I watched last night's Emmy Awards because, well, it was the remote control's night off and the television doesn't like to be touched. That's what happens when your set develops a keen aversion to germs. I would have changed the channel, but it's always unnerving to see the television wipe itself down with disinfectant afterwards.

Instead of general rambling, like I did last year, I thought I'd try a more structured approach to summarize my sentiments using Hits and Misses.

Hits:

Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart: When the duo presented for Best Actor in a Comedy Series, they targeted the greenness of the Emmys, a point of pride with the Academy. Colbert came out using a leaf blower. After Stewart chastised him for using such an environmentally unfriendly device, Colbert revealed that it was powered using an alternative fuel: Al Gore's tears. Ricky Gervais won, but since he wasn't there, the pair let their pal, Steve Carell, accept the award on his behalf.

Elaine Stritch: She and Stan Tucci won for Best Guest in a Comedy Series. Instead of getting a chance to accept on live television, they presented. Stritch was hilarious. She and Tucci were on stage for no more than a minute when Stritch unsuccessfully tried to stifle a yawn. Then she had trouble reading the teleprompter and at one point said something to the effect that, "I'm not faking this. I really don't know what the hell I'm doing." Poor Stan looked lost the entire time.

Terry O'Quinn: The Lost star won for Best Supporting Actor in a Drama Series. I was rooting for either him or Masi Oka of Heroes to win.

Jeremy Piven: My favorite actor on a television show I don't watch (Entourage) won for the second time in a row as Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series.

Helen Mirren: She won for Best Actress in a Miniseries for Prime Suspect, a British show that airs on PBS. Unlike almost every other winner, she actually had to coax the orchestra to start playing so she could leave the stage.

Ellen DeGeneres: She was expected to introduce a segment, but ended up having to improvise for nearly a minute while crew members scrambled to get the teleprompter up and running. For a second, I thought she had actually taken over hosting duties from Ryan Seacrest.

Misses:

Ryan Seacrest: The show's host was affable when he was on, but he was rarely on. In fact, I think Wayne Brady and the Jersey Boys occupied the stage longer than Seacrest. May we please have Conan O'Brien back next year?

Kanye West: He and Rainn Wilson participated in an awkward singing contest that I'm guessing was an abbreviated version of Wayne Brady's show, Don't Forget the Lyrics. Wilson was brilliant, but it was five minutes the 3-hour-and-11-minute-long award show could have done without.

Theater-in-the-Round: At first, I liked the idea of a circular stage surrounded by an audience, but as the night progressed, it became apparent that Fox wasn't making good use of it and everybody who took the stage seemed uncomfortable with it. If used again, they need to have more than one microphone and camera. The best feature of the stage: the trapdoor in the middle.

The Jersey Boys: Their performance was amazing, but what Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons has to do with The Sopranos is still a mystery to me. Was Valli ever part of the mob? Did Tony Soprano ever sing falsetto in a quartet?

Tony Bennett and Christina Aguilera: The pairing actually worked, but the song, "Stepping Out With My Baby", was too stilted and mellow to provide much punch.

Sally Field: She was frenetic and flustered on stage as she accepted her award for Best Actress in a Drama Series. It was painful to watch as she shouted down the music and tried to finish saying whatever it was she was trying to say.

Censorship: At three points in the show, Fox interrupted the broadcast with some bizarre shot of the auditorium in silence. I initially thought it was a wrong camera cue. I finally caught on that they were using it to censor disagreeable material. They used it during Ray Romano's endless presentation, during Sally Field's acceptance speech, and just as Katherine Heigl won for Best Supporting Actress in a Drama Series (she apparently swore when her name was called). I believe bleeping or cutting the audio would have been sufficient to protect sensitive ears. Cutting away completely was just confusing.