Sports Movie World

It was the bottom of the ninth inning. The A's were trailing the Tigers by three runs. In the Real World, Oakland would have gone down in order, but for a moment, thanks to a high improbability field, Game 2 of the ALCS entered Sports Movie World. (They would've entered The Twilight Zone, but they were denied entrance by the Alternate Universe Border Patrol.)

In Sports Movie World, common sense and the law of physics are substituted with moral lessons and tense drama. So, instead of simply going down in order - thereby dashing any hope for an emotionally cathartic comeback - the A's loaded the bases with two outs and brought Frank Thomas, the hulking home run hitter and potential winning run, to the plate.

Unbeknownst to Thomas, though, as soon as he crossed the chalk of the batter's box, he accidentally compromised the high improbability field sustaining the existence of the alternate universe.

Had it only been a more unlikely hero stepping to the plate. Had it been a player with a low likelihood of success, someone who had recently gone on the disabled list with a lower back strain and whose prospects of returning this season were close to zero. In other words, had it only been Bobby Crosby, the game would have remained in Sports Movie World a few minutes longer.

To the overwhelming cheers of a standing crowd, Crosby, in a full back brace, would have stiffly hobbled to the plate. After a gut-wrenching swing at an outside pitch, a stomach-twisting swing at a pitch in on the hands and a life-affirming pep talk by Ken Macha as Crosby writhed on the ground in pain, he would have stood in, jaw set, tears in his eyes, and knocked the next pitch out of McAfee Coliseum for a game-ending gram slam.

But that didn't happen. The game was back in the Real World. Instead, Frank Thomas took a mighty swing at a pitch and hit a shallow fly ball to centerfield that Curtis Granderson easily caught for the last out of the game. The A's lost.

Oakland is now down two games as the series heads to Detroit. With any luck, the growing improbability of the A's beating the Tigers will cause another shift to Sports Movie World. If their hitting, pitching and fielding fail to return, a miracle in an alternate universe may be their only hope.

Funding for this entry provided by the Pseudo-Science Babble in Baseball Coalition, a non-profit organization promoting the mashing of science fiction and sports into a new and pulpy derivative genre.