Doing Nothing

Hobbes and Calvin are sitting in the shade of a tree...
Hobbes: You know what I like about summer days? They're just made for doing things. ...Even if it's nothing.
Calvin: Especially if it's nothing.

It takes a special kind of energy to do nothing. It's an energy that keeps the legs from walking, the lips from flapping, and the fingers from drumming a dope beat on the back of the seat in front of you in public places (like the theater, bus, or police car). It's an energy that lets the ears tune out and the eyes close. It's an energy that lets the body relax and sets the mind free, but prevents the snoring from kicking in.

Sometimes, it's difficult to do nothing. With so many things to do, I'm always punting it to the bottom of the list. And it isn't like other tasks that can be done simultaneously, like scrubbing the tub and ironing bath towels. Doing nothing requires one's complete attention. Even the most diligent multitasker can't mop and do nothing at the same time. You're welcome to try, but all you'll end up with is a shiny, slippery floor and a whole lot of nothing to do afterwards.

Perhaps the reason I keep putting off doing nothing is because it's actually too easy to do. One can do nothing anywhere, at anytime. It doesn't cost a penny and doesn't harm the environment. One doesn't have to purchase special equipment or reflective gear or footwear (unless one is doing nothing in style). One doesn't need to buy special accessories or rechargeable batteries.

To be good at it doesn't require a skill, a gift, or a knack. It doesn't require practice or stretching or a thirty-minute idle period after eating.

When one does nothing, it's always the latest and greatest nothing. It doesn't require patches or upgrades. There aren't plug-ins to install or manuals to read. There's no need for a tutorial or an instructive DVD. It doesn't need an internet connection or have a next generation (Nothing Whatever.0).

As you may have worked out by now, this entry is absolute (and unadulterated) drivel. It was written with the hope that it would unblock the creative clog my mental pipes have been experiencing this past week. Think of this as the textual equivalent of industrial strength drain cleaner (now with 25% more rambling and nonsense (and 53% less humor)).