If I Were Braver, I Would...

Attach a paper clip to my ear, walk around downtown and talk to myself loudly, like those folks with the new cell phones they wear on their ear. If anyone gave me a strange look, I would say, "Hey, Joe, can you hang on a moment. You, sir, what are you looking at? Haven't you seen the latest in wireless hands-free phone technology? You haven't? Well, lucky for you, I have a whole box of them. Oh, I also have a few in jumbo size that get better reception. Want one? You sure? Okay, have a nice day. Joe? You still there? Sorry about that. This guy was just looking at me as though I was crazy and talking into a paper clip or something. How rude!"