Can't Control Chaos

How about that? I'm out of breath, sweaty, and I barely made the train. I had planned to leave with plenty of time to spare, but last-minute conversations cause last-minute quarter-mile dashes. I'm having way too much fun.

I attempted to plan out my day, but events quickly overtook me, starting with a surprise 9:00 AM meeting that lasted until noon. A surprise meeting is like a pop quiz. You are expected to have understandable answers and printed material ready at a moment's notice about the latest and greatest project.

In a given half-hour, you assemble an executive summary, make a mental list of possible questions and suitable answers, print an ungodly number of color charts and schedules, and then panic. With all of that done, you run into the meeting room and inevitably one of two things happens...

1. Nobody asks you any questions or reads any of your material.
2. Everybody asks you questions you were unprepared for and there aren't enough handouts to go around.

Both incidents are unwanted and yet unstoppable. Both also leave you thinking, "Why do I put myself through this craziness?!" You can organize and plan all you want, giving yourself a false sense of control, but there will always be the surprises and general chaos to throw you off-guard. The chaos you can't control.

goodbye to control
it's such an illusion
hello to the truth of my need

- from "When I Close My Eyes" by The Basics