The Old Cafe

On the edge of the little town of Beansville, there used to be a cafe that sold the best coffee in the entire county. People from near and far would come for a cup of joe. Some folks took such a liking to it that they named their firstborn Joe. It was that good.

To get a cup of coffee at The Old Cafe was an ordinary thing. All a person needed to do was walk in and order one. Joseph, who regulars called Old Joe to differentiate from other Joes, would pour the hot brew, give it to the customer, ring it up on the register and take payment, usually a quarter a cup. Customers who wanted to add milk or sugar (typically the ones not from around those parts) could help themselves. The process was simple and fast.

Then one day, Old Joe passed away and his brother, Aidan, took over. Now, Aidan knew nothing of the coffee business, but had an MBA and figured that those three letters would be enough to fill his brother's shoes. He had Big Ideas.

First, he moved The Old Cafe to a bigger space in the center of town. "It will revitalize Beansville by drawing in the crowds, which will bring more business," he said.

Then, he gave the place a bigger name. "It needs a name that means something. From this day forth, The Old Cafe will be known as Customer Service Cafe!"

Finally, to go with the new name, he revamped the whole ordering process. "The way people get their coffee is antiquated. I'm going to revolutionize the way folks get a cup of joe. And while I'm at it, from now on, I'm calling it a cup of aidan!"

To get a cup of aidan at Customer Service Cafe was no ordinary thing. A person had to stand in line to order one. Jacob, Aidan's son, would complete an electronic form specifying the cup size, whether or not to add milk and/or sugar and the cup number. The customer then took the printed order slip to a second line where Aidan would exchange the slip and payment (now a dollar a cup) for a receipt and an appropriately numbered cup. The person then stood in a third line to hand the receipt and cup to Madison, Aidan's wife, who would look up the cup number in the database and fill the order. It was most certainly a revolutionary process. Antiquated expediency gave way to innovative mistakes and slower service.

Word soon spread about the legendary lines at Customer Service Cafe, now referred to as Queue Cup by grumpy locals. Folks from all over the county flocked to see the spectacle. To drum up tourism, the chamber of commerce claimed the lines were "longer and livelier than the ones in Disneyland!" Of course, with the influx of onlookers, demand for services and items, namely coffee, rose.

Competing cafes and coffee carts started sprouting up like Starbucksia, a common weed found in most towns. Places like Instant Joe, Coffee Now! and The No Wait Bistro and Waffle House started drawing away customers from Aidan's lines and soon forced him to sell the shop to Emma, Old Joe's only daughter, who had recently graduated from college.

She gave Customer Service Cafe an extreme makeover, which mainly involved putting things back the way they were and taking a sledgehammer to the neon sign outside. With time and hard work, she restored the reputation of The Old Cafe for fast service and the best coffee in the county.

(Inspired by an actual "revolutionary" non-coffee-related event.)

Random and useless trivia (my favorite type): In 1880, Joseph and Emma were the sixth most popular names for babies. In 2004, Aidan and Madison were the second most popular names. Emma topped the girls' list, but Joseph had fallen to 24th for the boys.