Familiarity (in Spam) Breeds Contempt

I don't know who Kelley, Francesca, Milton or Sophia are, but they apparently know me or are familiar enough with me to call me baby or bro in the emails they've sent about sites they thought I would find interesting. Of course, if they really knew me, they would know that I don't like being called baby or bro. I'm okay with dude, though. I hope they won't be offended that I deleted their messages without reading them.

Two other strangers, Clinton and Elbert, recently sent me particularly personal email revealing their use of enlargement patches. They didn't specify what the patches enlarged, so I naturally assumed they were referring to the eyelid enlargers that have become all the rage. While I admire they're willingness to share their feelings of inadequacy with me, I hope they won't think I'm insensitive for deleting their messages, too. I'm just not a fan of patches and I'm quite content with my eyelids.