of Fire State Park, we wandered the Strip in search of food and came upon Mon Ami Gabi, a full-scale restaurant at the base of the half-scale Eiffel Tower of Paris Las Vegas.




I was in the mood for breakfast and they were still serving brunch, so we gave it a try. They sat us on the veranda with a view of the Bellagio fountains and the traffic crawling along Las Vegas Boulevard.

Every thirty minutes, the fountains came to life and the water danced to music by artists like Celine Dion and Frank Sinatra. Every ten minutes, a billboard truck drove by, advertising showgirls, who also dance to music by Celine and Frank-caliber artists (I can only assume).

As for the meal itself, I had the Eggs Benedict and a glass of Riesling. Both arrived promptly and both were quite good. Service was fine until the couple at the next table started monopolizing our server's time with small talk. Between the time we asked for the check and received it, the billboard truck had circled the block once. Other than that, our dining experience was excellent, and I would highly recommend the restaurant.

After lunch, we took a relaxing stroll through Faux Paris. If we ever return to Vegas, this is the place I want to stay.




Gondola Ride (Or, Going, Going, Gondola)

From Paris, we walked down the block and visited Venice. (Only in Vegas!) We followed the canal in The Venetian until we found the ticket office for the gondola rides. Tickets are $64 for a private gondola or $16 per person for a shared gondola.

We only had to wait a few minutes before boarding. Our gondolier was a young olive-skinned man with black hair and what conventional wisdom would call boyish enthusiasm. Before our ride began, a professional photographer took our photos, which made me think, "What a small world."

The ride began with get-to-know-you chatting, which was nice. We then glided quietly along the canal for a minute or two; the only sound coming from the water as the oar passed through it. The ride would have been more than enjoyable if it had continued that way, but most people expect more, which is why the gondolier broke the spell and asked if there was an Italian song he could sing for us.

With eagerness, the woman across from us said, "That's Amore". A second later, people on the waterfront and on the bridges were stopping and staring at our gondolier as his rich voice echoed off the Venetian sky with, "When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie. That's amore!"

I smiled meekly the whole time and avoided eye contact whenever possible. It's amazing the architectural detail one notices when one is focused on nothing else. Any thought of taking photos during the ride vanished in a wave of self-consciousness and paralysis.

After he finished singing, our gondolier asked for another song title. The woman across from us looked at me expectantly. The only song I could think of was "Con Te Partiro", but that seemed so cliched, I couldn't bring myself to say it.

Unfazed by the silence, our gondolier cleared his throat and began singing "Speak Softly Love" from The Godfather. His voice was melodious and he sang every note with the passion of somebody whose dream stretched beyond the canals of The Venetian. When the last note faded, he took a breath and launched right into "Belle Notte" from The Lady and The Tramp. It was during this song when we ran into trouble.

We were waiting our turn to dock when our gondolier inexplicably started paddling in reverse. The gondola slid backwards and under a metal lion head protruding from the canal wall. This would have been fine except for the steady stream of water pouring from the lion's mouth.

By the time the gondolier realized his error and maneuvered the gondola away from the wall, it was too late. Our feet were wet, our seat was wet, and M's lower half was soaked. Luckily, she had grabbed her camera bag before the water could reach it.

The gondolier apologized profusely and repeatedly. The Venetian then witnessed the fastest gondola docking in hotel history. We were hurried off the boat, which was promptly taken out of service to be dried. After a brief, but stern talk with the manager, we received a full refund and more apologies.

It wasn't exactly how I wanted our gondola ride to go, but it certainly made for a memorable experience.