One of the things I dread, being a shy single and all, is eating out alone. I am sure it is a whole combination of fears and anxieties that make solo dining unappealing. I mean, I'm fine with going to coffee houses alone, watching a movie alone or shopping alone, but the thought of eating at a restaurant alone seems so... pathetic. The worst thought that crosses my mind is that people will stare at me, laugh at me, give me spiteful looks and think, "What a loser! He doesn't have anybody to share a meal with... how sad." It is enough to paralyze me and keep me indoors.

One of my resolutions this year is to be less shy and be more confident. This coincided with a craving for pancakes this morning. I've been meaning to have brunch at Just Breakfast, a local restaurant. (My other resolution is to try every restaurant in town, at least once, this year.) So after some internal debating, I finally forced myself to go and eat there. I wasn't about to start breaking resolutions on only the fifth day of the new year because that would really be sad.

When I got to the restaurant I had short anxiety attack, so instead of walking in, I walked passed it and up a half-block before I turned around and came back. The place was absolutely packed with families and couples enjoying Sunday breakfasts. I put my name on the waiting list and was eventually seated at a table for two by the front window.

As I sipped my coffee, I looked around the restaurant. People would glance at me, but I told myself not to think about what they were thinking. I reminded myself that I really couldn't read their thoughts and, most likely, people weren't even paying any attention to me. I tried to relax and enjoy the view outside and the activity around me. I did make a note to bring a newspaper next time, so that I had something to keep my hands and mind occupied.

I made a couple of "interesting" observations while waiting for my food. There was a family of five, where everybody talked except the dad. He looked a little bored, as though he didn't really want to be there. There was an older couple in the corner trying every ring tone on their mobile phone. I noticed another older couple enjoying each others' company as they read different sections of the newspaper. There was a young family attempting to have a peaceful breakfast as their older toddler tossed all the forks on the floor. And I noticed a middle-aged man, dressed in cycling gear, eating alone and browsing a sports gear catalog.

The food didn't take long to arrive and the service was quite good, which explains why the restaurant was rated one of the best in the south valley. I went through my scrambled egg, ham and pancakes rather quickly. I drank only a cup and a half of coffee. I requested a glass of water, just so that I would have an alternative drink to reach for when I had the urge. The meal was really quite good, so I think I will be coming back soon to try one of their omelettes.

As I left the restaurant, a sense of relief washed over me. None of the bad things I thought would happen ever happened. It was a positive experience that I would be willing to do again. It made me appreciate, though, eating out with good friends and good company. I felt pretty proud of myself for finally having the guts to eat out alone. It's silly, I know, such a stupid little thing like this, but if you could understand the anxiety and stress it causes me, you could perhaps appreciate today's small victory.