I Saw the Sign (And I Didn't)

The Sign I Saw

Every morning, on my walk to work, I pass a sandwich shop. With the exception of one thing, it looks like every other dime-a-dozen deli in this city. That one thing is the sign in the front window.

On a white, letter-sized sheet of paper taped to the glass, in center-aligned, sixty-point, Times New Roman font, are the following words, "Graffiti is a crime. All perpetrators will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law." Below this forceful statement, in the lower right-hand corner, is a signature, written legibly with a black felt tip marker: The Police.

Whenever I pass the sandwich shop, I laugh. I don't think any graffiti artist in his or her right mind is going to believe the police had anything to do with such a blatantly homemade sign. On the other hand, there isn't a speck of graffiti on the building, so maybe the deli owner is onto something.

The Sign I Didn't

Due to yesterday morning's bizarre gas tanker blast that took out the MacArthur Maze, a major highway interchange on the east side of the San Francisco Bay, all major transit systems are offering free rides today to ease the anticipated traffic nightmare.

Of course, this morning, I thought the free fare only applied to BART riders, and since there wasn't a sign posted at the Caltrain station indicating anything to the contrary, I punched my ten-ride ticket like I would on any normal day. It was only after I was on the train that I realized my mistake. It came as a nasty shock.

A conductor strolled down the aisle, stopped by my seat, and asked if I was enjoying my complimentary trip. I took a second to process his words. Then I said, "Oh, I'm enjoying it just fine. By the way, do you have a nifty gadget I could borrow to unpunch my ticket? Actually, just some tape and white-out would do." At least that's what I wanted to say. What actually came out of my mouth was, "Yes, I am."

I didn't intend to take the train home this evening, but now I will, just to recoup my morning loss. Still, it would've been nice if somebody had posted a sign at the station to let people know about the free fare. To save money, they could've hired the deli owner to make it. The sign might have read: "Alert: To all of our valued riders, fares will not be collected today. The Caltrain Mgmt p.s. Graffiti is a crime, so don't do it!"