Slow Modem Woe

My modem is so slow that uploading a series of photos is a multi-day process. Last night, I diligently typed in clever captions and hurriedly rotated sideways pictures before pressing the submit button. I was rushing since American Idol was about to begin. 0% complete.

I left the computer to work its 56k magic and returned an hour later for a progress check. I did this while cycling through and dialing Fantasia's three voting numbers. 5% complete.

I decided to watch So Close. It was a seven-day rental and I had postponed seeing it for a week. The action sequences were sweet once I accepted that the effects of shattered glass and gravity were inconsequential to the filmmakers. Despite the muddled story line, the three lead actresses, especially Karen Mok, made the film enjoyable to watch. I also liked the movie more as soon as I switched the audio track from dubbed English to subtitled Cantonese. 15% complete.

I took a shower, hit the sack and fell asleep while watching Jay Leno. The last thing I remember was a biologist discussing the Crittercam. Something woke me up around three in the morning. I lazily scrounged around for the remote, rewound the tape in the VCR and watched a blurry Alanis Morissette perform "Everything" on Ellen. Halfway through the song, I remembered the computer and crawled out of bed to check it. 45% complete and the connection had been lost.

I slumped into the computer chair and contemplated setting everything back up to finish uploading, but I was suddenly too drowsy to operate the mouse and keep my eyes open simultaneously. I shut down the system, stumbled back to bed, pulled the sheets over my head and mumbled into my pillow, "Better to deal with it tomorrow."

Well, tomorrow is here and I'm dealing with it, but it isn't any better. This should be fun. Maybe it will finally motivate me to invest in high speed internet access. Just a thought. I exaggerate, of course. This is really only a minor inconvenience, but it's fun to complain. Okay, I should stop now and post this entry because my modem will need to muster all the bandwidth it can once the uploading begins.

(While looking for links, I stumbled across the news that Pepsi Smash, one of my favorite shows from last summer, will return tomorrow (May 27th) with bands like Hoobastank and Limp Bizkit. I'll go program the VCR now.)