How to Lose a Banana in 10 Steps
- Pack a ripe banana in the side pouch of your backpack to prevent it from getting smashed.
- Wear the backpack as you cross the street to work.
- Cross the street with only five seconds remaining on the crossing signal's countdown.
- Halfway across, decide it might be a good idea to sprint the rest of the way.
- Feel something hit the back of your leg as you kick into your sprint.
- At the corner, turn around and audibly gasp as you notice your banana lying helplessly in the middle of the road.
- Contemplate running into oncoming traffic to rescue your banana.
- Quickly avert your eyes and walk away as the oncoming traffic hurdles towards your banana.
- After the onslaught of tires, look back and let out a celebratory yelp as you realize your banana has miraculously survived.
- With renewed hope, run back to the intersection to save your once-doomed fruit, but then watch in slow-motion horror as a left-turning truck blows through a red light and smashes your banana, splattering yellow bits all over the asphalt.
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