I have a tendency to overanalyze almost every social encounter. I'm probably the worst judge of the impressions I make or how I'm perceived. It would be nice if I was able to get feedback from say, a panel of judges, to see how I came across, like on American Idol...

Randy Jackson: David David David, how ya doin' man?
Me: Um... good, I guess.
Randy: Well, man, I really wasn't digging what you wore tonight. You were a little flat in some parts of the conversation and I wasn't really feelin' ya. I thought some of your stories were okay, but next time, pick someone more your type. Paula?

Paula Abdul: I don't know. I think you have a nice, quiet quality about you. You probably need to work on not being so nervous, but I liked how you made some the jokes your own. Nice job overall, but there's room for improvement.
Me: Thank you.

Simon Cowell: I totally disagree, I thought you stunk. (puts his Coca-Cola cup down) We are here to raise the bar in this competition called life and you didn't meet it. Based on that performance, you just weren't good enough.
Paula: (turns to Simon) You're being a bit harsh, don't you think?
Simon: I'm not. Let's face it, a woman will be investing a lot of time and effort in loving him and she deserves somebody better. That's it, thank you.
Me: Umm... thank you. (I walk back to the red room and slump on the couch.)

Ryan Seacrest: (puts his hand on my knee) David, you heard the judges, that was a little rough. How are you feeling?
Me: (removing his hand) Kind of crummy, but I guess I'll have to wait and see.
Ryan: Well, if you want to see David go on to the next round, you can call or text in your vote. Next up, Orlando Bloom.