Shifting Thirty Minutes

Could I, if I really wanted, shift my entire day back by thirty minutes? These days, I typically fall into bed around midnight and jump out of bed around six in the morning to catch some form of public transportation (train/bus/singing stingray) to work. The ride guarantees me thirty minutes to read or write every morning, but what if I were greedy and wanted an hour? Could I squeeze an extra thirty minutes into my day before my day actually began?

I suppose the obvious answer would be yes. Nothing is physically preventing me from getting to bed thirty minutes earlier. There's nowhere I need to be and nothing I need to do at that time of night. True, I would miss Jay Leno's monologue, but if I stopped watching it, I wouldn't receive an email or a phone call or a knock at the door politely threatening me to resume my late night television viewing habits or else. And though I personally find him funny, Those-In-The-Know would likely tell me that, in truth, Leno isn't all that funny - at least not in the true Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert sense of the word - and that I would be better served dedicating some time to refining my comedy tastes and developing a keener sense of humor.

Of course, the more honest complicated answer to the original question would be no. I just have this feeling (call it a gut feeling, call it a stomach sensation, call it Earl) that I wouldn't be able to do it. Sure, I would get to bed earlier, but I would likely rise at the same time as I always do or my morning ritual would magically balloon to fill the extra time or the whole world would discover my plan and do a little thirty minute shift of its own. Something (internal or external) would prevent me from using those wanted minutes for the purpose I intended. Earl is rarely wrong about these things.

This is one of those instances, though, when it would be nice to wipe that I-told-you-so smirk from Earl's face (yes, even gut feelings can have countenances if properly anthropomorphized). So, as an experiment, I will give it a try tonight. I will be in bed by 11:30 and up by 5:30 tomorrow morning. I won't sleep in, I won't move like a sloth and I won't let the world pull any last-minute shifts. I just want to see what it would be like to have those extra thirty minutes.