They will sound strange, the reasons why I was sitting in that plaza, but I want to write them down, before they slip my mind, as many things have done lately.
I was there to Christmas shop, a sport I dread and play poorly. I succeeded in buying one or two gifts before succumbing to the The Return of the King soundtrack. The trilogy's conclusion is still two weeks away, but I'm hoping the music will hold me over. The album includes a song co-written and performed by Annie Lennox.
I was there to observe, attempting to see, hear and experience everything around me without being seen or affecting any of it. Pure observation is like trying to walk on a sandy beach without leaving footprints. It is impossible, as the photographer story exemplified.
I was also there in search of loneliness. I told you this would sound strange. I was set upon capturing the feeling in writing. Being alone and by myself rarely brings it about. Being alone and surrounded by strangers intensifies and prolongs it. Loneliness is this stark and most humbling feeling of being less than.
All around me, the smallest units of people were pairs: girlfriends shopping, couples dining, a parent and child sitting together. Guys and gals, who were by themselves outside of shops or at street corners, gave the deliberate impression they were waiting for someone. They would look around often or constantly check and talk on their cell phones.
Their solitary condition was an unwanted one. Their behavior suggested being alone was not normal or acceptable. It made me wonder if loneliness is caused by a true desire for companionship or a deeper desire to fit in.
