Procrastination and Peace

I've been stressing out lately. Feeling overwhelmed. It's funny because if I were to stop and think about it, there isn't much to be stressing out about. It's just life.

Stress is an enemy that finds its strength in my propensity for procrastination. Of course, my latest excuse for not addressing my procrastination is that I feel too overwhelmed to stop and take stock. Yes, I see the ridiculousness of it all and at some point (meaning today), I plan to stop whining and stalling and seriously tackle my to do list.

I feel like I'm in a bad television sketch. I'm the guy floundering in a body of water, splashing and flailing, yelling for help, claiming I'm drowning. The camera pulls back a little and one sees that the body of water is just a pool. It pulls back even further and one realizes that I'm a foot from the edge and next to a freckled kid who's treading water easily. He rolls his eyes and says, "Hey Mister, why don't you stop your wailing and grab the wall?"

I just feel like I've been running around constantly. This isn't a completely accurate feeling of course. Two days ago, I hardly moved a muscle as I camped out on the couch and watched the season finale of Lost. The only muscle moving was my finger on the remote. At every commercial, it would flip the channel to check the status of Ryan Seacrest's hair.

I suppose what I'm seeking is a sanctuary, somewhere where I can find some peace, separate myself from the world and get my act together. Television isn't a sanctuary; it's a distraction. This isn't to say that I don't enjoy it or find value in it, but sometimes, it isn't enough.

Ideally, one can find sanctuary within the confines of one's home. Sometimes I do. Sometimes, it just feels like there's something missing. It's incomplete. It's not yet everything I want it to be. It's coming along, but coming along slowly. I guess that's part of the reason for my unrest. I'm growing impatient with myself. I can see through my own excuses and I'm tired of them.

Well, isn't that wonderful? It all returns to procrastination. If I want some peace, the procrastinating has to stop.

Counting all the flowers
Waste the precious hours
I need to find some peace

All these problems on my mind
Make it hard for me to think
There is no way I can stop
My poor brain is gonna pop
And I don't have a purpose
Scattered on the surface
I need to find some peace