A couple days ago, somebody wrote briefly about online vs. real personas. They wondered if they portray themselves on their site differently than they do in real life. It is something I've asked myself on a number of occasions, especially since I'm still new to online journaling and prone to overanalyzing myself.
I believe I portray myself here pretty closely to how I am in real life. For me, it is more satisfying and just easier. When I read old entries, I don't want the feeling that I'm being phony or playing to an audience, saying things that I think others want to hear or simply aping for acceptance. What good would that do me? I've already done and felt that for such a long time in real life and that wasn't satisfying.
Do I worry that people will think that I'm naive, lead an uninteresting life and have poor taste? Yeah I do, but maybe I am naive and have bad taste. I am constantly seeking to be happier and better. I'm constantly attempting to make my life more adventurous, exciting and interesting. I try not worry and guess what others are thinking about me. I struggle with being so self-conscious constantly, both online and in real life.
The other thing I don't want to do is portray myself as this ultra-cool, ultra-smart or ultra-sophisticated person. First of all, I'm not that smart and not that cool. Secondly, I assume that most everybody else is more sophisticated and experienced and will see right through me. Call it expectation management, but if I were to misrepresent myself and then meet anybody who actually reads this, I would never be able to reconcile the real me with the guy they've read about. That would be unfair to everybody. To show myself as somebody I'm not is self-defeating.
It is all about context. The personality portrayed here is me with a little time delay and slightly better grammar. I reveal some traits here that I may not in real life and there are things that I would only confess to in real life. I bet this is true for almost everybody I read. Plus, isn't it sometimes more revealing all the things I don't say? What you see is just a different angle of the same guy in all his magnificent simplicity.
