Running Just as Fast as He Can

"Tom Cruise runs funny."

M says this last night while we're watching Mission: Impossible III.

"He does?" I reply noncommittally. I consider myself a fairly good observer, but the way people run isn't something I typically notice when watching movies. Apparently, it's something M does.

From that point forward, I find myself focusing on the way Ethan Hunt (a.k.a. Mr. Cruise) runs – the way he kicks his legs too high and pumps his arms too hard, the way he leans back while keeping his back as straight as a board, and the way his eyes and stiff neck bulge as he exerts himself.

"You know, maybe he does," I finally say after watching him a few seconds. "He kind of reminds me of that sprinter, what's his name, Michael Johnson. He's like the shorter, whiter version of Michael Johnson."

As I say this, a horrible image of Cruise running in a formfitting sprint suit races across my brain. I shudder.

The longer I focus on him, the funnier he seems to run. Then it dawns on me that most of the movie is Tom Cruise running.

If you don't believe me, just take a peek at the pie chart I baked up based on a minute-by-minute analysis of the movie.

Of course, now I'm going to have to watch every other action movie Cruise has ever been in to see if he has always run this way or if his unique technique is only a recent development.