Ten Years Ago

So I may be feeling a little guilty for watching High School Reunion. It is a reality show that reunites the class of 1992 from some random high school. I can't help but relate to it since my 10th year reunion was just last September. I didn't attend due to a lack of curiosity and the fact that the few classmates I keep in touch with weren't going to attend either.

If the television show is any evidence of how my own reunion went, then I am glad I missed it. No matter how far people had progressed over ten years, they seem to regress to their high school mentalities when reacquainted with old friends, rivals and crushes. I also dread the fact that those attending would mainly be there to either show off or compare themselves to everybody else.

Back in high school, I hung out with three distinct cliques. The first was the "movers and shakers", the cool kids with ambition, looks, money and good social standing. The group took me in most likely for my ambition, since I don't recall having any of those other traits. The second group was the "artists", the actors, dancers and musicians. One of my best friends was part of this group and I was a pianist and aspiring songwriter (that aspiration ended when I realized I did not have the aptitude for such pursuits). The last clique was the "brains", which included my other best friend and I remember hanging out in a class that they took, even though I wasn't enrolled in it (that is how I inadvertently learned a little bit about photography).

My simultaneous associations had advantages and drawbacks. It taught me to be compassionate and understanding of different views and perspectives. It offered me opportunities to excel in a variety of pursuits from student government to the annual talent show. It also prevented me from being easily labeled and stereotyped. But all of those advantages were offset by one major drawback. My multiple associations kept me at arms-length from any one group, never completely fitting in with one group or another.

At times it seems rather noble, attempting to break stereotypes and attempting to set myself apart by being well-rounded. At other times though, it seems like a self-defense mechanism, keeping or increasing the distance between myself and those around me so that I won't get hurt or be completely rejected. Looking back, I realize that I did the same thing in college and I would not be shocked to discover that I am doing the same thing now.